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Aptavani-9
38
Aptavani-9
Dadashri: All this is nothing but obstinacy on the path to moksha and that is why the worldly life continues to perpetuate; that is why people cannot attain moksha. Otherwise, your liberation is at hand right here only! Obstinacy is the wall of obstruction to liberation. The obstinacy is still there; a bundle of sheer obstinacy; that is what he is! He will do only what he wants to. That is called tragu - manipulative tantrum
Questioner: Is making another person do what you want, considered part of obstinacy (aadayee)?
Dadashri: Then what else? If it is not obstinacy (aadayee) than what is it? One gets his way through becoming upset and noncompliant. If not then ultimately through a manipulative tantrum (tragu) one will have his or her way. One may even end up throwing a tragu to have his own way. Have you ever seen a tragu? You will get a fever if you saw one. If someone does a tragu, your temperature will rise three degrees even if you do not have a fever!
Questioner: What is a tragu?
Dadashri: Tragu means a person does whatever is necessary to scare you into accepting his or her own way. That person will do anything to make you accept his will. He will bang his head on the wall, hit this or that part on the wall, jump around, cry loudly, wail, throw a tantrum etc. That which completely scares us from all angles is a tragu.
Questioner: What is the difference between doing a tragu and pretending?
Dadashri: Whether one is pretending or throwing a manipulative tantrum (tragu), he is doing it in order to get his own way.
If everyone is sitting down for dinner and one person says, 'I am not going to eat' - he is an important person in the
party and his stance is one that creates apprehension in the party; that is called a tragu. The caring people around him will say, 'Please come and join us, we would like your company. They will feed him. But if they were to ignore him, he would eat on his own. No one has starved to death. That is not a tragu - manipulative tantrum
Questioner: Someone locks himself in a room when he gets upset. Everyone else in the home becomes restless but he will not open the door. Is that a tragu?
Dadashri: That is not a tragu. That is obstinacy (aadayee); tragu is a different thing.
Questioner: Is it a tragu when one pounds his fists on his chest or bang his head on a wall?
Dadashri: When people bang their heads, some of it is aadayee and some of it is a tragu. The word tragu is something very different; in a tragu the one doing the tragu is not affected by it at all. In aadayee, that person continues to experience internal suffering. Simply put, tragu is pure acting! Locking one's self in a room is obstinacy. In a tragu, the person cries and shouts but remains unperturbed from within. Locking one's self in a room and scaring family members is all obstinacy. She suffers and makes others around her suffer too. In a tragu, she herself is not affected and yet she does a tragu; that is tragu! We need a definition, do we not? Surely you cannot label any action as a tragu, can you? Keep your distance from manipulative
tantrum (tragu) Tragu does tremendous damage. Questioner: Can you explain tragu with an example?
Dadashri: Can you not tell when someone is doing a tragu? You may not know how to do a tragu but can you not tell when someone is doing it?