Book Title: Brahmachariji
Author(s): Manu Doshi
Publisher: Manu Doshi
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/007622/1

JAIN EDUCATION INTERNATIONAL FOR PRIVATE AND PERSONAL USE ONLY
Page #1 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ Brahmachariji Preface It is a pleasure that after writing the life of Laghuräjswämil have the opportunity to prepare the biography of Brahmachariji, whom I am holding in high reverence. For writing this I have mainly used the matter of Dr.Shantibhai Patel's book on the subject and have made necessary additions, alterations and adjustments. Main alteration consists of dividing the book in seven chapters and allocating the relevant particulars among them. The additions mainly relate to four places. I have slightly elaborated 'Sahajätma Swaroop' Mantra in chapter 2. Brahamchariji's letter to his brother being very significant in presenting his portrait, I have given almost the whole of it in a separate chapter entitled 'At Threshold'. Moreover, I have provided some details of Prajnavbodh and have presented the topic of Chitta Prasannata in right perspective. I hope that this small treatise would be helpful in getting a reasonable concept of the great man's life. Manu Doshi IN MEMORIAL Man Vachan Sharire Punya Sudhä Prakashe, Tribhuvan Pan Jenä Upakäre Vikäshe; Pargun-Parmänu Giri Jevä Gani Je, Nij Ur Vikasäve Sant Te Ketlä Chhe? How many saints could there be, who spread the wholesome ambrosia through mind, word as well as body, whose benevolence to the universe stands illuminated, who magnify the minor virtues of others and help in developing the same? Tadapi Kutil Kälgati Ati, Hari Lidhi Mati Sant-pichhänani: Patitpävan Sant Na Olakhyä, Amit Shanti Amiras Relatä. The adverse time, however, comes in the way of recognizing the saints. As such, we fail to recognize those, who purify the downtrodden and who have been showering the ambrosial rain of lasting peace. Sanätan Mooktino Märg Uddhäryo Je Krupälue, Bodhyo Sthäpyo Laghuräje, Vistaryo Apana Bale; Chhatäye Sarvathä Ap Shamäyä Santanä Pade, Gani Kain Nä Avajnäne, Kashto Ke Apamänane. The eternal path of liberation was revived by the graceful Lord Shrimad Rajchandra; it was taught and well set by Laghuräjswämi; and it was spread by you. You, however, stayed forever at the feet of Laghuräjswämi without being concerned for difficulty, disregard or disrespect. Kintu Sat Paramänande Zilyä Saune Zilävivä, Prabhubhaktibharyä Haiye, Pavitra Premmmoorti Hey: Amärä Sarvana Haiya Ujälo He Dayanidhi! Swikäro Anjali Sauni Samadhi-Bodhinä Nidhi. Oh, the pious abode of affection, you stayed in quietude and helped all in staying accordingly with heart overflowing with devotion. You are the fountain of compassion and ecstatic wisdom; we humbly pray to you to illumine our hearts. Life of Brahmachäriji Chapter 1: Early life Prabho Täre Jnäne Sahaj Jag Virät Lasatun, Prabho Täre Dhyane Man Param Yoginun Vasatun; Prabho Täre Päde Hraday Dhalatun Bhaktajananun, Prabho Täre Näme Durit Balatun Dushta Jananun. Page #2 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ Lord, the entire world reflects at ease in your knowledge; the mind of ascetic stays in contemplation of yours; the heart of a devotee bends at your feet; and evil of the wicked is consumed by reciting your name. Naväi Teni Kain Mam Taral Chitte Na Lasati, Naväi Santoni Param Sarala Moorti Vasati; Ure Säre Märe Tav Sakal Vibhooti Zilati, Sudhä-Jyotsnä Jene Vimal Nayane Divya Khilati. That does not surprise my agile mind. What is surprising is that there abides at my heart the pure simple image of the saint in whose untainted eyes blossoms the ambrosial light of all your esteem. Ane Yogi-Chitte Dyuti Marajiväni Vitarati, Krupä Santoni E Patit-Ur Shraddhä Jagavati; Ane Shraddhälune Ure Param Bhakti Khilavati, Naväi Sächi E Jiv-Shivtana Bhed Harati. The real surprise lies in the facts that the grace of saints provides divers' courage to the ascetics' heart, extends faith to the down-trodden, leads to the growth of true devotion at the heart of faithful and wipes out the gap between the soul and salvation. Aho. Anshe Shätä Thaki Pooran Siddhiya Sudhini, Samadhi Sarvenun Satpurush Chhe Käran Kharun: Chhatä Kain Na Spruhä Ur Garav Ke Gärav Nathi, Nathi Vä Unmattatä Nav Jariya Potapanun Thayun. Though saints are the true source of all achievements right from a little peacefulness to perfection, they do not have any desire, vanity, pride, ego or arrogance, nor do they have any sense of belonging. Prabho, Evä Santo Saral Adhik Täräthi Adakä, Krupälu, Detä E Tav Sharan Ashcharya-Pratima; Smrutithi Santoni Sakal Dukhanä Käran Gale, Sadä Sevä Chähun Samip Vasavä Sant-Pagale. Lord, such saints are simpler than you. They are the wonder-incarnate, because they guide to your resort. All sorts of unhappiness come to the end by remembering them. Let my aspiration be to stay at their feet. ***** The world knows very little about such rare saints; in fact, the world does not have the concept of secret miracles. Nature, however, does not fail to recognize their greatness and presents the same with various signals. This is evident from the fact that Brahmachäriji was born in Bändhani village on the birthday of Lord Krishna in 1889, and the name given to him was Gordhan (Govardhan). His father's name was Kälidås Dwärkädäs. He was religious-minded and had thrice gone on pilgrimage to Gokul-Mathurä. The first one he had undertaken on foot. He had an inclination to give donation for renovating the temple there. That inclination turned him towards renouncement and during the last pilgrimage he adopted the restraint of Marjäd, (Staying aloof). Thus he became alert prior to the death. In order to conserve what was possible from the midst of worldly fire, he stayed totally aloof from the family and spent the rest of life in devotion. Gordhan was now the source of consolation for mother Jitäbä. Having been born on the auspicious birth day of Lord Krishna and being peaceful and cheerful, she considered him a divine child. An astrologer once happened to confirm her belief. On seeing a birth-mark on the right knee of the boy the man predicted that he was destined to be a great man. The ascending mark on the boy's foot gave support to it. Wide forehead, dimples on the cheeks, heavy earlobes, wheaten complexion and smiling face gave the concept of greatness to his personality. Being peaceful, obedient, courteous, cheerful and straightforward, everyone liked him. He never quarreled with anyone, nor did he raise any dispute. He had a high sense of duty. Farming was the family occupation, and that entailed hard work. Even at the young age he realized that the entire burden of farming could not be left to the elder brother. As such, he extended utmost help to the brother, though he had to attend the school at Petläd, which was eight miles away. That affected his study; he failed in the annual examination and had to give up the school. Page #3 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ He had been married at the age of 13 a little after the death of his father. He had therefore acquired the sense of responsibility. When he noticed the aged farmers undertaking hard labor like animals, his delicate sense made him cry at times. He felt that it would be easier to handle the family responsibility, if he could study. He was therefore thinking to go back to school and was praying to God to enable him to resume the study. He was, however, hesitating to talk about it to his elder brother. Meanwhile a guest from a nearby village came to their place. As he asked why he was not going to school, Gordhan replied that he was keen to do so. Thereupon the guest asked Narsinhbhäi to send him to school. Accordingly he was readmitted to the school in the 5" grade, which was then known as English first grade. Since he did well in English test, he was promoted to the 6th grade. That time he had to stay in Petläd boarding, where Motibhäi Amin was in charge. Under his inspiration Gordhan undertook hard work and passed 6 and 7th grades within a year. The period lost by leaving the school was thus made good. While prosecuting the study his attention was drawn to the character-molding activities. The boarding life provided the facilities for reading and contemplating. Motivated by the ideals Motibhäi had accepted the life of a teacher instead of pursuing other profitable avocations. He freely used to talk to the students about the experience that he had gone through in molding his life and give them appropriate guidance. Moreover, he used to make right use of every moment and stay concentrated in the work. Straightforward, devout and truthful nature of Gordhan could make much progress in the presence of such an inspiring guide. Like Benjamin Franklin he prepared the time schedule for his activities and strictly adhered to it. He developed the habit of concentration to such an extent that he could do everything on time as planned. He prepared a list of good and bad habits and continually endeavored to develop the former and drop the latter. He willingly observed fasts for the sake of economy and the amount so saved was spent for paying for the tours or for buying the required school stationery. He did earn scholarships and cash awards, but that he used for extending help to other poor students. He was thus putting into practice Geetä's message of "Yogah Karmasu Kaushalam' (Performing the activities efficiently constitutes Yog.) During that time he also came in contact with Karunäshankar, who was known as an ideal