Sahajanandaghana Gurugatha

Author(s): Pratap J Tolia
Publisher: Vardhaman Bharati International Foundation

Page 23

I used to go to have a 'darshan' of Krishna daily, used to listen stories now and then and used to get fascinated in the miracles regarding the Avataras and believed him to be the Lord Supreme, so that I had a deep desire to see his place of residence. A desire used to catch hold of me that how nice would it be if I may be a religious head (a 'mahanta of the Lord's sect), may be performing 'Harikatha' (the Lord's story) with miracles from place to place and may be a . renounced sage. Morever, when I come across some wealthy ad glorious person, I desired to be a powerful wealthy and wordly person.
"In the meanwhile, I had gone thorugh a book named 'Pravin Sagar' I could not follow it well, but I longed that how pleasant state would it be to be happy with different pleasures pertaining to woman (or sex) and may with the listening of devotional stories.
"I had firmly adopted the principle and preaching regarding the creator of the Universe as mentioned in the school - books or the Vernacular readers in Gujarati language series. Because of this, there was very much hate in me for the Jains. 'Nothing regarded the Jainas (who were against this who did not accept any one as the creator of the universe) as foolish and ignorant. Moreover, I did notice the religious practices of the people unfaithful of idleworship. As I found these practices to be filthy, I feared from them, it clearly meant that I did not like the same.
"The Banias of my birth-place had no faith in idolworship inspite of their different tribal-faiths; and I had to be in their contacts. People used to regard me as a genious and a popular student of the town from the very beginning. As such, I deliberately used to present myself in such companies and to exhibit my smart ability. They aften used to pass sarcastic remarks and. criticise me lightly for my 'Kanthi', but I used to argue with them and tried to convince them.
"But gradually, I came across their books like "Pratikraman Sutra" etc. Where in friendship with all the souls of the Universe has been aimed at with great devotion and modesty. As such, my faith and liking in the same as well.
"This contact got increased day by day. Still however, I had faith in 'The creator of the Universe' and I preferred cleanliness and other traditional ways of living of the Vaishnavas. In the meanwhile, my kanthi got broken , so I did not tie it up again. I had not found any reason of tying it or not at that time".
In this way, Shrimad Rajchandra got fully acquainted and mixed with Jainism up to the age of thirteen. His remotely deattached mind used to tend more and more towards Jainism full of renunciation inspite of Vaishnavas cult full of wordly sensual pleasures. He writes about this:
"There is no real peace of our soul, where there may be the preaching of enjoying women or sex, where there may be the teaching of wordly wealth and where there may be the indication of the 'eat drink and be marry' type of extract for the enjoyment of colourful wordly pleasures.