Jain Spirit 2004 10 No 20

Author(s): Jain Spirit UK
Publisher: UK Young Jains

Page 46

44 LIFESTYLE
I was teaching a workshop recently and a participant spoke up. "My whole life has been motivated by fear," she said. "Everything I've done has been because of the fear that gnaws at me and so I have to act." Curious, the group wanted to know what that fear was. She looked at us as if we were all daft, "Why, the fear of not having enough money, of course." It was the group's turn to stare at her, then at each other. We had all seen her drive up in her Cadillac. We couldn't help but notice that she was impeccably dressed, coiffed and manicured. One woman asked her if she had a figure in mind that was enough. "Of course!" she sniffed. "And has that figure changed through the years?" "Well, naturally!"
t turned out that in this particular group, no one else feared a lack of money. Not that they were rich. It had just never occurred to them to worry about it. One woman laughed. "My husband and I made and lost three fortunes. If I worried about not having enough money. we would probably have never even made one!" As the assembly discussed their particular fears (driving at night, loneliness, failure), they began to realise that these fears hid deeper fears - abandonment, death, starvation. Layer upon layer of action ultimately reveals that much of our behaviour in daily life is, as this woman so simply put it, motivated by fear. We just don't see the truth or the underlying causes.
The great philosopher, Krishnamurti once said that there are really only two emotions in life: love and fear. Everything else stems from these two responses. We are told that the immortal soul has no fear. This leads me to think that perhaps then the immortal soul is comprised of unconditional love. Our existence as humans is an effort to free ourselves from the karmic particles that attach themselves to this potentially liberated soul. When you look at fear from the point of view of Jainism you can begin to see how it can be a marvellous teacher and ally instead of something to be ignored or suppressed.
I am not a Jain scholar, merely a student, yet I can easily see the connection between our various experiences of fear and our struggles to free ourselves of karma which, of course, in its simplest term means action. Fear seems an integral part of the destructive karmas. I can look at the example of the poor/wealthy woman above and see the karmas all at work - certainly the obstructive karma (antaraya) was keeping her from living a life of joy and service. The deluding karma (mohaniya) had convinced her that no amount of money would ever be enough, making her angry and anxious. The knowledgeobscuring karma (jnanavaraniya) was keeping her from seeing the truth about her situation. And the conation-obscuring karma (darsanavaranya) was sabotaging her own endeavours to develop her soul through her obsessiveness and acquisitiveness.
One of Jainism's most powerful practices for work with fear is the principle of ahimsa. To me there is no greater act of courage than to 'do no harm! How easy it would have been for Ghandi or for Martin Luther King to rally troops to charge in righteous rage
at their oppressors! Yet they chose the way of peaceful protest. Each time someone angers me, I have to ask myself, "Why am I angry? What am I afraid of?" If Krishnamurti is right, then so many of the emotions that keep me bound to karma are traceable to fear. Think of the knee jerk reaction most people have in the face of a spider. They don't kill it because it's evil. They kill it because they are afraid. We hate our enemy because we are afraid of him. Jesus Christ said, "Love your enemy." He easily could have said, "Stop fearing your enemy and you will see that you are the same." It is so much easier to lash out or hurt another instead of looking deeper at the fear you are ignoring.
Fear is part of the wiring of our material existence. It is a programme designed to protect us from harm, to help us flee predators or survive in the face of danger. Yet most of us live comfortable, even cozy lives compared to people living in wartorn and terrorised regions of the planet. So why are we afraid? The great anthropologist, Sir Laurens Van der Post once said, "Life has never been more secure, really, for many people in the world. Our power over nature has never been greater in every way - and yet we've never been so uneasy. The Bushmen in the Kalahari - who had none of the things we have, where life was the ancient life of the hunter, unpredictable and dangerous, - felt more secure than we feel in the midst of our plenty, alone at night in our beds."
I believe that fear can be a teacher. If you recognise that fear is motivating your behaviour, if you see that fear is keeping you from experiencing the fullness of life, then you can begin to use fear as a 'wake-up call' for your own work to liberation. This does not mean that you have to go sky diving. It does mean that when you are wallowing in depression unwilling to confront your own unhappiness or reacting angrily to others, that you have the courage to see the underlying fears. It is these fears that are preventing your true expression of love in the moment.
One way to begin to work with fear is to recognise how it is stored in your physical body. Unnecessary tension, poor breathing, inhibited movement are a few immediate clues that you can work with directly, without the interference of your analytical (and sometimes meddlesome) mind. Meditation and Yoga are wonderful practices for helping you recognise your personal ways of holding fear in the body. Another approach that many people have found useful is the Feldenkrais MethodR of Somatic Education. Moshe Feldenkrais was an engineer and athlete who discovered that small, gentle, repetitive movements help people unlock a lifetime of habits that are stored in movement patterns. By becoming aware of how you hold yourself in this way, you begin to choose a more effective life. He once said, "If you know what you are doing, you can do what you want." Is that not a step to freedom?
Lavinia Plonka is a Feldenkrais Teacher and author of 'What Are You Afraid Of? A Body/Mind Guide To Courageous Living' 2004. She teaches workshops internationally and has a private practice in North Carolina.