Book Title: Life as I have Seen It
Author(s): Urmila S Dholakia
Publisher: Urmila S Dholakia

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Page 64
________________ Life As I've seen it Finally, my second wedding day came. The band was playing in the front yard. A forty-five-year old man showed up on the doorstep for the wedding. I suddenly sprouted goose bumps of fearwas that my future husband? The band was playing so loudly that no one could hear my muffled sobs. I felt like a fish trapped in the fish net society. The wedding began. Right next to the groom, there was a forty-year old lady that was clearly in charge of the wedding event. It was then that my new reality. dawned on me; the lady was my groom's first wife. I was going to be the forty-five-years old man's mistress. I felt like I was entering the jail of marriage under close watch. The trouble was that my husband himself was a victim of this strict jailer-type woman. I went to that house mechanically. How can I call it my home? How can I call my house when husband's first wife was already there? 298 I learned that in reality, my husband and his first wife had a very good relationship and were financially secure, but they did not have a child. So, was being sacrificed to fulfill their desire for a child. I was just a surrogate woman brought in the house to bear children. **:: I had to follow strict rules in this relationship. I was to stay with my husband only to bear the child, and he would be my husband only to impregnate me and call himself the father of the child. I had to sacrifice my gift of motherhood as if it was not my 62

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