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________________ daMpatIjIvananA dastAvejI patro [ 36 ] zrI. IndulAla yAjJika kevaLa gujarAtanA ja sevaka nathI, paNa te viziSTa rASTrIya sevakAmAMnA eka asAdhAraNa che. temaNe potAnI AtmakathA lakhavA mAMDI che. teno bIjo bhAga paNa prasiddha thaI gayA che. jeNe jeNe e bhAgA vAMcyA haze te badhA AgaLanA bhAgeAnI ati utkaMThApUrvaka rAha joI rahyA ro ema mane lAge che, 'gRhamAdhurI mAM e baMne bhAge vize lakhavuM prastuta nathI, ane atyAre huM eTale svastha paNa nathI. ' ' paraMtu khIjA bhAgamAM zrI. indubhAInA daMpatIjIvana upara prakAza nAkhatA je bhAga Ave che te vize gRhamAdhurI 'nAM vAcaka-vAcikA samakSa kAMIka lakhavAnu mana thaI Ave che. ema te zrI. indubhAI e pote ja peAtAnA lagnajIvana vizenI, ghaNAne mATe ajJAta evI, samasyA upara ' lagnajIvananI vedanA ' e mathALA nIce Ardra-karuNa vANImAM potAnuM nikhAlasa hRSTa ThAlavyuM che, je emanI saccAInA amara dastAveja banI rahe che. tethI e vize atre mAre kazuM vizeSa kahevuM nathI. kahevuM hAya to te eTaluM ja ke vAMcI ane samajI zake evA badhA ja gujarAtI bhASA jANunArAe te vAMcevicAre. mukhyatve atre je kahevuM che te te emanAM sadgata patnI bahena kumudanA e ja bhAgamAM prasiddha thayelA e patrA vize. A e patrA dupatIjIvananI AyaM nArInA hRdayamAM kevI pratiSThA che enA amara dastAvejo che. kumudanA sukumAra hRdayamAMthI nItaratI patiniSThA emAM vyakta thAya che. eka RSikalpa kavie uccAyu che. ke--mana mA saMzatam . te kumudanA jIvanamAM tatAtaMta dekhAya che. RSinA vaktavyanA bhAva e che ke Ayatva e guNusiddha che, nahi ke janmasiddha; ane tenu vyavahAramAM anubhavI zakAya evuM ekamAtra svarUpa e che ke A ke AryonI saMgati kadI jarAjIrNa thatI nathI--sadA ekasarakhI jIvaMta rahe che. kumudanA ane patro paikI ekeeka vAkaya enA AnArItvanA purAvA che. AvI sahaja ce!gyatA dharAvanAra kumuda indubhAI jevA sahRdaya sevAbhAvI puruSa dvArA kema upekSA pAmI haze e prazna vAcakane mUjhave che kharA. ene uttara zakuntalAnA AkhyAnamAMthI nathI maLato? zakuntalAne
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________________ daMpatIjIvananA dastAvejI patro | 100 durvAsAne zApa hatuM, te kAraNe duSyanta tene vIsarI gayo ema kAlidAsa kahe che. ahIM kumudane e kaI zApa sparyo nathI. te pachI aMtara zuM akAraNuM ja UbhuM thayuM ? nA, kArya vinA kAraNe kema thAya? zrI. indubhAI pite ja ekarAra kare che ke temane navA jamAnAnI cabarAka nArIne svane kAmaNuM karyuM hatuM. AvA koI bhAve ja temanA sahRdaya hRdayane adaya banAvyuM, paNa pelI kumuda te AvA jIvaleNa saMkaTa vakhate paNa snigdha, sahadaya ane sadaya rahI. eNe potAnA baMne patramAM je udAtta ane udAra vRti rajU karI che temAM mane pitAne te sItA ane draupadInAM hRdayanuM ajaba mizraNa lAge che. te indubhAIne vInave