teacher in Charotar area as well as in the teaching realm in general. Under his influence Gordhan came across the revolutionary writings of poet-thinker Känt. That helped in developing his notions and he was attracted towards the literary field. That led him to composing poems etc. After passing Matriculation (Secondary School) examination he joined Baroda Arts College for further study. There his punctuality and concentration in work had good impact upon others. He had realized that the time is invaluable. He considered the college life as the sacred period for gaining knowledge and did not waste even a minute. He therefore read and contemplated a lot while attending to regular college study. After passing the Intermediate (Sophomore) examination he once came to Petläd Boarding and saw the old friends there. Bhikhäbhai Patel was foremost among them. They had the dream of setting up an autonomous university. Since their Boarding life they had developed the concept of social service and of Indian independence. The political leaders of that time aspired to get independence by constitutional means. These youngsters, however, wanted to realize their dream by spreading education. As such, they wanted to get prepared for setting up the appropriate educational facilities. Since English language had the preeminence that time, they decided to join Wilson College at Bombay in order to gain sound knowledge of English. That was costly, yet Gordhanbhäi and Bhikhäbhäi spent two years there while undergoing lot of difficulties. In 1914 Gordhanbhai earned B.A. degree with English as the major. By that time he had gained so much command over English that his articles used to appear even in Times of India. His article on Joint Family System was rated outstanding. While returning from Bombay when the train arrived at Baroda, his mentor Motibhäi Amin and others had been to the Station in order to see him. Gordhanbhai was talking to them while standing at the door of his compartment. Meanwhile someone closed the door and the thumb of Gordhanbhai was ruptured. He did not say anything to that person and quietly bore the pain. The hurting was, however, serious and he had to be taken to a dispensary for treatment. Page #4 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ Since he had now been a graduate, his mother and the elder brother expected that he would secure the job of a high Govt. official. To Gordhanbhäi, however, Govt. employment amounted to slavery to British regime. Having developed great enthusiasm for securing the independence of India his concern for the family had gone down. During December 1914 a convention of the old students of Petläd Boarding was held in his native place at Bändhani. Under the inspiration of Motibhai Amin it was thought that if an institution like Charotar Education Society could be set up for uplifting that area, Gordhanbhäi, Bhikhäbhäi and Ambälälbhäi would volunteer to work for it. Since it was thereafter decided to set up the Society soon, Bhikhäbhai and Ambäläl joined the school service at Borsad from January 1915 and Gordhanbhäi at Vaso. There he was in charge of the tenth grade. By virtue of Motibhäi's inspiration the first kinder garden school of Gujarat was simultaneously set up at Vaso. There Gordhanbhäi arranged to impart education on Montesory basis. He even trained the teachers for that purpose. That being a new experiment in the education field, the people from far off places used to come for observing it. The experiment was so successful that Gijubhai Badhekä and others adopted it and started imparting similar type of education at many places in Gujarat. Within a year or two thereafter Charotar Education Society set up its headquarters at Anand and started its own school. In view of its requirement for voluntary teachers Gordhanbhäi left Vaso in 1919 and joined the service at Anand. He worked there as Headmaster of D.N. High school from 1919 to 1921. During his stewardship the school had gained 100% result at the then Matriculation examination. He behaved very kindly towards the students. He had instructed other teachers that if any student was at fault, they should not punish him immediately, but defer it to the next day. The purpose was that the emotion of the teacher would calm down by that time and the student would get the opportunity to repent. On some occasions it also helped in averting injustice. Moreover, it led to amicable relations between the teachers and the students. While teaching in the class he remained so absorbed that at times he failed to hear the bell signaling the termination of period. When he noticed that the teacher for the next period was waiting at the door, he would leave the class. His method of improving the students' habits was also unique. For the hostel students it was stipulated that they should wake up at day-break and finish the morning routine. There were no bathrooms at that time and the students had to take bath at the well. After taking bath some students used to leave the unwashed dhotis at the well. As that came to the notice of Gordhanbhäi, he washed the same and hanged them over the strings for drying. As this happened a couple of times, the students felt ashamed and changed their habit. Chapter 2: Initial Impact That time Mahatma Gandhi's movement of non-cooperation had spread in the entire country. Under his aegis Gujarat Vidyapeeth was set up at Ahmedabad for providing national education. Several High Schools of Gujarat got affiliated to it and they were feeling proud of it. The management of Charotar Education Society wanted to keep its school away from such a wave. The circumstances being, however, unfavorable, it secured the affiliation to Vidyapeeth. D. N. High School was then termed as D. N. Vinaymandir and its head was designated as Achärya (Principal). The said designation literally denotes one, who observes the right conduct. Gordhanbhäi felt it unbecoming to be called Achärya without being worthy of it. The title was thus hurting him and that alerted him. He deeply pondered over the qualities and conduct for becoming an Achärya of hundreds of students. In order to deserve that title he got eager to go to Shri Arvind or some other great saint and try to uplift his level. Since it was not possible to do so, he was remaining confused. During the Diwali vacation of 1921 when he went home, he came to know about Graceful Lord and Prabhushri Laghuräjswämi through his relative Bhagvänbhäi, and became keen to go to Shrimad Rajchandra Ashram at Agäs. Accordingly it was decided to go there along with Bhagvänbhäi on the day of Käli Chaudash (the last but one day of Hindu calendar year). While starting for the purpose in the early morning that day, he prayed to God to show the path and proceeded towards Agäs Page #5 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ When he reached Ashram, Prabhushri was seated under the Rayan tree and the devotional song of 'Mool Märag' was being sung as if God might have heard his prayer. At the instance of seeing him Gordhanbhäi gained peace at heart. Shrimad has stated that instead of asking for knowledge from the enlightened person one should aspire to get devotion from him. In tune with those words it occurred to Gordhanbhäi that though he could not stay at the service of his father, his life would be fulfilled by staying at the service of a great man like Prabhushri. The latter asked him the meaning of Swachchand and Parigrah (Self-indulgence and obstacles on the true path) occurring in the song. Since he could not reply, Prabhushri explained those terms and elaborated the essence of the song. Thereupon Gordhanbhäi made up his mind to stay at the service of Prabhushri so that he could remove his self-indulgence and obstacles. As if Prabhushri knew his mind, he affectionately extended to Gordhanbhai the Mantra of 'Sahajätmaswaroop Paramguru', which means that the supreme Guru stays at ease within the Self. It is a very significant Mantra. Brahmachäriji has termed it as symbolic of pure state of soul and has called it the supreme prayer and the essence of all adoration songs. While elaborating it he has observed: “The Mantra basically relates to pure consciousness, which is immortal and indestructible. Its chanting confers fearlessness, which is the essence of nonviolence. The Mantra helps in remaining steady in true state, which denotes absence of wrong perception; that itself is the essence of truth. The embodiment and all the worldly aspects relating thereto do not belong to the soul. One's identification with such aspects amounts to holding something that does not belong to him. That is stealing and has to be given up at death. Chanting of the Mantra helps in avoiding such stealing. True state of consciousness is Brahma and staying tuned to it constitutes true Brahmacharya. Moreover when one is imbibed with blissful state of purity, he ceases to have the instinct for sensual pleasure. Celibacy is thus inherent in pure consciousness. There is no possession in the pure state of soul. The Mantra therefore relates to the state of total absence of possession. Moreover when one gains the grace of supreme Guru, his instinct for possession necessarily disappears.' The Mantra thus stands for all the five main restraints. No wonder that Prabhushri and Brahmachäriji had repeatedly urged the liberation-seekers to chant it continually. The importance that Prabhushri attached to the Mantra can be seen from the fact that when Gordhanbhäi left the place, Prabhushri told one of his followers that he had