Spiritual Code and Restraints

Author(s): Manu Doshi
Publisher: Manu Doshi

Page 32

Attachment results from attraction that usually arises because males perceive beauty in females and are attracted towards them. The question to be considered here is whether attractiveness of female is factual or it is simply a fancy of males. When we look around us, we notice that the male elephant is more attractive than his female, the lion is more attractive than the lioness, the peacock is more attractive than the peahen, the rooster is more attractive than the hen, the male sparrow is more attractive than his female and so on. If these are the phenomena at large, how can a human male be less attractive than a human female? Why does the man feel that his other half is more attractive? Can it not merely be a reflection of his own attraction that he perceives in the mirror of his beloved?
Moreover, a girl perceived as attractive by one man may be perceived as unattractive by another. How does it happen? Had there been inherent attractive features and if the viewers had an identical perceiving capability, every viewer would perceive the same degree of attractiveness. But the attraction remains subjective instead of objective. There is therefore a reason to believe that the attraction of a man for a particular woman should be the outcome of his own perception, not a matter of fact. Here, we are not out to pass any judgment over the beauty of women. The intention is simply to analyze the phenomenon of perception.
Take another instance. A man gets enamored of the lovely hairs of his girl-friend. He cannot stop lavishing praises for that. If the girl is by his side, he would not miss the opportunity to touch her hair. But if her hair happens to come in his mouth with the food, he perceives that very hair as irritating. He may even feel like vomiting. Why does his perception of nicety for the same hair disappear? Besides, his perception of beauty and attraction for the same girl does not remain constant. It changes with the time and place. It is also noteworthy that the nature of attraction that a man feels for his girl friend, is totally different from that felt by the father or brother of the same girl. These factors lead to the conclusion that the attraction is a matter of perception.
Now let us take the aspect of the pleasure being derived from touch. Suppose, we are traveling in a crowded train and feel the push of someone from behind. While peeping back, if we perceive a young girl behind us, we may not feel the pinch of the push but may actually experience a sense of pleasure. If, however, we properly look behind and find that the push comes from a male, our sense of pleasure would disappear. This makes it clear that the touch itself was not pleasurable. It was the sensation associated with the touch that gave the pleasure and when the cause for the sensation was gone, the pleasure also disappeared.
To take another example, if a man happens to touch a sensitive part of his girl-friend, both of them would feel an exciting sensation. But when the same girl breast-feeds her infant son, she would not feel such excitement. Similarly, if a doctor happens to touch a girl for medical check up, neither of them would experience excitement. It is also possible that a man happening to touch even the footwear of a girl sitting by his side may derive a sensation of pleasure. But if the same footwear lies somewhere in his way, he may not feel any sensation by trampling over it or even by removing it with his hand!