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________________ sva. lADubahenanI jIvanarekhA [23] pAlaNapuravAsI jaina te e bhAgye ja haze ke je lADubahenane na jANate heya. bIjA paNa ghaNAM zaheranA aneka jaine ane khAsa karI vidyApremI jene lADubahenane jANe che, e mAre anubhava che. thoDA divasa pahelAM e suzIlA bahenanuM avasAna aNadhArI ane aniSTa rIte thayuM e bInA jeo temanA paricayamAM AvyA hoya teone duHkha Ape tevI che. e bahena vidyApriya, cAritrazIla ane sevAparAyaNa hovA chatAM teoe nadImAM DUbI AtmadhAta karavAno vicAra kema karyo haze e prazna eka keyaDA jevo lAge che, paNa chellA savA varSa thayAM jeo temanA sahaja paNa paricayamAM AvyA hatA teone e praznane ukela eTale ja sahele che. savAvarSa thayAM teone cittabhrama jevuM thayeluM. zarIra ane mane divase divase khUba ja nabaLAM paDatAM gayAM ane khAsa karI mAnasika sthiti upara temane kAbU bahu ja ocho thaI gayo. saMkalpabaLa, nizcayazakti, ane daDhatA je emanAM jIvanamAM khAsa to hatAM te bahu ja ghaTI gayAM. tenI asara zarIra upara khUba thaI. temane kSaNe kSaNe ema ja lAgatuM ke huM have jagata mATe upayogI nathI, balake bojArUpa chuM. A AtmaglAni dUra karavAnA aneka prayatno temanA paricita guNAnurAgIoe ane temanAM kuTuMbIoe karyo, paNa niSphaLa. lagabhaga chellA be mAsa thayA temanI mAnasika sthiti sudhare evA hetuthI zeTha amaracaMda talakacaMdanAM putravadhu gaMgAsva. maNibahena muMbaIthI amadAvAda AvelAM. eka mAsa thayA che teo satyAgraha AzramanI najIka, jyAM zrI gaMgAbahena bAlAbhAI maMchAcaMda rahetA hatA tyAM jaI rahelA. maNibahenanI mAphaka gaMgAbahena paNa lADubahenanAM sahRdaya dharmabahena. ane vaLI tyAM jaI rahevAmAM AzramanuM prasanna vAtAvaraNa, mahAtmAjInuM prasanna vAtAvaraNa, mahAtmAjInuM pravacana ane sevAkArya e badhAMne lAbha maLe ane kadAca lADubahenanI mAnasika sthiti sudhare e udAtta hetu hata. paNa dhAryuM kevuM thAya che? bIjI badhI bAbatamAM sAvadhAna ane zANapaNa dharAvanAra e bahenane pitAnA jIvana viSe nirAzAne UMDAmAM
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________________ sva. lADubahenanI jIvanarekhA [259 UMDe zrama hato te chevaTe jIva laIne ja gaye. e bhrame pahelAM paNa aneka vAra temane AtmaghAta karavA prerelAM, paNa bheda khulle paDI javAthI te badhA prayatna niSphaLa gayelA. jyAre kALa Ave che ane avazya bhAvi hoya che, tyAre sAvadhAna paNa bhUlI jAya che. teonA jIvananI chelI rAte pAse rahenAra ane sAvadhAna thaI saMbhALa rAkhanAra darekane bhUlavyAM. bIjAo UMdhatAM hatAM tyAre e bahene nadInuM chevaTanuM zaraNa lIdhuM. - nirAzAnA bhrama sivAyanI e bahenanI badhI manovRttio keTalI zuddha ane samabhAvazIla hatI tenI sAkSI te baheno maLI Avela chelle patra ja che. A patra jyAre bIje divase mahAtmAjIne Ape tyAre teoe vAMcIne kahyuM ke "patra pUre samabhAva ane DahApaNathI bhareluM che. ATalI jAgRtithI patra lakhanAra e bAI kadAca jIvatI paNa maLI Ave." paNa e AzA vyartha hatI. chevaTe teonuM mRta zarIra nadImAMthI maLI AvyuM* ane tene agnisaMskAra karavAmAM Avyo. avasAnane lagatI ATalI Teka hakIkata ApyA pachI teonA jIvanane thaDe paricaya asthAne nahi gaNAya. lADubahenane bAlyAvasthAmAM ja vaidhavya prApta thayeluM. Aje teonI uMmara cALIsa varSathI ochI na hatI. teonA zvasurapakSanuM pArekha kuTuMba jANItuM che. teone pitRpakSa paNa teTale ja khAnadAna che. zvasura ane pitR e baMne pakSanI lADubahena pratye khUba mamatA hatI. eTaluM ja nahi, paNa e bahenamAM keTalIka evI asAdhAraNa vizeSatA e hatI ke jene lIdhe ekavAra teNInA paricayamAM AvanAra tenA guNathI mudha ja banI jAya. e vizeSatAomAM vinaya ane svArpaNatti mukhya hatAM. lADubahenanA vicAramAM, vyavahAramAM ane bhASaNamAM, uddhatapaNe kadI paNa joyuM hoya evI eka paNa vyakti maLavI durlabha che. pitAthI nAnA hoya ke moTA hoya, nekara heya ke majUra hoya, dareka sAthe mRdutAthI ane hasate cahere ja lADubahenanuM A mRta zarIra, temanA mRtyunA bIjA divase baporanA vakhate usamAnapurAnI nIce nadImAM vahetuM daSTigocara thayuM hatuM ane tene nadInA bharapUra pravAhamAMthI kAMThe ANavAnuM vIratA ane sAhasabhareluM bhAre kAma, purAtattva maMdiranA maMtrI bhAIzrI rasikalAla parikhanA ladhubaMdhu bhAIzrI savAilAle banAvyuM hatuM. e 17 varSanA thara bALake e kArya mATe je parAkrama batAvyuM hatuM te kharekhara Azcarya ane abhimAna upajAve tevuM hatuM.--jinavijaya.
