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The Tradition
Brahmin Deosharma was enlightened Gautam was returning to the Lord, having succeeded in his mission. He was happy He anticipated how he would report to the Lord the fulfilment of his mission The Lord must know it intuitively and still he wanted to submit it to him. To blast his fancy the word was revealed to him that the Lord had attained deliverance.
He was numb He was unmoved and speechless it was a stunning blow It was beyond his imagination that he would miss his company at this long last while he followed him like a shadow all his life The torment of bereavement was less poignant than the idea that he could not be with him at the final moment of consummation, at the moment of Nirwana.
He grew maudlin, addressing the Lord, 'My Lord'! You betrayed me Why should you have sent me on the errand to edify Deosharma when you were to leave your earthly abode? Why couldn't we do it a few days hence? Was not my love a one-sided affair? My love was not requitted It is too plain How long can such a love last? It was to be snapped some day You jilted me although I was your watchdog for years and years You were pleased to leave me thus wailing and left for your infinite journey'
For a while he was unaware of himself and his surroundings. He regained himself and thought- endeavour to