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become upset with myself. Whether the other person becomes unhappy or not, I am already unhappy now. I want to be happy but I am taking the wrong approach." Somebody did something to upset you, but why are you doing more wrong to yourself by becoming angry? That person did harm, but you are doing double harm to yourself, and the hurt increases and deepens in your consciousness.
When you are aware, you try to understand why it happened. You start using the energy to remove the cause of the hurt, that which has caused anger, rather than being angry, fighting outside, and losing connection with the cause. Here there is no suppression, but seeing the cause which made you unhappy and angry, you free yourself.
Suppose a person spoke rudely to you. If you take that anger with you, then you will spoil your day. You have to deal with this rudeness, so you talk to the person and quietly and gently tell him what you are thinking. If this approach does not work, then you decide whether you want to keep your relation with that person or not. You think, “If this is the way he feels, then we cannot go a long way together. We are not going to help each other. So it is better to stop here." In this way, in each situation you stop to see yourself in the light of non-violence, rather than taking negative emotions inside which you have to work to rid yourself of later on.
From here we go to the other four principles-nonstealing, non-lying, celibacy and not hoarding things.
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