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________________ 16] darzana ane ciMtana hamezAM besavAnuM. teonI svArpaNatti te meM mArI jiMdagImAM anyatra bhAgye ja joI haze. teonI game tevI kImatI vastu paNa levA AvanAra mATe mAtra vastu ja nahi paNa koI bImAra ke bIjI rIte duHkhI heya te. tenI tana-mana-dhanathI sevA karI chUTavuM e ja e bAIne jIvanamaMtra. cAlu varSanA me mAsamAM khare bapore eka nAnuM gadheDuM taddana azakta sthitimAM khetaramAM paDeluM. tyAre e bahene eka vidyArthIne sAthe laI tene uThAvI chAMyaDAmAM mUkI tene khorAka-pAthI khUba ja saMtoSavA prayatna karelo, e A lekhakanI jANamAM che. ekavAra pAsenA gAma mAdalapuramAM eka bAI bImAra hevAnI ane na UThI zakavAnI vAta sAMbhaLatAM ja rAtrie tyAM davA laI javA ane AkhI rAta tenI sevAmAM rahevA tatpara thayelAM. koI vidyAthI ke anya bImAra paDe tyAre lADubahenane UMdha hoya ja nahi. kAM te e bImAranuM mAthuM dabAvatAM hoya ke paga. A sevAvRtti paNa teonI kAMI kaLIyugI nahatI. kaLIyugamAM svajano sAthe aNabanAva ane parajano sAthe sneha hevAne je niyama kahevAya che te A bAImAM kadIye keIe anubhavyo haze ema huM nathI mAnate. e bAI te sasarAnuM kAma hoya ke sAsunuM, jeThANunuM hoya ke jeThanuM, bhAIo, bhojAIe ke bIjAM game tenuM game tevuM kAma haya, mAtra kartavyabuddhithI tene karI ja chUTe. kharekhara e bAIe vinaya, matrI ane arpaNarinI pAramitA sAdhelI. paNa e bAIne jIvanamAM bIjo eka asAdhAraNa guNa e hato je bahu ja ocho strI-puruSomAM hoya che. te guNa jIjJAsAne-vidyA meLavavAne. aDhAra varSa pahelAMnA mArA prathama paricaya vakhate meM e bahenane saMskRtano abhyAsa karatAM pAlaNapuramAM joyelAM. AjakAlanA abhyAsano. zArIrika kAmakAja choDI ArAmavRtti zedhavAne deSa e bAImAM aMza paNa na hate. ghere gharanA kAmamAM ane bIjA vakhate satata abhyAsa karatAM meM joyelAM. teonI A jIjJAsAvRtti pAlaNapuranI keDIbaMdha bahenemAM ane laghu kanyAomAM dAkhala thayelI, badhI bahenane e bahena bhaNAve, bhaNavA prere ane duHkhI vidhavAone sAce dilAsa paNa Ape. pAlaNapuranI kanyAzALA e te vakhatanI badhI jaina kanyAzALAomAMnI AkarSaka ane Adarza zALA. aneka kanyAo saMskRta bhaNe, zuddha bele, ane lakhe. A badhuM vAtAvaraNa e lADubahenanA anukaraNanuM pariNAma hatuM. lADubahena te kAvya, nyAya, kamagraMthAdi prakaraNe, hiMdI ane chevaTe thoDuM aMgrejI suda
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________________ sva. lADubahenanI jIvanarekhA [161 zIkhela. teo muMbaImAM jAya ke kalakattA, pUnA hoya ke amadAvAda, koI saMsthAmAM gayAM hoya ke kuTuMbane tyAM teone svAdhyAya chUTe ja nahi. kAma karavuM ane abhyAsa karavo e be teonI DAbI jamaNI AMkha hatI. chellA varSanI cittabhramanI sthitimAM paNa e be guNe satata jAgatA A lekhake anubhavyA che. anekavAra manAI karyA chatAM UMgha na Ave tyAre lagabhaga AkhI rAta besI kAMIne kAMI vAMcatAM teone joyAM che. citazrama vakhate paNa smRti te abhuta hatI. Igliza ane