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YOUTH
Dear Aunties,
My sister is getting married next spring and her groom-to-be is not a Jain. This means that there will be a mixture of cultures at the wedding, which
I think will be fun but my sister is worried about how the food is going to be organised - her fiancé is from a family of big meat
eaters. Any advice?!
Nervous in Nairobi
This issue a trio from Texus takes on your troubles
FEATURED AUNTIES:
When we choose to marry outside of our religion, race or culture, we must be prepared to COMPROMISE, COMPROMISE and COMPROMISE! I hope this helps you and your family out in the situation, and good luck at your sister's wedding. Jayant Pragyaji and Sanmati Pragyaji
Dear Nervous, Congratulations! Marriage is such a special event! I see that there could be a slight problem with the wedding, but there are two things that can be done as a compromise. First, try to make the groom understand your position in the religion you follow. Jains are strict vegetarians and as a child you were brought up in a family, where you were taught that all animals are like humans; we don't kill them, let alone eat them. But remember that food is not the main aspect of the wedding. It is a secondary thing to the actual marriage itself. You are getting blessings from family and friends, so concentrate on that instead of the food. Remember the wise proverb: "We eat to live, not live to eat.
Nisha Gosar
Dear Nervous, Congratulation on the occasion of your sister's wedding!
Sanmati Pragyaji
If this doesn't work, then you can come to a mutual understanding as the second option. Maybe the bride and her family pay for the vegetarian dishes while the groom and his family pay for the non-vegetarian dishes. By doing this, both the bride and the groom are satjsfied and the bride stands firm in her beliefs yet she is compromising with her groom. Though this may be against her traditional beliefs, she must remember that interfaith marriages are about compromise. It is not fair and not in accordance with the Jain principle of anekantvada to tell the groom his ways and beliefs are wrong; we must remember that he grew up thinking these things were right just as we grew up thinking our ways were right.
From my point of view, I see a small problem that can easily be solved. Being brought up in a Jain family, it is hard to disagree with the Auntie's opinion towards this situation. My question to you all is - why is it important to care so much for something so small? Yes, people do wonder what they will eat, but the majority of the people I know attend a wedding only due to the fact that it is an important journey from being single to family life. I am not saying, that everybody is alike, but please think about this. So tell your sister to relax about what they are going to eat at the wedding, and instead to concentrate on the more important things. Continue to stand up for your beliefs and religion and everything will fall into place. Just wait and see. Good luck at the wedding! Nisha Gosar
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