not conferred such Smaran-Mantra to any one else. That would remind us of Shrimad's following words, 'The graceful view of the pious people constitutes the right perception.' Gordhanbhäi also had noted later on in his diary, 'Is it not unique that one gets such initiation at the hand of a great man on Käli Chaudash, the day for attaining accomplishments?' In Prajnävbodh he has sung: Jnäni Guru Shri Rajprabhuji Sharadpoornashashi Samä, Laguräj Roodi Vädliroop Bodhjal-Bhäre Namyä; Sansärsägarmän Mumukshu Chhipsam Mukh Kholatä, Ne Mantra Jalbindu Grahi Rachatä Jivanmuktälatä. (Shrimad Rajchandra was enlightened like the full moon of Sharadrutu (Fall season); Laghuräjswämi was like a cloud of wisdom that bent down for showering. The liberation-seekers open their mouths like shellfish and by picking up the drops of Mantra they prepare the pearls of liberation.) Prabhushri had written in his notebook several contemplative sentences like 'Remain alert by getting rid of self-indulgence', 'Resort to the true nature by removing indolence', 'Self indulgence can be overcome by direct contact with a true Guide' etc. Gordhanbhäi was so impressed by those words that he did not feel at ease in absence of Prabhushri. He remained devoted to him and whatever time he could spare from the daily activities he used to spend in devotion. Among the colleagues of the Society he came to be known as Gordhan Bhagat. Whenever he found time, he used to go to Ashram. In 'Tattvajnån he has noted, 'Always intent to see Prabhushri and to stay at his service', 'Remember the commands of Gurudev (Attaining true innate nature, giving up self-indulgence and obstacles, reading from 'Shrimad Rajchandra, contemplating over Prabhushri's writings etc.) At times when he could not bear the separation and if Prabhushri happened to be at some place like Ahmedabad, he would rush to such a place without even making sure that he had enough cash to buy the ticket. Hence he had to walk from Ahmedabad to Anand a couple of times. The Sutra 'Overcome Self Page #6 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ indulgence and obstacles' was at his heart and his only aspiration was to stay at the feet of Prabhushri. As such, he once decided to go to Prabhushri at Ahmedabad with the intent of not coming back. He reached there in the evening. That time Prabhushri was seated on a settee in the long corridor of the sanitarium. Gordhanbhai bowed to him and Prabhushri asked him to take Prasad (token sweet). While he was munching it, he heard the clattering of Prabhushri's baton. As he looked that side, he noticed that Prabhushri was putting on socks. Thereafter Prabhushri tried to put on footwear and then gave it up. Gordhanbhäi made out that it was symbolic for giving up the obstacles and staying at his service. However, after finishing Prasad when he came to Prabhushri, the latter asked him to go home. Thereupon the straightforward Gordhanbhai bowed to him and left without even making a request to keep him at the service. Adopting the motto 'Anäe Dhammo (Obedience constitutes the religion he started walking from Ahmedabad and reached Anand in the morning. His wife had expired leaving behind two and a half year old son Jasu. In order to take proper care of the infant, Gordhanbhäi was staying with his father in law at Anand. At times Prabhushri used to say that haste on the right path may turn into waste. Moreover, he had clearly specified that compassion is the foremost attribute. As such, Gordhanbhäi was patiently performing the duty of raising the son. His relatives had urged him to remarry, but he had firmly declined to do so, because remarriage would come in the way of serving Prabhushri. He was thus caught between the sense of duty for the son and the inclination for renouncement as well as detachment. Normally he used to go to Ashram once a week. When the son became five year old, he decided to buy monthly season ticket so as to go to Ashram every evening and come back in the morning. He could take sleep only for a short while, because in Ashram he remained busy with reading or writing till late at night and left the place early in the morning. In order to reduce the required sleep he used to take very little food in the evening. Noticing his mode Prabhushri had once remarked, "This Girdharbhai (At times Prabhushri used to address Gordhanbhäi as Girdharbhäi) regularly comes to the Ashram and spends the time in reading etc. What a difference has that made in his life? ... He has given up everything, life can be fulfilled this way.' That remark had an impact on one liberation-seeker. He once asked, "Prabhushri, what about the person who wants to give up but cannot put it in practice?" Prabhushri replied, “That happens, because giving up is not easy like cutting the overgrown nail. It is, however, clear that one should not adopt what is not right from the point of view of the enlightened being. Let other things stay; they would disappear on their own at the right time. ...One should try to reduce the attachment, because normally that comes in the way." Chapter 3: At the Threshold Gordhanbhai was feeling that going to Ashram in the evening and coming back in the morning was like riding on two horses. The words like 'Get rid of self-indulgence and remove obstacles' were prompting him to give up everything, but the concern for his son was preventing him from doing so. In order to be free from that concern he wrote a long letter to his brother Narsinhbhai. That letter shows his eagerness to give up the worldly life and to stay forever at the service of Prabhushri. It also indicates his thinking for the worldly aspects and is therefore given below except for the initial and ending portions thereof. The path of worldly beings relates to the worldly order, while that of devotees to the liberation; they are bound to be different. Those, who want to extend the worldly life and those, who want to curtail it, cannot go together. On that very account we remain disinclined towards the true monks. Prabhushri also belonged to a respectable family like ours. By virtue of some previous culture he developed detachment. As such, he abandoned the homely life and became a monk. In the monastic order also he had gained prominence, but he gave it up. By virtue of the wholesome destiny, however, the favorable situations move around him. He does not have any intent to spread his creed or to make pupils. Had he any such inclination, there were many monks and lay followers in Khambhät to stay at his service, he would not have left them. As a matter Page #7 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ of fact, what seems to us helpful and ambrosial is perceived by him as unhelpful and poisonous. The fact that he has gained the grace of Lord can be evident even from a slight contact with him. On account of some wholesome Karma I have been able to come in contact with such a person and by virtue of recognizing his personality I have been inclined to gain the liberation. I have been continually thinking of resorting to his guidance in that respect; I have no intention to get anything else. Hence all of you feel that I have changed my faith; forsaking the worldly path I have been seeking the different one. I have been going to Agäs for last four/five years and have been dispassionately observing what is going on there. I have not marked there any selfish or parochial motive. What is being done is to teach and contemplate over what needs to be done in this life; efforts are being made to raise the conditions, which are conducive to spiritualism and which can lead to the right conduct. I can make out from my own experience that one can easily perform there what needs to be performed as specified by the realized persons. I am increasingly feeling firm that if one can stay continually in contact with those great men, it would be possible for him to make real progress on the path of liberation. Many a times it occurs to me that I should leave everything else and spend the remaining years of life on that path. That idea, however, pales when I realize that the circumstances are not ripe for that. And I am not able to disclose it to anyone. My mind remains confused with the idea that there would be no purpose in giving vent to the unrealizable concept. The foremost requirements on the path of liberation consist of a true Guide and of the aspirant who acts in accordance with the guidance. In Laghuräjswämi I have noticed the reliable Guide, what is needed is the aspirant to act. Hence the question arises in my mind, 'Why delay?' You or other acquaintance may ask me, 'You are not attending to any family work, nor have you joined the Society for the sake of earning. In that case who prevents you from doing what you intend to do?' That question worries me too; it occurs, 'If I cannot do what needs to be done or do not become helpful to anyone, I should be the greatest fool.' After pondering over it I have found mainly following four factors that seem to bind me to the worldly life. 1 The bodily considerations: If the body gets ill and if it becomes impossible to earn, what about the financial resources for maintaining the life without being a burden upon anyone? 