Marriage

Author(s): Natubhai Shah
Publisher: UK Jain Academy

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SIKH WEDDINGS
The Sikh marriage ceremony is called 'Anand Karaj' which means the ceremony of bliss. It is an important rite of passage for a Sikh. It is not just the joining in matrimony of a man and a woman but a deep spiritual union between the two and a path in achieving the goal of oneness with the Divine. In the Sikh Scripture, Sri Guru Granth Sahib, this union is described as;
'Those are not husband and wife who stay together, those are who have one light in two bodies.'
A. Choosing a partner
There is much cultural similarity amongst people of Indian origin, when it comes to the parental responsibility of choosing partners for their young people. In the Sikh tradition, finding a suitable match for their sons and daughters of marriageable age, especially after they have completed their education, becomes an important activity for the families.
In contemporary Sikh society, the choice is made together by the intending partners and the parents on both sides and the young people have the opportunity to meet each other before a decision is made to go ahead. If both sides are satisfied then the father of the girl or another male member will offer a small sum of money to the prospective son-in-law as a way of approval of the relationship being formalised. This is more of a cultural norm rather than a religious practice. The practice has become more of an assisted marriage rather than an arranged marriage.
However, a small percentage of young people are making their own choices, in many cases outside of the Sikh faith, which can cause difficulties for the family, sometimes a complete breakdown but eventually some families make adjustments after a period of time in order to maintain contact.
B. The Engagement Ceremony (Mangni/ Kurmai)
The engagement ceremony is not essential according to the Sikh Code of Conduct. However, if the families so desire, a ceremony may be held. In India, it is usually in a Gurdwara near the groom's home. In most marriages taking place in the U.K. it precedes the marriage ceremony in the Gurdwara. A party of five or seven relatives of the girl, usually the grandfather (if alive), the father, father's and mother's brothers and the bride's brothers perform the engagement ceremony in the presence of the holy scripture, Sri Guru Granth Sahib. They present a kara (a bracelet which should be steel but is usually gold), Indian sweets, dry and fresh fruit to the young man. During the ceremony, prayers are said and a special hymn from the scripture is
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