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FRAGMENTS OF A PRISONER'S DIARY
vious life, or a sheer whim on the part of my parents, my first impulse is to go straight at it. I am not ashamed of this impulse because it is a law of my physical being. Borrowing from the human language, I can say that it is a part of the providential arrangement which has made me a cat. If the Providence thought that such an impulse is bad, that it mars the harmony of his dispensation, he surely could have easily left it out of my system. In short, when I obey the impulse to steal, I simply act according to the will of God. I am sure that any normal human being feels a similar impulse in an analogous situation. If he usually appears to control the impulse, that is not because of any moral superiority, but simply because of cowardice. He is cither afraid of others calling, and even punishing, him as a thief, or he is ashamed of himself. In the latter case, it is
worse.
However it may be with human beings, I know no inhibition, and therefore look upon the rarely available bowl of milk as God-sent, and lap it up with no moral scruple, although with the fear of being beaten. What else could I do? From experience I know that my chance of getting it by truthful, legal and peaceful means, that is, by begging from the owner, is less than one to ten. On the contrary, the chance is very much greater if I follow the sovereign truth of my God-given impulse, and let legality and peace go
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