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________________ sAco jaina [31] khare jene agara kharA jena banavA icchanAre zuM karavuM? ApaNI AjubAjunI paristhiti manamAM be vRttio utpanna kare che. dhArmika lAgaNI, rAjakIya svArtha athavA te lAMbo laukika svArtha ApaNane ema mAnavA lalacAve che ke tuM kAIthI vikhUTe na paData, nA laDate ane game tevA svArthane mArge paNa ektA sAcavavAnuM na cUkato. bIjI bAju kuLavAra, pUrvasaMskAre, kauTuMbika kSobho ane sAmAjika preraNAo dhaNIvAra ApaNane evI mAnyatA tarapha dhakele che ke svArtha na tyajAya, jarAye jatuM na karAya. ema jatuM karIe te cAle kema ? kuTuMbanuM kema nabhe ? nAta, dharma ne samAjanI pratiSThA kAMI jatI karAya ? zuM ApaNe tyAgI chIe ? AvA be daivI ane AsurI vRttinA pravAha mAtra vyApAra-vyavasAya, sattA, adhikAra ke sAre narase prasaMge ja nathI janmatA, paNa dharma jevI vizuddha ane svArpaNa sUcaka vastune prasaMge paNa AvuM athaDAmaNIvALuM bhaMyakara tophAna manamAM UThe ja che. je vidvAne ane tyAgIo game teTaluM sahIne paNa udAratA keLavavAnI zikSA Ape che te ja agragaNya gaNutA saMtapuruSo jyAre kharekhara svArpaNa karavAne ane udAratA keLavavAne kaTokaTIne prasaMga Ubhe thAya che tyAre majabUta ane makakamapaNe ema kahe che ke dharmanuM te apamAna sahAya ? dharmanI koI paNa vastu, pachI te sthAvara ja kema na hoya, jatI karAya? dharmanI saMsthA ane tenAM sAdhane je nahi sAcavIe to ane dharmanA hakkonI paravA nahi karIe te dharma kevI rIte raheze? A rItanI asmitA mAtra dharmaguruo ke paMDite ja nathI jagADatA, paNa je mAtApitA ke bIjA Aptajano nAnI uMmaramAM bAlakane udAra thavAnI, sahanazIla thavAnI ane namratA keLavavAnI tAlIma ApavA mATe hajAra rUpiyAno kharca karatA, dharmaguruo pAse bALakone samAgama mATe mekalatA ane Adarza zikSakane hAthe bALaka sudhare ema IcchatA hoya che, te ja mAtApitA ke bIjA AvA jene have yuvaka thayela bALakane vyAvahArika jIvanamAM nIti ke anItino mArga pasaMda karavAnI taka AvatAM, pAchA jANe ajANe ema kahetA hoya che ke -bhAI e te kharuM, paNa ApaNe eNe
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________________ 480 ], darzana ane ciMtana keTaluM apamAna karyuM ? bIjuM te badhuM jatuM karAya, paNa ApaNA hakanI ane bhagavaTAnI vastu (bhale te nAnakaDI ja kema na hoya ) ema kAMI anyAyathI jatI karAya? tuM ema namAla thaIza ane mUMge meDhe so jaIza te tane koI pUchavAnuM nathI, tAre ghaDe thavAnuM nathI ane kharekhara tuM bhIkha mAgIza ! * A ane AvI bIjI aneka rIte ApaNI sAme paraspara virodhI prasaMge Ave che--jenA pratyeka vyaktine evo anubhava thAya che -te vakhate dhArmika dRSTie, rAjakIya dRSTie ke bIjA vadhAre laukika hitanI dRSTie ApaNe udAratA keLavavI ane badhuM jatuM karI kharuM manuSyatva vikasAvavuM ke mane gata UMDA kusaMskAra ane svArthI saMkucita preraNAone vaza thaI anyAyI ane alpa paNa takALa lalacAvanAra svArtha tarapha dhasaDAvuM? udAratA vagere dharmanA uddezone mAtra sAMbhaLavAnA ja viSaya banAvI ApaNe haMmezane khela khelyA karavo e eka bhAre vicitra vastu che. hiMdu ane