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The Demand for the Boon
349
Every word uttered by Shri Ram stabbed her heart like a pointed spear. She became deeply agitated. Her grief knew no bounds. Her tender heart seemed to break. She was grieved over the sad prospect of a separation from Shri Ram. She seemed to have lost her breath. She began to shiver with a nameless fear. She became unconscious oppressed by her grief. There was a commotion in the harem. Shri Ram held her; and gently placed her on the ground. The attendants sprinkled cold water on her face; and began to fan her. Shri Ram sat on the ground placing Kausalya's head on his lap. Within a few moments, she recovered her consciousness, sat up and said greatly dazed :
"Who made me recover my consciousness? Oh! I was happy when I was unconscious. I will gladly die. How can I bear with the separation from Ram ? The son is going away to a forest and the husband is becoming a sadhu. It would have been better if I had died before hearing all this. Oh Lord ! Why have I not been killed by a thunder-stroke? Why has not my heart broken into a hundred pieces? How hard and harsh is the human heart! Though a mountain of calamity falls upon it, it keeps beating.”
Her cries filled the others with grief. All were plunged in sorrow. The atmosphere that was jubilant a little while ago became in a moment heavy and depressed. Sita stood in a corner and kept wiping her tears with the edge of her sari.
“Dear mother ! You are the queen of the kingdom of Ayodhya.... You are the consort of the Emperor Dasarath and you are a noble woman of the illustrious line of Ikshvakus. You should not weep like ordinary women. When a lion goes out into the forest alone does the lioness weep like this ?” "Oh Ram. Oh you life of my life”, said Queen Kausalya
ng. “You cannot understand the agitation of a mother's heart. Kausalya does not possess the strength to bear with a separation from you. All my golden dreams have been dashed down to pieces."
"But, dear mother, there is no other way. I have got the golden opportunity of repaying the debt of gratitude to my parents. In our life, sometimes we have to sacrifice our desires,
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