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What will happen to my soul?
experience of becoming a secret witness of my elders enjoying physically which resulted into attraction towards it. Later on, I started enjoying touching small innocent children while playing with them. Thereafter while playing either 'Kho Kho' or 'Carrom', nurture and satisfaction of this inclination became my prime objective. I became fond of touching hands etc of the children of opposite gender under any pretext or excuse. Under the guise of fun and jesting, the fire of inclination was startling continuously within me. What more should I say Gurudev! I don't have enough courage to admit but I am upset by the series of sins.
O Gurudev! I have realized from your speech that if I do not remove dirt from the drain of soul, the fragrance of worship will also become full of filth. One can be relieved even from the tumor of cancer by undergoing surgery but if a small thorn is not removed from the body, it becomes a cause of septic and even death. Hence, it is not possible to gain peace unless the sins are confessed. I will have to overcome from shame or disgrace otherwise I shall be more dreadful.
During the age of 8-9 years, I became victim of the company of a wrong person, who took me to multiplexes at his expenses. Those vulgar scenes in the movie made me to stare at ladies with shamelessness. Thus, the sins of my heart increased in multiples. I was not able to control myself in looking at couples in gardens & parks. What will happen to my soul?
2...Confession : The Path to Self-liberation
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