2 Consideration about Babu (Jasu): My closest connection is with my son. He is very young. What about my responsibility to raise and educate him? 3 Consideration about the family: I should hold responsibility for well being of the family in which I am born. What about my responsibility towards you and your kiths and kids? 4 Consideration about Society: For last ten years I have been associated with Charotar Education Society. How can I give up my responsibility towards it? These four factors worry me as if they are four holes in the boat. If water continually comes in from the holes, can a tourist enjoy his tour at ease? He would continually feel afraid of being drowned on account of the incoming water. Similarly the above considerations have been worrying me. It would be easy to make out that so long as they continue to bewilder me, it would not be possible for me to get ready for liberation or even to get the concept of the bliss. They would come in my way. As such, I intend to point out what I have done to overcome the same and also whether my efforts have anyway become fruitful. Let me first deal with the last two of them. You might be feeling that I have so far thought and worked only for myself and have not worried about the family. So long as my wife was alive, she kept in mind to send some amount for the undivided family at Bändhani. As such, she was trying to maintain our household very frugally. That time I could not make out her attitude. Since the salary from the Society was fixed on the basis of normal cost of maintaining a family, I had told her to spend reasonably for our household and to send to Bändhani what she could save. She, however, remained worried about what the people at Bändhani would think about us, though she could actually do very little in spite of remaining concerned. Page #8 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ Before proceeding further let me tell you something about my mind when I was studying. It will show that in spite of worrying too much I could not do much beyond remaining anguished and feeling unhappy. While I was studying, I used to continually think of my future. The idea of how I could make my way in the worldly life used to bother me since I was 14 or 15. I knew that according to our family conditions it would be necessary for me to earn my livelihood. Simultaneously it hurt me to think that I would have to bear the responsibility for the entire family, in case you are not there. My young mind could not make out how I would be able to undertake that responsibility. When I happened to see a man in sixties, it occurred to me that he had spent most of the life and was not likely to survive long. But when I compared myself with him, I used to think that he was far better off than me. I had a long life to live and the idea of what would happen to me during that long period made me cry. My looking at those old people with wet eyes is still fresh in my mind. Aside from giving pain those worries have not been helpful to anyone except that they prompted me to resume study. Thereafter the idea of leaving the student life so as to start earning occurred to me from time to time. The fact that I continued to study was mainly due to the feeling that proceeding with the study could delay my worrying for future. I felt that it was better to delay undertaking of worldly responsibilities Those worries have not been fruitful in any other respect. I have thus not kept anything undone in worrying about the future, but did not tell anyone on account of bashfulness. After finishing the study when it was the time to undertake work, everything turned out readymade. It seemed as if the nature had made the arrangements for me as the British Govt. makes the arrangements for residence, office etc. of an incoming Collector. Many people had spent sleepless nights for me and had set up where and what type of work I had to do. As such, I was not required to make any application or wait for any order of appointment. The work was waiting for me even before my ruptured thumb was healed. While I did not have any concept about where to live or how to maintain myself, the nature placed me in the midst of noble Amin families. I did not have any qualification except the yearning to put in good work. But neither have I received any rebuke, nor have I faced any problem. I had thus no reason to face any adversity except worrying about true progress in life, which did not allow even the people like Gautam Buddha to stay at ease. I think, all that could have happened only by virtue of some wholesome previous Karma and wholesome contact. Otherwise I feel ashamed to see my faults at that time. It's not that the faults do not prevail at present; the difference is that earlier I took them as friends, while I now consider those faults as foes and am out to fight against them. I have found the work of the Society as simple as taking the breath. You might have, however, thought that I would be a high Govt. official or an administrator to usurp the public property like a daylight robber, or earn by becoming an attorney, who would encourage disputes among the people and prosper. But nothing of that sort was destined to be done through this body. I also had the notions of becoming a Govt. official two years before finishing the study, but my idea was to be helpful to the people by becoming an official. Those notions, however, underwent change during the last years of study and I decided not to undertake the slavery of serving the British Govt. I was prepared to face the life of austerity, if it became necessary by my accepting a private job. During that period I also had the occasion to read spiritual literature. That reading coupled with the graduate degree had given me the confidence that wherever I would be required to stay, I would not have to show humility for earning my livelihood; whatever adverse may happen, I would be able to earn enough for maintaining the family and close relatives. Simultaneously it was in my mind that I do not want to be a millionaire in this life. It was therefore not necessary to make vain effort for earning too much. That gave and still gives me the satisfaction. Due to that confidence and remaining under the influence of reformation I had decided that I would not take anything from the ancestral property. In many cases brothers happen to quarrel for the sake of such property, I did not want to do anything of that sort. I also felt it unjust to lay claim on the property not earned by me. Only the females and children, who do not earn, can legitimately lay claim thereon. I believe that others, males in particular, should gain their livelihood by their own endeavor. Page #9 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ During this life I have therefore not thought of laying any claim on ancestral property and simultaneously I believe that other people should not expect anything from me. The cost of my education was borne by the undivided family and I considered it reasonable, because I did not expect anything else from the family. In order to provide funds for education of the family-children in future I had thought of sending to Bändhani whatever we could save by reasonably maintaining our household without expecting to get back anything out of it. We have not tried to set aside anything in the form of cash or ornaments. I believed that all the savings should go to the family chest, which should be treated as a bank balance that could be used in case of illness or for other purposes like maintaining and educating the children. For that sake, however, I did not believe in observing frugality in maintaining our household. My concept for that purpose was similar to a domestic granary in which is stored whatever is produced in the farm. The same could be used as per requirements and whatever remains would be the saving. I was also sure that you are not extravagant and hence I never thought of privately setting aside any amount. By virtue of some earlier Karma I was of the strong opinion that I should not be a burden upon anyone and I should live in a way that is right. I should not have to repent at the time of death that I had to suffer on account of my abiding by the advice of so and so or to find any other fault with someone. But I could not openly express the same. Hence the people at Bändhani as well as other relatives did not like my joining the service of the Society. They felt that I was hitting the axe on my own feet. You felt it all the more, because as the elder brother you had spent for my education out of family chest with the expectation that you would be off the burden now. Hence you had conveyed through the mother that we should divide our property. From what I have written above, it would be clear that what you were feeling scared of could not even be conceived by me. I was not going to be sad, if I did not get a penny out of the ancestral property. I did not believe that I had any stake on the property and there was no force that could alter my view. There was of course one force and that was our mother; I did not want to hurt her feeling bad anyway. She was, however, so affectionate that she could never think of making me unhappy by forcing her wish upon me. She invariably asked me to do the way I felt happy while taking care of you. She had also expected that I would be a great official, while you would remain a pauper. She was not aware that I had ridden off the concept of getting rich and had entrusted to you to manage whatever belonged to the family. Moreover her religious mind could not force me to change my thinking and to ask me to earn more. I therefore knew that I had nothing to feel afraid of. She had never conceived of the wealth and at the time of death she had blessed me for getting the grace of God, which I have been looking for. It seems that God is pleased