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10th Biennial JAINA Convention
whatever he or she does, no one would dare to indulge in anything that would hurt others. Many conflicts would disappear.
In Jain scriptures, 35 rules for good conduct are laid out for the householder. I will mention a few which are directly concerned with the well being of the family. The householder should earn his livelihood by honesty, and expenses should be within income. The family should dress decently, and within their means. The household should be kept in a good neighborhood. Marriage should be between two people of similar culture and language, and with compatible character and tastes. This is not to promote caste, color, or creed differences, but to avoid disharmony and strife. The householder should respect his parent and elder members of society. He should take care of his dependents. These basic principles of Jainism if correctly understood, and earnestly practiced can make an ideal family, and worthy citizens of the world.
Preserving and enhancing a minority culture in a somewhat different environment is a task requiring diligence and perseverance. Each one of the hundred thousand Jain living in North America, has faced some challenge at one time or another. This country was founded on the idea of religious freedom for all. Here we have the freedom to practice what we believe in. But we find that many attitudes and well-accepted traditions in this country are different from those in Jain culture.
The common practice of dating jeopardizes the aspect of partial celibacy. It promotes premarital sex, which is against the Jain culture. Youngsters choosing their own partners for marriage without consulting their parents result in an increased distance between the generations. If the marriage works then fine, but if there are difficulties, without parental support divorce is likely. Divorce being so common in this society, we see people forgetting the value of compromise, tolerance, and understanding to preserve the marriage.
Elderly people living by them or in an institution waiting to see their children and grandchildren are not a very desirable situation. Grandparents taking care of grandchildren on a daily basis are a routine sight in our community. The role of the elderly in the extended family is that of caregiver and advisor. Their presence is important in the upbringing of the children and in providing stability for the whole family.
The constant quest for acquisition of material goods and excessive consumption in this society conflicts with the principle of non-possessiveness and non-attachment. This materialistic view affects the cohesiveness of the family. Even within the family possession of items and territory are held. From an early age, kids do not learn the value of sharing, and are influenced by a society in which sharing is not emphasized. By Jain tradition, sharing is instilled as an important character trait since early age.
The greatest problem in present family culture is the emphasis on the individual. The culture and society in revolve around the self. Everyone expects personal freedom. This principle, however, has been abused to the extent decisions are made without respect to or the well being of the family. On the other hand, Jain tradition and culture place emphasis on the family
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