Jain Study Center NC Raleigh 1997 11 YJA Regional Convention

Author(s): Jain Study Center NC Raleigh
Publisher: USA Jain Study Center NC Raleigh

Page 97

I began questioning the whole idea of disciplining the body with fasts when my friend asked me what is the purpose of making my body uncomfortable. I had read about the life of Mahavir in that beautiful illustrated red book that you kept in our home temple. While you prayed, I had read. But now, I wondered, is it right for me?, How much fasting and discipline?, What did I really believe? I stayed vegetarian, but stopped fasting.
My teenage questioning and rebellion were peaking, at just the time when we had to move for Dad's job, forcing you to quit your job. I wasn't used to your being home. We had a lot of conflict about small matters: keeping my room clean, helping you with other housework, wearing appropriately dressy clothes to Indian functions, not engaging in constant low-level warfare with my brother. We had creative conflict over the way we would word the Jain stories that we taught to the small community of Jain children in our new town.
I am sorry for the violence in our family. I am still uncomfortable with the physical discipline (spanking, and sometimes harder than a little slap), that was used, surely motivated by anger and frustration as much as a desire to teach proper behavior. There were many sides to this problems. I lacked consideration for you, depressed as you were about having to stay home after an impressive education and a good job (Not that I ever had been considerate, when you were strained with family and work responsibilities together). We don't like remembering those times, but I want us all to try to translate our nonviolence into our interpersonal relationships as well as our dietary habits.
When I went to college, the daily family interactions ended. I felt free, and while I loved talking to you and Dad on the phone, frankly did not miss home until well into my second year. I saw other Indian girls spring into relationships with guys. They were like rubber bands stretched back too far with the social restrictions of home, let loose with a force. I considered the possibilities but didn't want to get involved in a relationship with someone who couldn't possibly understand the way I thought. I identified with the Jain reason to avoid alcohol, to remain in control of my mind and senses. Though I went to some parties early on, my disgust at having alcohol spilled on me, loud music that I didn't enjoy and no real interaction led me to avoid other such gatherings.
When I came home during a vacation, you took me to Siddhachalam for a puja that you wanted to attend. Simultaneously, there was an animal rights conference there, which I chose to investigate instead (Little did you know where you led me...).
As I went around the tables and listened, I learned that they considered milk and eggs as violently produced food. This was entirely new to me. I read literature that described how both the chickens and cows endure miserable lives that ended in slaughter. Both eggs and milk production require pregnancy, forced on an industry schedule, with "production" bolstered by hormones. The animals live in crowded conditions, bearing the emotional suffering of having chicks and calves taken away from the mother animals.
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Jain Education Interational