che, page paDe che, paNa vaLI svamAnathI prerAI ucca bhAvanAvaza koI sthULa dayAnI mAgaNI nathI karatI. jyAre te lakhe che - tamArI rUDhi pramANe paraNelI patnI tamArI ja che. koI kALe, jIva jatAM, AtmA UDI jatAM bIjAnI thavAnI nathI ja. bhale tame nA cAhe, bhale tame amArA snehane tiraskAre, paNa amAre dharma che ke tamane cAhavuM. ane te khAlI nahi, AtmAnA tAra saMdhAya tevI ja rIte." (pahele patra) "saMsAranA jIvanamAM meMca brahmAnA bhaNakAra sUNavA prayatna karyo che, karuM chuM. mAruM jayAnI joga-sAdhanAmAM jIvana jAya. nirdaya banI hRdayane kacaruM chuM. hRdayamAM bhInAza, kamaLatA prabhue kAM jherI haze ? asthimaya ene kAM na banAvyuM ?" (bIje patra)-tyAre tenuM mAnasa kevA ucca AdarzamAM vicatuM haze ane indubhAIne jhaMkhatuM haze enI kalpanA ja karavI rahe che. zarUAtamAM kumuda zuM bhaNI haze, kevuM bhaNI haze, kevI taiyArI haze, vagere vize mArA jevuM kazuM nathI jANatuM, paNa ene be pa eTaluM te kahI jAya che ke tenAmAM jema sakumArya ane AryanArItva alaikika hatuM tema tenAmAM samajaNa, viveka, sevAnI bhAvanA ane puruSArtha paNa adbhuta hatAM. je e mAtra sItA hatA te maunapUrvaka pRthvImAM vilaya pAmata, paNa enAmAM dvapadInuM khamIra paNa hatuM. tethI ja teNe khAnadAna kuTuMbanA strIsahaja lajajAzIla hRdayanI maryAdAonuM atikramaNa karI kaThora pratIta thayelA patine udezI, kyAreka vizvanI rAjasabhAmAM saMbhaLAya evAM premALa chatAM mArmika veNa dropadInI peThe uccAya che. kharI rIte kumudanA e Arya-ugAre jyAre meDa meDe paNa zrI. IndubhAIne saMbhaLAyA tyAre temanuM saMvedanazIla hRdaya hacamacI UyuM ane e hRdaya kaThora bhaTI komaLa banyuM. kamaLatAnA e ja
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________________ darzana ane ciMtana vaheNe temanI pAse "lagnajIvananI vedanA "nuM AtmalakSI prakaraNa lakhAvyuM. rAme sItA mATe valopAta karyo hato e te ApaNe parokSa rIte vAlmIkinI vANImAM sAMbhaLIe chIe, tyAre indulAla yAjJikane A vilApa ApaNuM mATe pratyakSa che. paNa A AkhI karuNa ghaTanAmAM mane je eka saLaMgasUtra satya dekhAya che te che kumudanI vivekI AryabhAvanA, bhale e e ja bhAvanAmAM murajhAI ane sukAI gaI, paNa te eka smaraNIya Adarza mUkatI gaI. paNa puruSa pakSe zuM ?" A eka prazna A jamAnAmAM thAya. zuM adyApi e koI puruSa che je patnIghele nahi paNa patnI pratye vaphAdAra hoya, AryuM hoya ane patnI taraphanI samagra bhAve upekSA chatAM te enA pratye mAtra dAMpatya bhAvanAthI ekaniSTa rahyo hoya ? AnuM udAharaNa bahurUpa jagatamAM durlabha nathI, paNa ene yathArtha purA zodhavAnuM kAma saheluM paNa nathI. kahevAya che ke puruSa patnI pratye vaphAdAra hoya te chevaTe enA viyogamAM rAmanI peThe bIjuM lagna na karatAM mUre, paNa e pitAnI sahacarIne kumudanI peThe sarvArpaNanI bhASAmAM ajapAjApa te na ja kare. -gRhamAdhurI, mArca 1956.