to give me the reward of serving the mother and I have been repeatedly thinking of endeavoring for the same. It is not easy to get the human life again and it would not be possible to accomplish the bliss in other births. We shall have to leave behind whatever we might have earned. We should therefore try to get in this life what is of interest to soul. By virtue of the sense of detachment and renouncement I was so far prompted to undertake the work of public service for the sake of spiritual well being. But I did not know that it was like ascending the stairs. I had planned to serve the Society for 20 years and thought it right. At the end of ten years I now see that those arrangements were faulty. It seems like someone coming to the rail station on horseback and giving it up for climbing the bridge. The horse here stands for family worries, which I had set aside while taking up the Society's work. Though I could not remain completely aloof from the family matters, I can say that no worry occurred to me in that respect. Had that occurred, I would have inquired about the produce from the farm, how much net we gain, how much is the expense and how much is the saving. I have never done it in spite of your repeated suggestions to do so. Even at present our neighbors might be better aware of our property, I have never cared to know about it. I have dealt with the considerations Nos. 3 and 4. Now let me talk about others. That will be clear from the description of Vitthal, who died before this Babu was born. During his three years of life I used to feel like leaving the home on account of the sense of detachment. I actually once left Bändhani at 3.00 A.M. with the intent that I would hide myself in some wilderness that I may come across and make preparations for a superior life. While moving here and there for two hours in the direction of Nadiad when I came to the border of Ghunteli, I realized that I was still near Bändhani; if someone came looking for me, he could easily spot me. Hence traversing the regular one mile distance in half an hour I came back to Bändhani. I Page #10 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ used to get such emotions for renouncement many a time, but in absence of clear idea about the right place it could have amounted to a leap in the dark. I was therefore passing time waiting for an opportunity. I feel that I was simultaneously consuming the Karma of availing the worldly life. Though my son Vitthal survived only for three years, he gave me as much worry as one gets for raising a son up to 30 years. I had considered about his education, the arrangements to be made for the purpose, how I should behave as the father etc. In short I had harbored a greater sense of attachment for him than for any other worldly aspect. I did not, however, make out that his body was mortal. That was similar to the darkness prevailing under a lamp. Such drawbacks prevail in all the activities of the worldly beings. We talk of wisdom, but that does not have any experiential basis; it is more or less parrot-like. I had even thought of what I should give him in heritage. By virtue of some earlier wholesome Karma it had occurred to me that the best heritage a father can leave consists of observing the best conduct. I therefore did not dream of his prosperity or of getting him married and raising a big family. By way of heritage I had wished that he should lead the best possible life as per my concept and that he should fulfill the task left incomplete by me. Similarly I had thought of completing the work left behind by our father. With a view to spending the rest of life in devotion he had started observing Marjäd, separated himself from the home life and had given up the body while observing the same. Though he did not have the earnestness to give up the worldly life, he did get alert at the fag end. Setting himself apart by observing Marjäd was similar to one's saving as much as possible when the house is on fire. I have not forgotten it, nor am I ever going to forget it. You have so far undertaken the burden of worldly life and have been managing the family matters; I have luckily stayed away. I have been living in search of spiritual bliss and have been endeavoring to attain the same. While you have been trying to maintain and augment the social prestige, I have been trying to augment what I have gained from the parents and from the Guru. I am now craving for the superb state and am prepared to give up everything for that purpose. I am narrating the difficulties in that respect with the intent that my work would be easy, if I get help and blessing from you as the elder brother. I am sure of having gained the right Guide; I am not old enough to get tired of proceeding on the path indicated by him, nor am I going to be content with a superfluous gain. By the grace of God I have not been afflicted with agedness or disease and hence it is possible for me to reach my goal. Of the earlier said four factors of worry, you have so far helped me in remaining free from the family worries. Now I need your help and blessing all the more. If you therefore agree to take care of Babu, I would endeavor to get freed from the worries pertaining to the Society and my physique. I have made sure that by staying a few years in the favorable circumstances obtaining in Ashram I would be able to avert forever the worries pertaining to Society, family, Babu as well as my physique. I feel that after giving up all those worries I would have never to recollect the same by the grace of Guru. I also feel that longing for the worldly comforts and happiness would not arise, even if I come across much hardship. The question would be, 'what would happen if I come across superior type of worldly situations?' By virtue of Guru's grace and by remaining at his shelter as well as by getting trained under those saints I hope to attain a state where my mind would remain steady even in such favorable circumstances. I am particular to get initiated early, because if I try to lead the life of detachment in the circumstances obtaining in the Ashram, there is good possibility of steadying my tendencies under the aegis of Laghuräjswämi. From my observation of the worldly life I have learnt that even if one aspires to get wealth, many a times it takes time before his target can be accomplished; but if one is firm for renouncement, he does not need much time in implementing it. What comes in the way is laxity and ignorance. I want to spend the remaining life in getting rid of ignorance. Simultaneously I want to fight against the laxity. Since I see the possibility of getting the training which can enable me to withstand highly tempting situations in this life, I am out to undertake the task, which all of you consider very hard. I need a desireless and self-realized Guru, who could be instrumental in removing my shortfalls. Since I have access to such a Guru, I request you with folded hands to bless me in the enterprise. You might remember that when I thought of going back to school, you did not come in the way and gave me all possible help. In that case why should you have any objection to my undertaking this noble task? Please Page #11 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ take care of Babu together with your son. Everyone gets what is destined for him and one is automatically drawn towards the place, where he is to get the livelihood. We unnecessarily think that something has been done or is being done by us. That is sheer ignorance and is comparable to a dog moving under a cart while thinking that it moves the cart. Let these boys therefore study and get the occupation destined for them. I feel that there would be no problem in providing Babu's needs simultaneously with those of your son. When one goes on a pilgrimage, it is customary to give him blessing by drawing a Tilak on his forehead and giving him some token gift. I am planning to go on a long pilgrimage from which I do not want to come back. I want to give up the family connections and to treat the entire world as my family. I am out to spend the remaining years of my life at the feet of Graceful Lord. I have so far not talked at Agäs about my intention. If they do not consider me fit to undertake the responsibility and do not permit me to give up the worldly connections, I have no intention to wander like a mendicant. It would, however, be acceptable to me to resort to the measures that he (Prabhushri) would suggest for becoming worthy. As such, I want to talk to him after getting freed from other encumbrances so that I can utilize my capabilities in undertaking the task that he may ask or advise me to undertake. With that purpose I am requesting you to free me from the responsibilities that, I think, rest upon me. After getting freed from those responsibilities, I would feel totally satisfied whether Prabhushri asks me to go to Käshi for further study or entrusts me with the trifling work of ringing the bell or of cleaning the garbage. I know that my well being lies in carrying out his commands and have faith that he is competent to direct me where my true well being lies. I am bothering you with this long letter so that I can go to him free from encumbrances. Once I get your blessing, I want to talk about my intention to those concerned with the Society and secure their permission to leave the work. For that purpose I would not mind waiting a little, if necessary. I have kept my resignation letter ready since I decided to tread on this path. I want to talk to