saMskRta vAcana mArA mATe karatAM hoya tyAre ghaNIvAra arthapanA teonI ja kAma Ape. paNa A uparAMta teoe uparanuM sAhitya vAMcavAnI taka paNa jatI karI na hatI. chellA mAsamAM, AzramamAM cAlatA hiMdI kalAsamAM te jatAM. hiMdI lekhana, vAcana ane arthajJAna je zikSaka surendrane kahevuM paDeluM ke lADubahena to svayaM zikSikA-padane yogya che. satyAgraha Azramano eka paNa strI, puruSa ke bALaka e bhAgye ja haze je lADubahenane na jANu hoya. ATalI badhI zaktionI jAgRti chatAM dudeve teonA manamAM eka ja bhrama thaI Avyo ane te e ke mAruM jIvana nirarthaka che. A bhrama e teone kALa hatuM ema kahevuM joIe. teonA guNathI mugdha thayelAM teonAM mAtra kuTumbIo ja nahi paNa teonA guNAnurAgI taTastha snehIoe paNa teonI smRti kAyama rAkhavA kAMIka vicAra karyo che e khuzInI vAta che, ratrIjAtinuM sthAna ane tene lIdhe sAmAjika gaurava nahi samajanAra keTalAka puruSa ane keTalIka aNasamaju bahene AvA prasaMgane lAbha laI ema dhAre agara kahe ke strIonA bhaNavAthI zuM ? bhaNIne zuM ukALyuM ? juone bhaNyA pachI paNa AtmaghAtane prasaMga ! te pachI na bhaNavuM e zuM beTuM che ? A kathana ajJAna ane adhIrajamAMthI udbhave che. tethI zuM puruSa jAtimAM kAMI TI ke deSa dekhAtA ja nathI? je khUba bhaNatara chatAM pumAM kalaha, kaMkAsa, mArAmArI, lebha, lAlaca ane avicAritA dekhAya che te e devathI strI jAti bacI ja javI joIe evI AzA rAkhavI te zuM vadhAre paDatuM nathI? vaLI ekAda kaI kissAmAM saheja aniSTa aMza Ave to tene AgaLa karI ke moTuM rUpa ApI bIjA ISTa aMzenI kiMmata na AMkavI e zuM nyAyabuddhi kahevAya ? eka jhaverInI dukAnamAM koI kAraNasara khAdha AvI eTale jhaverAtanA dhaMdhAne doSa? dAktarI ke dezI ilAja karavA chatAM koI eka jIvI na zake 11
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________________ 16ra 3 darzana ane ciMtana tethI zuM e IlAje pRthvI uparathI nirmULa karI nAkhavA ? A uparathI ApaNe eTaluM ja kahI zakIe ke jJAnanuM phaLa maLe ja che. paNa sAthe pUrva rjita karma je baLavAna hoya te te karma paNa bhagavyA vinA chUTatAM nathI. astu. A te eka prAsaMgika vAta thaI. lADubahenanA jIvananA pariNAme pAlaNapuranI strI ane kanyAvargamAM kAMIka jijJAsA udbhavI che. nirAlaMbana vidhavA bahenomAM jJAnAlaMbana laI te mArge jIvana prazasta banAvavAnI vRtti pedA thaI che. potAnI taddana dIna avasthAnuM bhAna prakaTayuM che, ane alpAze paNa svAzrayI vRtti jAgI che. saikAo thayAM aTakI gayeluM buddhinuM vaheNa cAlu thayeluM che. je eTalA aMze e bAIne jIvanane pariNAme thoDA thoDA pramANamAM paNa pragaTayA hoya to ema koNa kahI zake ke strInI keLavaNI niSphaLa che ? lADubahenanA saMbaMdhamAM ghaNuM ja lakhavA jevuM che paNa A sthaLe ATaluM lakhavuM paNa vadhAre ja kahevAya. AzA che, ke A saMkSipta paricaya vAMcanAra paNa e bAIne paralekagata AtmAnI zAntiprArthanAmAM pitAno mAnasika phALo Apaze. [[ pAlaNupura" patrikAnA zrAvaNa mAsanA aMkamAM paM. zrI sukhalAlajIe Alekhela. !