Jain Spirit 2003 12 No 17

Author(s): Jain Spirit UK
Publisher: UK Young Jains

Page 38

MIRROR INTO FORGIVENESS
nuo
Ann McCoy describes her personal journey alone towards expressing forgiveness through art
To
ART & LITERATURE
A
UGUST OF 2000, MY DOG MORGAN HAD JUST died, the art world with its meaningless commercialism was weighing me down and India beckoned. It had been my dream to visit Ajanta and Ellora, so a friend mentioned Professor Walter Spink who had spent fifty years doing the definitive study of the caves. Prof. Walter Spink is a generous man who delights in showing the sites; so he suggested I come but first stop in Bombay to see the caves at Elephanta for historical comparison.
For me the monsoon rains act as a kind of 'solution', an alchemical term which means a state when the fixed elements in the psyche are put into a kind of dissolve and allowing the new to come in. This process has its own mystery in the life of each soul, and seems to act upon us without our volition. Coming back from Elephanta, I was drenched in a downpour. I was freezing wet and looking for shelter, when a cab driver became my guide for the next chapter in my life. In such times of flux mysterious guides come and we are taken to places we cannot imagine, psyche and spirit beckon and we follow.
36
First the cab driver took me to the house of Gandhi. His library with the books on so many religions touched me. Here was a Hindu with an extensive Muslim library. Small dioramas showed his march of non-violent protest. Last but not least, there were the copies of his correspondence with Tolstoy. I was so impressed that I later read Tolstoy's writings on non-violence. Our second stop was at a large Jain temple. I had never heard of Jainism, but stayed in the temple for the next five hours. I had never felt such peace in any temple precinct. The Jain caves at Ellora, the Jain shrine nearby and a trip to Ranakpur sealed my fate. First, I spent time in the caves at Ellora. I walked to a tiny Jain shrine beyond the caves to watch the pooja each morning, and then went on to the caves to draw and photograph.
Later, I went to 'Rajasthan loop' with a driver who became my second mysterious guide. We stopped at Ranakpur. Again, I was transfixed in the temple, with the watchful Jinas. As I photographed a marble elephant, a poojari approached and said, "You are not like the others here.... come with me and sit and meditate." The experience was life changing, an inner sanctuary became actualized in an outer sanctuary, something
Jain Spirit December 2003 February 2004
that religious writers would call a 'peak experience'. He then suggested I contact the Jain centre in New York City where I met Gurudev Shri Chitrabhanu, which was to be a meeting with a great soul.
Through Gurudev Chitrabhanu I learned the importance of forgiveness, the meaning of karma and how to get rid of the negative particles which cling to our souls when we engage in hatred, resentment and negativity. His lectures and prayers became the foundation for more reading and practice. The memory of the Indian temples made me long for an actual Jain practice. I looked up 'Jain' in the Queen's telephone directory and went to the tiny Jain temple in Elmherst. At first, I felt inept as their only non-Indian member. Arvind Shah came to my aid. I went early in the day and he taught me how to wash the statues and make the sandalwood paste.
"Forgiveness Each day, I tried to focus on the pooja, be
eliminates negativity"
like a flower, have my words soothing like the sandalwood paste. The congregation have been wonderful, also helping me with stage whispers, and now I sit with the children sharing my English translations of various texts. The festival of Paryushan is for me the most important event of the Jain calendar. This confessional of releasing others and ourselves from all negativity and allowing our hearts to open is the key to all spiritual growth. In Jainism, a lifetime of negative conditioning, negative judgment and resentment is left by the kerb as we proceed onward.
60
Ka
02
The idea of doing no harm seems more important than ever in today's world with its mania for killing and militarism. In some way I wanted to bring this idea into my art making. An invitation to do an installation at Majdanek, near Lublin, where I am a curator for an interfaith museum, provided the opportunity.
Majdanek, a former Nazi concentration camp in Poland, where 235 thousand perished, is for me a place where one encounters incomprehensible darkness. As an artist I try to be a light bringer. All my work over a thirtyyear period has been involved with the idea of reconciliation and spiritual transformation. An artist, like a shaman who somehow shifts and transforms the darkness found in