Jain Journal 1985 04

Author(s): Jain Bhawan Publication
Publisher: Jain Bhawan Publication

Page 45

APRIL, 1985
145
“My brothers and sisters standing nearby could not give me any comfort.
"I had a beautiful wife. I was to her like god. Her love and devotion for me were boundless. She used to look after me day and night. It seemed as if we were one soul. She was my better half in the true sense of the term. Without caring for food, clothing, sleep, perfumes or jewellery, she constantly remained near my bed. Her stem like arms always used to encircle me, her petal like fingers always used to caress me. Her fawn like eyes were always fixed on my face. Her thick black tresses always shadowed over me. And my heart was always soaked by her tears of true love.
“But O king! Even my wife could not share my suffering. And then I realised that the deepest of worldly affection and love could not give protection which is needed in life. Every object, every person in this world is unprotected. No one can give support to the other.
"One night my pain became so acute that I almost saw my death gripping my body. The last drop of tear of my beloved wife fell on my lip and dried by the heat. At that moment I felt trully unprotected in the true sense of the term. The dark night of final separation decended inside. And at that very moment something awoke within my self.
"Then I took a vow silently, if at the end of the night my pain abates I will renounce the world.
"Oh beloved of the gods! Almost instantaneously with the vow my pain began to subside like the abating water of the tide. And at the break of dawn I felt that my pain has totally gone...I have become completely cured...And with the first rays of the sun I left the palace turning a deaf ear to the wailing of my beloved and my relatives.'
For a few moments there was complete silence. After that Srenika asked,
"Oh monk! Have you got protection after that ? Are you now completely protected ?"
"I gave myself totally at the feet of Sramana Bhagavan Mahavira. The mirror of Kevala was in front of me. I saw my trueself in it for the first time. I knew myself. I am now protected."