Agäs after all of you agree with my plan and necessary arrangements are made in respect of Babu, Society etc. In that case I feel that it would not be difficult for them to admit me in Ashram. That would happen as it might be destined, but I would not fail in making effort for that purpose. I feel sure that I would get your favor and blessing. In case, however, the sense of attachment for the younger brother gets too strong and if you insist upon my staying in the worldly life, I would like to point out that once a firm decision is made, it is not in my nature to swerve from it. That you have noticed at the time of accepting the Society's work and while declining to remarry. On both those occasions I had to displease you. By this long letter I am entreating you so that I have not to displease you in this meritorious enterprise. Having stayed in religious environment you would make out that what I intend to do is meritorious. If you are, however, tempted to object by virtue of attachment, let me try to explain. In case, I die, you are going to take care of everything. I want to die from the worldly life so that whatever has to be done after death can be done right now; I want to spend the remaining years of my life for my well being, or for rendering the service to Ashram or to the world at large. I want to give up home and become a monk in order to undertake the true duty of servicing everyone. I have no concept of being a saint, sage or of getting any position. I have been thinking since long of remaining at the service of all, of being a truth-seeker. Now I want to do that. Neither am I tired of working for the Society, nor has Society thought of firing me so that I would need to look for other work. Had there been such a case, I am confident of my ability to find a job that would pay a couple of hundred rupees a month. I, however consider such jobs as undertaking of slavery and servitude. My attitude is to stay independent and to guide appropriately those who want to be independent. I feel that it would be enough if that much can be done in this short life. I find it unbearable to remain involved in unessential activities. Indulgence therein is as good as death. The life would be merely a moving corpse, if it cannot be purposeful. It is like living in a terrible prison; it amounts to quietly bearing the concealed hurt. There are two reasons for not telling you in the matter so far. The first is that I wanted to be sure that my intention for getting freed from the worldly life arises out of a wholesome purpose, not because of being tired of it. The second is that while Babu was younger, lot of effort was needed in taking care of him. It was particularly tough, because the habits formed that time endure for the whole life and I was hesitating to entrust it to anyone. Now Babu can take care of himself; he can play and move about on his own. As such, Page #12 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ the person in charge does not have much to worry about. Moreover, by staying in a reasonably comfortable family and by getting the opportunity to read wholesome literature he would be able to make progress that might have been destined for him. Babu now hardly needs my help and I have not been doing much for him. Moreover, the cause for which I am leaving would be helpful to him in making progress, when he gets old enough to understand it. After all, everyone makes progress, gets the occupation and passes the time as destined; we can neither add to it nor subtract from it. What had we brought with us at the time of birth? Even the sons of same parents get happiness or unhappiness as destined for them. Moreover, at the time of death we are not going to take with us what we have earned. If someone feels pain or unhappiness at the time of death, no one would be able to give even a bit of relief. As such, I have no hesitation in leaving everyone. Even when one leaves for a wholesome cause, his relations might feel bad in proportion to their attachment. Your wife may perhaps feel like crying. I therefore request you to patiently explain to her my intention as understood by you. Read this letter to her, if you think fit. Tell her that Gordhanbhäi has requested her to forgive for any faults or any inappropriate words uttered by me earlier in adolescence. I sincerely beg your pardon also for any fault committed by me physically, verbally or mentally. If you want to wish my happiness, I request both of you to bless me while proceeding for the true earning career, as the people do for those, who go to Africa for the sake of earning. The value of earning that I am looking for may not be evident at present, but that is the highest type of earning that can be made in this life and I have been yearning for that. Here I am not suggesting of getting something new; what I am referring to is of averting unnecessary confusion and gaining the truth. In due course it would be clear that therein lay the true happiness. Earlier I used to get overcome with the sense of detachment. Had I left at that time for canyons of the river Mahi or towards Himalayas, you would have forgotten about me by now. The same would happen after a couple of years as I am going to leave now. Death is going to occur any time; that is not going to wait till I explain my position by writing such a lengthy letter to you. It would therefore be sensible to become alert and to settle now what is going to be done sooner or later. Chapter 4: Initiation Main intention of Gordhanbhäi in writing the above-said letter would be seen from its introductory part. "With a view to getting your blessing I am presenting to you in short what I have understood through my study and experience of the worldly life as well as by reading about the experience of the great people. I hope that it would lead your inner self to make out the truth, to consider the interest of both of us and to extend all possible help." While addressing that letter he had also written a letter to Prabhushri during the summer of 1924. It states: "Since I came in your contact, I feel overcome with exhilaration and affection towards you to an extent as if you had been my father... I have been thinking to come to Agäs in March next year and stay at your service and command for one year. During that time I intend to undertake the service that you may suggest. In the meanwhile I want to ready myself for getting worthy of staying with you. With that intention in mind I am writing this letter several months ahead of my arrival. ... If I merely get a hint from you to come there earlier, I have firmly decided to leave everything else, as if it never belonged to me, and present myself to you. Many a time I get the urge for renouncement, but it has not been possible for me to give up the worldly life... My condition is identical to a person, who has gone for swimming, but has been waiting for someone to push him into water. It seems, I have been waiting for your asking me to leave all the worries and to come to the shelter of the saint, as you have been suggesting to Kalyanji uncle and telegraph master Maganbhäi. I have decided to be present there as soon as I get your directive. I have learnt that there is nothing to be pondered over after getting Guru's command. 'Ajna Gurunämavicharaniya'... I am waiting Page #13 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ for your letter telling me what I need to do during the remaining few months ...for becoming worthy." In spite of the tendency to dedicate the life to Ashram he was feeling that if there was no work for him, he would merely be a burden to Ashram; in that case it would be better to have a job elsewhere and send to Ashram the amount saved out of the earning. When therefore Prabhushri said that there was lot of work for him, he could no longer wait. In order to be at the service of Prabhushri he secured the permission of the elder brother, resigned from Charotar Education Society and joined the Ashram in June 1925. Shrimad has stated, "Celibacy is helpful and is of fundamental importance in exercising control over conduct, in averting all sorts of indolence, in continually maintaining the tendency within and in resorting to the means of liberation." In light thereof Prabhushri administered the vow of celibacy to Gordhanbhäi. Thereafter Prabhushri used to address him as Brahmachäri. As such, every one else also started calling him that way and in due course he came to be known as Brahmachäri everywhere. That epithet was thus turned into a proper name for him. After joining the Ashram Brahmachäriji continuously stayed at the service of Prabhushri. He used to get up at 3.00 A.M. read Gommatsär etc. to Prabhushri, undertake routine devotional activity from morning to evening while rendering service to Prabhushri, read up to 11.00 P.M. and remain busy till beyond midnight with writing letters, diary, preparing translations etc. He thus got very little time for sleep and rest. Still he could cheerfully undertake the hard work by virtue of the strong physique, mental steadiness, sharpness of the faculties and control over sense organs inclusive of observance of celibacy. His motto was: 'Nishdin Nainamen Nind Na Äve, Nar Tabahi Näräyan Påve' (One can get in contact with God, only when he forgoes sleep). By virtue of the study and devotion undertaken day and night under the guidance of Prabhushri, he could read, ponder over and contemplate at depth on a number of scriptural texts. Even months used to pass in such contemplation. He, however, never gave