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58
THE ART OF POSITIVE THINKING
The man said, “Is that all? You could have told me this before. Why did you make me go round and round to other people's houses for nothing?"
The guru said, "Truth is not easily digestible. If I had told you before, you would have rejected it outright. But now that you have gone round and seen for yourself, you will understand that most people are unhappy because they look up to others for happiness."
That's the truth. He who looks up to another, will never be happy. Every man is unhappy, and he is unhappy on account of another. In each case, the other is the cause of one's sorrow. Illness, cruelty, hatred --- all occur because of another.
The "swa" meaning the self, and the "par" meaning the other', 'the alien', 'the opposite', are intimately connected with our individuality and constitute its frontiers. Either we think of "ourselves" or we think of “another". The "par" has two meanings'independence' and difference'; it has an independent existence, and it marks a separation from and an opposition to the 'self.
We accept the independence and the difference. Thinking can be from various angles. It is always relative. In itself it makes.no sense; its origin and development demand a base, something other than itself - the object may be some individual or thing, matter, space, time, a situation. But without some object which serves as its basis, thought cannot be. Without the fuel there can be no fire. Fuel is also required to ignite the fire of thought. That fuel is "par", 'the other'. No thinking is possible without 'the other'.
We think about ourselves. We have already discussed “How I look at myself!", one's approach to oneself. We must also discover "How I look at another!", one's approach to others. It is an important theme. When we live in society, we have to consider swa, "the self", as well as par, "the other". Without the other, there would be no society. If there were only swa, the self, it would constitute pure spirituality, without any need for social conduct. The whole of our social behaviour is based upon "the other", differentiated from "the self". How do we approach this other-consciousness?
There are two kinds of thinking - constructive and negative. Whether we think about ourselves or about another, our approach can be positive and constructive, or negative and destructive. It has been observed, however, that our approach to another is seldom constructive; for the most part it is destructive. Man is so constituted that he gives greater importance to the self and ignores the other. The most intelligent man, when questioned about the other, tends to depreciate the latter, espies many faults in him. Rarely do we meet a person who would see in another all the virtues and praise him for that. It is but seldom that he would shower such praise. The not-so-intelligent is incapable of recognising merit in another. Such
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