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DISCOURSE 19
be praised. Only I must be praised. I must be praised more than others". This is what a jealous person desires. He takes delight in hearing others deprecated, and such a man takes delight in seeing the sorrows of others. A jealous person feels happy when he hears that someone he despises is in distress. Such a man wants to be happier than all the others.
DEEMING OURSELVES GREAT IS A DANGEROUS PROPENSITY
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The Sadhu of the lion's cave felt that enough praise had not been given to him. His happiness was therefore affected. He wanted to be praised more than Sthulabhadra. When the next rainy season came, he went to the Gurudev and said, "I desire to spend this Chaturmas in the house of Kosha, the dancer". The Gurudev said to him in a soft and tender voice, "Son, only Sthulabhadra is capable of spending four months of the rainy season in the house of the dancer, Kosha without becoming infatuated with her. This is a thing which neither you nor I can do".
But how could that jealous Sadhu believe the words of the Gurudev? He was bent upon going to the house of Kosha. He did not pay heed to the words of the Gurudev. The Gurudev tried to convince him of the impossibility of such an action but the Sadhu without listening to his Gurudev went to Kosha's house.
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JEALOUSY CAUSES A SPIRITUAL FALL
Jealousy impelled him to ignore the exhortation of his Gurudev. It did not allow him to realise the truth of the Gurudev's words. Think well using your intelligence. What a dreadful vice jealousy is? He was jealous of Sthulabhadra; but he slighted the sound advice of the Gurudev. "It is easy to live at the entrance of a lion's cave for four months; but it is not easy to live in the house of a prostitute without becoming infatuated with her". The muni who had lived at the entrance of a lion's cave could not realize this truth. His idea was, "If Sthulabhadra can remain there unperturbed why should I not? Am I inferior to Sthulabhadra ?"
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