vent to it. He digested the same within and did not emit it out. Writing of letters also was done strictly as directed by Prabhushri. His was the state of total surrender, as if he knew nothing. His entire life underwent change; even the command over English language was forsaken. It seemed as if he wanted to put into practice the following words of Shrimad: "What needs to be accomplished by undertaking rituals, chanting, austerities or reading is to forsake the world and stay at the feet of saint.' On November 1 1926 while he finished reading to Prabhushri at 10.15 P.M. Muni Mohanlälji came there. Prabhushri told him, "Those, who have faith in the words of Graceful Lord, should now take care of us. He has said, 'Take care of Muni; remain at his service.' This Laghuraj now needs to be taken care of like a young child; he should be taken care of as the sons take care of their old father. It is not possible to speak much, otherwise we would move from place to place. Earlier we liked to listen, if someone read to us; let us now continue to listen. That sense stays even at present; that is the best way of spending time; what else needs to be done now?" Brahmachåriji's heart got moist on hearing those words. During the same year Prabhushri graced him by giving Samadhishatak (100 verses of quietude), which the Graceful Lord Shrimad had earlier given to Prabhushri for reading. Brahmachäriji studied it intensively during the succeeding six years and digested it so much that Prabhushri became pleased and gave him something unique, which other liberation-seekers had been impatiently entreating for. Prabhushri, however, used to point out, 'One can get the grace by becoming gentle like a son, not by posing as father.... No one gets what he does not deserve. The enlightened beings would call and give it to one, who deserves, even while he would be passing by. See what is stated in Upmitibhavprapanch (An illustrative story). I am wondering at what the author has written! How can one make it out without deserving the same?' On the ninth day of the month of Jeth in Samvat year 1988 (About June 1932) Prabhushri thus conferred the unique Gurugam (Guru's Grace) to Brahmachäriji. Prabhushri used to say about him, 'He is soft like gold and can be turned the way you like; he can be molded to any shape.' At times he also pointed out that Brahmachäriji had the right perception; that was his imprint and did not need any other label. After setting up Ashram at Agäs Prabhushri had virtually undertaken the mission to propagate and spread the true religion as revived by the Graceful Lord. In that connection he used to administer the vows of Page #14 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ restraints and confer Mantra to liberation-seekers, who came to him for that purpose. After Brahmachäriji settled in Ashram, Prabhushri many a time directed him to undertake that work. As the physical condition of Prabhushri started deteriorating from the full moon day of Month of Mahä in Samvat year 1992 (By the end of winter 1936), he took it as the signal for his end. Thereupon he gave the following instructions while entrusting the Ashram to Brahmachäriji in the presence of Trustees. "All this pertains to Ashram. Choonibhäi, Manibhäi, 'Let there be croutons in the soup'... I have nothing to say so long as this body lasts, but main entrusting relates to Brahmachäri. (To Brahmachäriji) Go to the portrait of Graceful Lord; after going round if one comes for Smaran Mantra, it should be seriously looked into, examine his objective; if it is worth, the vow to resort to the commands be administered to him." That auspicious occasion was exhilarating to every resident of Ashram. During 1924 when Prabhushri was on his way to Poona, some liberation-seekers had seen him at Anand. With tears in eyes they had asked, 'Whom shall we resort to now?' Prabhushri had said, 'We would leave behind a true celibate, who would come to serve us and at whose command even the river Yamunä would give way, as it gave way to the command of Shri Krishna. On another occasion when Mänekchandji, Jiji uncle, Kalyanji uncle and others were expressing their worry about the future of Ashram, Prabhushri had said that he would leave behind a celibate, who was to stay at his service for eleven years. Everyone was therefore full of cheers to notice that those words were now coming true. The following day Prabhushri said, "For soul this is the festival of death; death itself is a festival. Choonibhäi, Manibhäi, Sobhägbhäi, Parikh, Vanechand, we have instituted this Center of Graceful Lord. Soul is the religion; let us abide by the directives of Graceful Lord. Take Brahmachäri also. Take others if you think fit. The Graceful Lord has commanded: Änäe Dhammo, Änäe Tavo' (Carrying out commands constitutes the religion and that itself constitutes the austerity.). That is the original path. We should believe in surrendering to Graceful Lord. There is nothing that stays beyond what he has said." He specified the same thing to Brahmachäriji once again. That time detachment, disentanglement etc. were evident from his facial features, movement of eyes etc. It seemed as if he was not speaking, yet the people were listening the divine voice, 'Confer Smaran-Mantra, ask to recite 20 lyrics, Yam-Niyam, Kshamäpanä and to avoid seven addictions as well as seven non-eatables: I entrust the religion to you.' Thereafter Prabhushri stayed mostly absorbed in soul. On the 8th day of the month of Vaishäkh (About May 1936) after the end of Devvandan, Prabhushri asked the people at his side to recite Apoorva Avasar (Unprecedented Occasion). As the highly contemplative song composed by the Graceful Lord came to the end, the pious soul of Prabhushri got absorbed in ecstasy and leaving the mortal remains here it proceeded towards the higher abode. Up to the end he had maintained the state of total disentanglement, which is hard to be maintained even by great ascetics. Chapter 5: Unique Experience The position of Brahmachäriji became tough after the departure of Prabhushri. While he was still grieving of the departure, he had to bear the responsibility relating to the liberation-seekers. In order to reduce the grief and to stay with the memories he started writing Prabhushri's life, and also undertook pilgrimages of the places where Prabhushri had moved. That led to enhancing the memories and the grief resulting from the separation thus grew. The outcome was, however, wholesome as mentioned by the Graceful Lord. "The intense grief of separation from the Lord leads to attainment of His state, and identical is the outcome of grief resulting from separation of Saint." By virtue of remaining in internal grief Brahmachäriji could gain total concentration of soul during the last Page #15 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ night of the pilgrimage. That happened in the month of Jeth in Vikram Samvat 1993 (about June 1937). He has termed it as Dharmarätri (Spiritual night) and has poetically described it as under. Yäträni Antim Rätrie Jägrutbhäv Janäyo Re: Mänglik Shubh Adhyavsäye Andhakär Gamäyo Re. Illuminating awareness shone out on the last night of pilgrimage; darkness was removed by resorting to blissful wholesome mode. Dharmadhyän Je Shreyaroop Chhe, Shreshth Jyeshtamän Lädhun Re; Chhatthi Rätri Krishnapakshani Brahmacharya Bal Vädhyun Re. On the sixth day of the dark half of the month of Jyeshtha I could attain spiritual concentration, which is beneficial to soul, and the vigor for observing celibacy simultaneously went up. Gauripoojämän Kare Jägran Kumärikä Vratdhäri Re; Laukik Roodh Riväj Bhooli Ätmärthe Nind Niväri Re. Unmarried girls resorting to Gauripoojan ritually stay awake at night; instead of resorting to that routine I averted the sleep of ignorance and awakened the Self. Smruti Ätmasiddhini Dhäri Sadguru Sadä Upakäri Re; Jyän Jyån Je Je Yogya Janäve Te Atamhitkäri Re. True Guru is always helpful as specified in Ätmasiddhishästra; whatever and wherever he points out is beneficial to soul. Shänt Surätri Ätmahitamän Dharmätmä Jan Gäle Re: To Kalikäl Nade Nahin Tene Brahma Apoorav Bhäle Re. If spiritually oriented person spends the night while quietly contemplating about the well being of soul, the present adverse time would not come in his way and he can gain the unique Self-realization. In tune with that experience he wrote the poem Vivekbävani, which relates to distinguishing between the soul and non-soul based on Mokshamärg Prakäsh (Manifesting the Path of Liberation). Then he translated Jnänsär (Essence of knowledge) and Jnänmanjari (Abstract of Knowledge). But that did not give him satisfaction as can be seen from the following line of his poem. Nathi Näth Jagamän Sär Kain, Sär Sadguru Pyar Chhe. (Lord, there is nothing of essence in the world; the essence lies in the affection for true Guru.) While referring to the author of Mahäbhärat Shrimad has written, "Vyäsji was not feeling pleased at heart in spite of gaining the realization, because he had not sung the devotional songs with an exclusive mind." Something similar might have happened to Brahmachäriji. In order therefore to forsake the grief and to attain the inner pleasure, he started composing Prajnävbodh in 1938 on the lines specified by Shrimad. While composing Mokshamälä Shrimad had mentioned that it was devised for meaningful education and presented in the form of instructions for children. Vivechan (commentary) and Prajnävbodh (instructions for mature) parts were to be separately prepared. A few months prior to