Jain Spirit 2004 03 No 18

Author(s): Jain Spirit UK
Publisher: UK Young Jains

Page 43

ROUGH GUIDE TO PARENTING
Saarika Shah offers up some tips for parents - from within the ranks
of the millennium generation
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Listen to Us
Jainism teaches us about equality between souls and the value of appreciating differences. Often, you as parents tell us what to do and how to do it, and although we understand that the advice you give is beneficial to us, it is equally important to listen to our point of view and opinions. There is no need to feel threatened if we disagree with you - it's just a sign that we are growing into independent young adults!
Lead by Example
Parents often give advice to us, children, but in order for it to be an effective advice you, parents, must lead by example. For instance: we attend prayers at the temple, and if you come with us then and discuss what we have learnt and the reasoning for some of the rituals, we are more likely to take an active role in learning about Jainism.
Spend Quality Time with Us
We understand that you as parents and adults are often very busy with work, with family or social commitments. However, without realising it, you sometimes are unable to devote enough time to us in our most formative years. We feel it is essential that you sit down and talk with us, your children, simply to find out how our day was, or if we had any problems or anxieties. This doesn't just apply to you spending time with your children, but also with other members of your family.
Let Us Learn from Our Own Mistakes
We are often advised and informed by our elders of the consequences of our actions, but sometimes we have to experience the results of our actions to realise the gravity of the mistake, and so making the learning impact far greater. We need your loving support as we grow up, but don't wrap us up in cotton wool - let us learn about life first hand, we are resilient enough to bounce back from our falls.
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Adapt to Our Generation
Not everything that we, young people, growing up in the 21st century experience is similar to the things you did when you were growing up. For example, there is greater emphasis on education and its impact in the workplace or our desire to live independently. Therefore sometimes you must take this into account when you interact with us.
Help Us Understand Jainism
By educating and answering our questions, you will enable us to raise our interest and further our knowledge about Jainism. We may have learnt certain rituals and we may practise them through habit, but often we are unaware of their true meanings and their importance in our everyday lives, so explain them to us and help us appreciate them more fully.
Respect Us
Even though we are younger than you and we know we must always show respect towards our elders, we would also like to have respect shown to us - so please don't talk down to us or laugh at us when we make mistakes.
Saarika Shah is a member of Young Jain Students and studies at UMIST in Manchester, England.
Illustrated by Mike Turner
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