musalamAne ja nahi, brAhmaNa ane brAhmaNetare ja nahi, aspRzya ane spRzya gaNAtI kome ja nahi, paNa eka ja saMskRti, eka ja tattvajJAna ane eka ja dhyeyane vArase bhagavanAra evA zvetAmbara, digaMbara ke sthAnakavAsI phirakAo vacce jyAre haka ke mAnApamAna mATe marI phITavAne ke tenAM sAdhano mATe matabheda ke takarArane prasaMga na hoya tyAre udAratA keLavavAnI ane namra banavAnI taka apAtI ja nathI; paNa jyAre rasAkasIne prasaMga Ubhe thAya ne jIvanamAM dharma ke nIti dAkhavavAnI taka Ave tyAre comerathI dabANa thAya che ke tame bAyalA thaI gayA; tamane dharmanuM kazuM lAgatuM ja nathI, AvI rIte bedarakAra raheze te tamAruM ke tamAre dharmanuM nAma ke nizAna nahi rahe-ekatA ane udAratA dAkhavavAnA kharekhara kaTokaTInA prasaMge dharmanI rakSAne bahAne A rIte ApaNI asmitAne uzkeravAmAM Ave tyAre dharmane ja nAme apAyelA ane puSTa thayelA udAratAnA saMskAra agara ekAeka nAza na pAme te paNa vyAvahArika jIvanamAM utarI zake evA baLavAna te na ja rahe e dekhItuM che. paNa A devI ane AsurI-AMtarika ane bAhya, hacamacAvI mUke evI, ane ghaNAne ghaNI vAra taddana mUMjhavI nAkhe evI vikaTa paristhiti vacce je khare jaina hoya agara te khare dharmaniTa heya tema ja je te banavA IcchatA hoya teNe zuM karavuM e Ajane ati gahana prazna che. A praznane uttara ApoApa meLavI le eTalI buddhipaTutA ke saMskAritA Aje
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________________ sAce jaina [481 keTalAmAM jaNAya che ? ane je lekasamAja e praznano uttara Apo Apa meLavI levA samartha na hoya to lekoe ene khare uttara konI pAsethI meLava? je vidvAna gaNAto eka AgevAna amuka uttara Ape, bIje te AgevAna vaLI bIjo uttara Ape ane trIjo vidvAna trIje ja uttara Ape te prazna karatAM uttaranI gUMcavaNuM karoLiyAnA jALAnI piDe evI mUMjhavaNakAraka thaI javAnI ke temAM sapaDAyela dareka paMgu ja banI javAne. tyAre e ka mArga che ke jene AdhAre dareka mANasa eka ja sarakhe ane sAce uttara meLavI zake? je A kaMI eka bhAga na hoya ane hoya te kadI sUjhI zake te na hoya athavA mArga sUjhayA pachI paNa amalamAM mUkI zakAya ke jIvanamAM kAma lAvI zakAya tevo na ja hoya te pachI Aja sudhInI ApaNuM zAstro, dharmo ane gurunI upAsanA vaMdhya che. ane vadhya na ja hoI zake evuM je ApaNuM abhimAna sAcuM hoya agara sAcuM sAbita karavuM hoya te prastuta vikaTa praznane ekasarakhe, matabheda vinAne ane trikAlAbAdhita uttara ApI zake tevo mArga ane tevI kasoTI ApaNe zodhavI ja rahI. A mArga ane A kasoTI ghaNu sAtvika hRdayamAM spharatI haze tema ja jarAmAtra mahenatathI spharavAne saMbhava paNa che, mATe enuM spaSTIkaraNa karI dareka vAcakanI buddhisvataMtratA ane nirNayazakti ke vicArasAmarthyane gUMgaLAvI nAkhavA na IcchatAM dareka sahRdaya vAcakane e mArga ane e kaTa vicArI levA prArthanA che. tethI A lekha vAMcanAra dareka eTaluM jarUra vicAre ke kharA jene ane khare jaina banavA mATe (jyAre virodhI prasaMge upasthita thAya tyAre) zuM karavuM ane te kartavyanA nirNaya mATe sarvamAnya eka kaI kasoTI najaramAM rAkhavI ? - jenayuga, bhAdra-azvina 1983. 31