________________
DISCOURSE 87
195
dismissal (Upasham, Vivek, Samvar). He was greatly astonished. The Muniraj also had disappeared. He fell into a state of deep thoughtfulness. In his hand, there was the blood-stained sword. His clothes were drenched in blood. Sushama's bloodcovered head was hanging from his neck and in his mind, the three words uttered by the Muniraj were reverberating. Those three words were a boon bestowed upon him by the spiritual head. Were they not? A tremendous turmoil was raging in his mind. A tremendous earth-quake seemed to shake his heart.
"The muniraj has exhorted me to suppress my emotions and to discipline myself. He has exhorted me to use my discretion and to renounce the causes of my agitation and he has exhorted me to discard my sinful thoughts and actions. The cause for my agitation is my deep infatuation with Sushama; my attachment for the very face of Sushama. Should I discard it ? Now when Sushama herself is dead, what is the use of loving her ? He fell into deep thoughtfulness. Life seemed to be a dream to him. All the bondages of Moha (infatuation) broke off and Chilatiputra became a Vitrag.
What a magnificent miracle did the three words of the spiritual head perform ! But the miracle occurred only when he, after hearing the words, contemplated on them. If he had dismissed those words without contemplating on them, this miracle would not have occurred. This miracle would not have taken place even if he had thought about those words negatively. Do you know what is meant by thinking negatively of something? "The muni said, “Upasham ! Vivek! Samvar! (Pacify your passions; and control them; use your discretion and discard your sinful actions and propensities). Ah ! How can there be any peace in the life of a dacoit like me ? What kind of renunciation can I make? How can I discard my propensities ? I cannot do these things. The muniraj has disappeared into the skies. Let me go on. What is done is done; and it cannot be undone ?”
This is one kind of negative thinking. If a man lacks discretion and intelligence and if his intellect is crooked, he would indulge in such negative thinking. Negative thinking impedes
Jain Education International
For Private & Personal Use Only
www.jainelibrary.org
