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friend consoled me saying not to hesitate as we were supposed to learn biology in future by this way only. Now contempt towards violence started diminishing and I also had inserted the nails into the legs of a living frog. O Gurudev!, what should I say? I never thought about the trouble and misery suffered by that creature. I became insensitive by splitting his heart. Oh no! Just because of dissecting improperly, I had cut another frog. Later on I started buying frogs only to slaughter them. Oh no! Numerous living creatures were killed by me during my life span. When will I get rid of all these sins? One of the souls was hanged to death only for killing a louse, then, how many times will I be hanged to death?
Oh Gurudev! you are my only saviour. A grave incident occurred during my school life at the age of 16 years. Remembering it, I feel giddy and ashamed. I was going for tuition to a lady teacher. One day, she couldn't control her senses and hugged me tightly. I
too couldn't control myself. Thus at a very young age I was trapped in a great sin. How can one save himself in such a situation? I have completely blackened my life like a coal. O Lord! How unfair it is to commit physical relationship with teacher! What will happen to my dirty soul?
Later on, I entered in the college life. Here my sins of violence would have increased by leaps and bounds, but I was unsuccessful in gaining better marks and thus couldn't get admission in science and took admission in Commerce.
Here, I got an open field to fulfill and nurture my inclinations. My parents were satisfied by thinking that I was studying. But, after attending a period, I escaped for movies with my girlfriend. An evil thought took birth in my mind that one is considered intelligent only if he has a girlfriend. I was misusing or taking disadvantage of the pocket money provided by my parents. I started trapping many girls by
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4...Confession: The Path to Self-liberation
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