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104
JAINA STORIES
forth a stern warning that if he was not yet prepared to move out, he must get ready to face immense difficulties. So. with great reluctance, Metarya gave up the life of a householder and courted the life of a monk.
"Although Metarya had put on the monk's white robe he was not mentally prepared for it At times, he blamed the god and at times, he blamed his own ill-luck A deep lust for life always pulled him back and blocked bis way to penance and restraint He observed that his fellow monks happily moved from village to village and lived in an enviroment of total detachment What to speak of enjoying physical comforts, the monks lived far away from them They were always immersed in studies, meditation, penance and philosophical discussions. Metarya observed all this everyday He was now by force a part of this austere environment and he had no courage to express bis dissent or disapproval of it to anyone. But slowly he began to change and was swallowed up by this new environment He started realising that he had too great a craving for life but that his fellow monks were free from this craving They had no attachment and they did not seek physical comfort. Penance was their perpetual pleasure restraint was their constant companion. Their area of contentment was very wide In contrast with them, he always felt small,
"Censure has its positive aspect, Metarya felt a great change overtaking him. He was now firmly rooted in the life of a monk Away forced on him now became a part of him He limited his requirements and his attachment slowly changed into ahimsa Many years passed in this way During these years, Metarya mastered the scriptures and practised many severe penances Due 20 extreme hardship, his body became lean and ematiated. In the proportion his physical power went down, his spiritual power grew bnghter and this power was reflected in his deeds
