Book Title: Marriage
Author(s): Natubhai Shah
Publisher: UK Jain Academy

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Page 38
________________ act. Through the sanctification of marriage, however, a husband and wife become the closest of relatives. (Maimonides) Mystical tradition * Husband and wife are two halves of the same soul. Adam and Eve were originally two halves of the same body. Partner Selection Jewish law insists that Jew should only marry a Jewish partner. In the past the 'arranged marriage' was the norm, though not in the sense of the young couple not having any say in the matter. Judaism has always discouraged casual relationships, trial marriages or living together, and men and women of marriageable age did not have regular opportunities to meet. In practice, marriages were only arranged in so far that parents, relations or friends would suggest partners for a young man or woman, and enquire into their backgrounds. If a proposal seemed suitable a couple would meet, and it was entirely up to them to decide whether they wished to meet again. Usually, after two or three meetings they would have been able to decide whether to become engaged. Nowadays 'arranged' marriages of this type are still the norm amongst some Orthodox Jews. However, in other Jewish circles, boy meets girl in as varied circumstances as in society generally. A. Preparation for Marriage Jewish education is not just academic learning but a preparation for living life to the full as a member of the Jewish people. A child's earliest influences come from the home. There he or she observes the parental relationship, and absorbs the warmth of Jewish family life as well as a great deal of knowledge about day to day Jewish living. In such an environment a child develops the resolve to emulate his or her parents in building a new Jewish home. Detailed knowledge of the laws, customs and usages entailed in marriage are learned formally. B. Engagement The engagement ceremony might be a formal promise to marry, called 'tenaim', or an informal 'at home', where family and friends express their good wishes. In some communities the formal betrothal ceremony is delayed until just before the wedding. Nowadays, rather than 38

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