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22
Anger
Did you come here by car? What would happen if the car got angry on the way here?
Questioner: Then it would be impossible to come
here.
Dadashri : When you get angry with your wife, how do you think she copes?
Dadashri : (To the wife) you don't get angry do you? Questioner: Sometimes it happens.
Dadashri: What's the use of you both getting angry? Questioner: Should there not be some anger between a man and wife?
Dadashri No. There is no such rule. There should be harmony between a husband and wife. If they hurt each other they are not husband and wife. There is never any heartache where there is true friendship. Marriage is considered the greatest of all friendships. Others have brainwashed you into thinking that this is the rule because it happens to them as well. There should not be any hurt between a husband and wife. It may happen in other relationships.
PUNISHMENT FOR OBSTINACY
Questioner: When we have conflicting opinions with our friends or with our family and when things do not go our way we get angry. Why do we become angry? What should we do about it?
Dadashri : Why do you even think about having your
Anger
own way? What would happen if everyone did as they pleased? Instead you should think what would happen if everyone around you were stubborn and unyielding. You should never try to make things go your way. If you do not have any expectations, you will not go wrong. Anyone with expectations can be stubborn if he wants to. This is how you should look at it.
23
Questioner: No matter how hard we try to remain silent, what should we do when the men get angry?
Dadashri If you want to start a quarrel, then you should also get angry. If not, then you should just remain silent.
What use is anger to you? The person himself does not get angry. Anger is the effect of a "mechanical adjustment", which is why he later regrets it and wishes it never happened.
Questioner: What should I do to calm him?
Dadashri When a machine gets too hot, you must leave it alone for a while and in a short time it will cool down. But if you keep meddling with it, you will get burnt.
Questioner My husband and I get into terrible arguments and we also say hurtful things to each other. What should I do?
Dadashri : Is he the one who gets angry or is it you?
Questioner: Sometimes I do.
Dadashri Then you should scold yourself from within. Ask yourself why you are getting angry when you
