Marriage

Author(s): Natubhai Shah
Publisher: UK Jain Academy

Page 46

sung. The girl's father puts on the kara on the groom's right hand and puts a dried date in his mouth as a mark of his acceptance as his daughter's fiancée. The boy's family reciprocate by presenting gifts of clothes, sweets and jewellery in a ceremony called 'Chunni Ceremony,' to the girl at a different place, usually her family home.
Over the years, a ring ceremony has also been introduced as part of the engagement ceremony in India where the couple to be married exchange rings at a special event organised by the families especially in India.
C. Pre-marriage rituals
These have no religious significance but it is a cultural practice observed by most families.
Generally, the evening before the marriage ceremony starts with the women's sangeet (music), in which there is joyful singing and humorous teasing by female relatives of the groom and bride in their respective places. The relatives bring gifts for the wedding which are displayed along with the gifts which the bride's or groom's family have chosen for each other's families and relatives. Feasting begins on a large scale. A few days before the wedding, some families also do a ceremonial preparation of sweets and savouries as part of the pre-wedding.
The Mayian ceremony is performed on the girl and the boy in their respective homes the evening before the wedding. The boy or girl is made to sit on a low wooden seat under a temporary canopy of a traditional red fabric material, held up by four married female relatives. A paste made up of gram flour, turmeric and oil is ritually rubbed on the face, arms, legs and feet to help with deep cleansing and beautifying the individual for the wedding day whilst traditional songs are sung. From then onwards, it is expected of the boy and the girl to stay at home till they proceed for the ceremony.
Afterwards, in the girl's case, her maternal uncle ceremonially puts on her wrists Choora, red ivory type bangles and makes presents of clothes and jewellery to her and other members of his sister's family. The girl's mother's family have a distinctive role in all the ceremonies.
D. Preparation for the wedding
It may take up to a year to plan a wedding. Some families have started the practice of engaging the wedding planner to do the job for them. As Sikh marriage ceremonies are expected to take place in a Sikh gurdwara and most families choose to have it over the weekend, most gurdwaras have a long waiting list (our local gurdwara has an eighteen months waiting list). August is the most popular month because of bank and other holidays in the UK.
The invitation cards are sent by post to relatives and friends or home delivered by the parents of the bride and groom to their closest relatives usually within the month of the wedding.
46