Marriage

Author(s): Natubhai Shah
Publisher: UK Jain Academy

Page 36

The priest sprinkles a little holy powder on the heads of the bride and groom (vaasksepa). Then the bride's father offers water and tal to the groom, who passes them to the priest who, sprinkles them on the bride.
With the second abhiseka, the priest blesses the couple saying: 'You two have been married. Now you are equal in love, experience, happiness and good conduct. You are true friends in happiness and misery, in virtues and faults. May you become equal in mind, speech and action, and in all the good virtues.'
With the unclasping of hands (kar-mocan), the priest recites mantras and says: 'You have released your hands but your love is unbroken.' The bride's father gives a symbolic gift to the groom. The community then pronounces blessings of congratulation on the couple and the invoked or invited gods are reverently requested to return to their abodes.
After this, the couple is given a send-off by their relatives, and return to the bridegroom's home, visiting the temple on the way. It is the customary to hold a reception and dinner for the guests before the bride and groom depart, when individual congratulations are offered to the couple.
For Jains, marriage had no religious sanctity, but was a civil contract, although marriage was regarded as desirable and necessary for some religious duties and rituals; women looked after domestic affairs and children, while the man's role was to earn and perform duties outside the home. In discussing the necessity and importance of marriage, the Aadipurana mentions that offspring are not possible without marriage and religion is not possible without offspring.
Jain marriage is usually within the community members with similar backgrounds, where the couple has free choice to agree to the proposal. The community not only witnesses the union but also helps in overcoming future misunderstanding. Inter-caste marriages within different Jain communities or other religious communities are not penalised, sometimes they are accepted and blessed by the community leaders. Widows usually do not re-marry; they keep themselves busy in spiritual activities, but there is no prohibition for their re-marriage
In Jain society the marriage is usually permanent, but it can be nullified by mahaajana, if either of the couple finds a major defect in the partner within a prescribed time these include; unchastity; impotence; intolerable behaviour; if the spouse absconds or is missing; or becomes an ascetic or dies. Though they are permitted, most divorcee women or widows do not remarry; they involve themselves in religious and spiritual life, but many men remarry. The divorce in Jain society is very rare. Pre-marital relationships bring discredit to families and are discouraged.
36