Pratikramana Freedom Through Apology and Repentance

Author(s): Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Foundation

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Pratikraman
Questioner: How can you restore the trust you had for someone who has betrayed you?
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Dadashri: You must repent for all the times you have harbored negative thoughts for him. If you have lost faith in him, you have to repent for any ill thoughts about him. Only then will things be settled. That is why pratikraman is so necessary.(P.146) 9. Pratikramans In Varying Situations
Questioner: How can we tell if the other person is hurt?
Dadashri: You will immediately see it on his face. The sparkle in his eyes will have disappeared and his face will appear gloomy. Of course you will be able to tell whether or not he has been affected. It will be all too obvious.
Questioner: Yes.
Dadashri: Man has the capability to perceive what has happened to the other person.
Questioner: But some people are so good that they hide their true feelings and never give anything away through their expressions.
Dadashri: Even then you will know that you have said some hurtful things, and that it is bound to hurt him. And for that you must do pratikraman. If you said something hurtful, will you not know that it would hurt him?
Questioner: Yes I would know it.
Dadashri: You are not doing pratikraman for him. You are actually doing this to change your previous opinions. What is pratikraman? It reverses your past opinions. By doing pratikraman, the effect your words may have had on him, is erased instantly.
Pratikraman
Just keep in mind that you want to settle your interaction with him with equanimity and his mind will also improve through it. If however you are determined to get only your own way, his mind will react in the same way, with as much hostility. (P.151).
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Questioner: What do you call it when after treating someone with contempt you feel remorse?
Dadashri: If you feel remorse, you will break the habit of contempt. However, if you feel no remorse and on the contrary feel good about yourself and your deeds, know that it is a sign of going to hell. You must have remorse after doing something wrong.
Questioner: What should we do if we have hurt someone so badly that he is depressed?
Dadashri: Do pratikraman. And if you happen to meet that person again, then must tell him that the mistake was all yours and that you were insensitive. Tell him that you are sincerely sorry and that you are asking for his forgiveness. His wounds will heal when you say this.
Questioner: What should we do in order not to suffer the effects of behaving contemptuously towards others in the past?
Dadashri: For acts of contempt there is no other solution but to do repeated pratikramans. You have to keep on doing pratikraman until that person comes around. And if you happen to meet him face to face, then you should speak to him nicely and ask for forgiveness. Say to him: "I have made a very big mistake. I am a complete fool. I have no sense." When you discredit yourself, the other person feels better and his hurt will lessen.
I can see the effect of contempt from previous lives; therefore I am telling you not to have contempt towards anyone. Do not