his departure he had mentioned that he would dictate titles of 108 lessons of Prajnävbodh and had dictated the same shortly thereafter. Brahmachäriji had developed unique devotion towards him by virtue of the instructions of Prabhushri and by reading, pondering and contemplating over Shrimad's writings. The impact thereof always stayed at his heart and whatever he wrote was oriented towards the adoration of Graceful Lord Shrimad Rajchandra. That sense of adoration reached the highest level in Prajnävbodh. He has sung therein the superb devotion Page #16 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ in different rhymes depicting Shrimad's images in different states. Jainism classifies all the spiritual literature in four parts, Viz. i) Dravyänuyog dealing with the original substances and fundamental theories, ii) Charitänuyog dealing with observance of conduct and restraints, iii) Ganitänuyog relating the spiritual matter in quantitative terms and iv) Kathänuyog relating the same historically or in the form of illustrative stories. Prajnavbodh covers all the four parts. The chapters dealing with soul and its categories, nine fundamentals, rebirth, right perception, analysis of Jainism, spiritualism, absolute truth, omniscience, ultimate liberation etc. relate to Dravyänuyog. Those dealing with compassion, Anekantväd, straightforwardness, austerities, restraint, celibacy, Samiti-Gupti (meticulous vigilance and refraining), etc. relate to Charitänuyog. Those dealing with the kinds of species, indolence, Karma, time, hardships, etc. relate to Ganitänuyog. Life sketches of Rushabhdev, Shäntinäth, Nemnäth, Pärshwanath and Mahävirswämi as well as the stories of Räm, Shälibhadra, Chandraräj and others relate to Kathänuyog. The work of composing Prajnavbodh was continued for three years and one more year was spent in revising it. The book was thus ready by 1942 and it happened to be read during the devotional program in the hall. Being impressed thereby the liberation-seekers had been pressing for publishing it. Brahmachäriji, however, did not want to get it published that time. He had been writing Prabhushri's biography and his teaching and wanted to publish it earlier. The pressure for publishing Prajnävbodh was, however continuing and during 1953 a few liberation-seekers even contributed the amount for the purpose. In view thereof he gave his consent for publishing it. Unfortunately his life came to the end shortly thereafter and the book could not see the light of the day during his lifetime. One of the liberation-seekers staying at his service has mentioned that Brahmachäriji mostly used to write the book at night. For that purpose he used to remain awake beyond midnight. Sometime after writing some portion he might take a nap, but would soon get up and start writing again. While pursuing the project for more than three years he never uttered a word about it. Though it had been a superb composition that could move the hearts of the readers, his verbal faculty had assumed mum and allowed him to stay absorbed in the project. That absorption led to the rise of inner enlightenment. As such, in summer of 1940 he wrote: Äj Oogyo Anupam Din Märo, Tattvaprakash Vikäse Re; Sadguru Swaroop Abhed Antare, Ati Ati Pragat Prabhäse Re. (Today has been the unique day for me; it has given rise to manifestation of the true essence. The nature of true Guru stays distinctly vivid at heart.) Chapter 6: Characterization Thereafter Brahmachäriji's life remained a fountain of pleasure. His delightful complexion gave a glimpse of truth, consciousness and pleasure. Merely by looking at him one could feel convinced that religion is the bliss and that worship leads to internal pleasure. His cheerful face gave the glimpse of a poet and the master of Mantras. It is seen that pundits generally like to remain busy discussing various principles and logically trying to prove their viewpoints. Some of them, who consider themselves more knowledgeable, may also talk about other aspects like Karma, austerities, stages of spiritual elevation etc. Instead of being dragged in such discussion Brahmachäriji remained content with concentration of mind in the image of saint, who had experienced the soul. He was so full of innocence and his approach was so friendly that everyone experienced the sense of close intimacy with him. That intimacy did not allow him to differentiate the self from others. Within him one could see the simplicity of a child as well as the serenity of ocean. Though he had the scriptural knowledge at length and also had the capacity to make out the human nature from the lowest to the highest level, he always remained unassuming. Whatever he had gained, he used to attribute to the ascetic force of Graceful Page #17 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ Lord and never allowed it to overflow. He used to talk with frankness and never tried to demonstrate his knowledge or greatness. His approach was in tune with the following stanza of Akhä Bhagat. Jnäni Guru Na Thaye Keno, Se'j Swabhäve Vät Ja Kare, Akhä, Gurupanun Manmän Nav Dhare (The enlightened being does not become anyone's Guru; he talks with utter simplicity and does not hold superiority in his mind.) His presence was conducive to the growth of virtues and veracity in everyone. His sense of intimacy with everyone was reminiscent of the words of Graceful Lord. That made him so trustworthy that anyone could confide in him without hesitation. Simultaneously one could notice within him an adamant force, which made the people coming in his contact to refrain from doing anything wrong. He, however, treated even the wicked one in a friendly mode. When some wickedness came to his notice, he took it as childish and looked at the person concerned with the smile of an elderly man. He had not to resort to wrath for treating even the lowliest one; his seriousness was enough. When he became serious, one could get the idea of the force behind his simplicity. That did not fail to have impact even upon the high-headed. Simultaneously one could experience compassion flowing from the seriousness by virtue of utter mildness at his heart. At his instance thousands of liberation-seekers adopted the refuge of the Graceful Lord. Hundreds of them came in close contact with Brahmachäriji, yet he remembered their names, addresses, occupations, problems etc. Despite that sharp memory and personal contacts he could remain totally unattached. The sense of detachment was apparent in his eyes. Dr. Shantibhai Patel, who had stayed in his proximity, mentions one event. His nieces once asked him about the exact significance of celibacy. Shantibhai advised them to ask Brahmachäriji about the same. When the latter came to Sunäv, they went to him to get the clarification. After coming back the girls were talking among themselves about his eyesight that stayed unique even while he was talking or smiling. Shantibhai asked them whether his gestures looked like the males. As the girls replied in negative, Shantibhai asked whether they looked like females. The girls replied that they were neither like males nor like females. Shantibhai said, 'That is the symbol of true celibacy.' It is said: 'Poornanand Sudhäsnigdhä Drashtireshä Manishinäm (The eyes of sages are perfectly delightful and highly ambrosial)'. The ambrosial eyesight of Brahmachäriji was symbolic of his perfect celibacy. That cheerful and pleasing smile was in a way due to Prabhushri. His laughing gesture was reflected in the form of smile at the heart of Brahmachäriji. For understanding it let us go back to 1920. After displaying the devotional love comparable to that of Vraj girls during 1920-21 Prabhushri had withdrawn the same. December 31 of 1921 was destined to bring it back. That evening he was blooming at heart; he again looked like the great ascetic of Joonägadh. It seemed, after setting up Ashram in Charotar for the sake of devotion he was now out to turn it into the fountain of pleasure. As usual Brahmachäriji was leaving the Ashram with his devotional eyesight downward and Prabhushri was accompanying him to the Rail station to give him farewell. Normally silence used to prevail that time. That evening was, however, different. Prabhushri asked, "Why is there no smile or delightfulness on the face?' Brahmachäriji could not contain his pleasure to hear those words and tears of joy came in his eyes. He boarded the train and as the engine started, its throbbing was echoed at his heart. Prabhushri stayed by the side of Brahmachäriji's compartment and as it started moving, he gave a hearty laughter. The next day was the starting of New Year. When Brahmachäriji came to Ashram that day, Prabhushri gave him a copy of Shrimad Rajchandra in gift. That was the unique favor and Brahmachäriji has noted in his diary: 'I am enjoying the full favor from the Guru.' Then he referred to No. 753 of the book and noted that Prabhushri wanted to convey the message of internal pleasure specified in the words of Anandghanji. Anandghanji was the great sage-poet, who lived during the 17th century. His lifetime is generally accepted as 1604 to 1674. He has composed 24 Stavans (Adoration songs) addressed to 24 Tirthankars. Shrimad had perhaps the plan to explain and elaborate them at length. As a part thereof he has elaborated the first Stavan addressed to Lord Rushabhdev that is given under the said No. 753. It is presented in the form of soul's tendency talking to the mind. In Indian language tendency happens to be in feminine gender. Hence the Page #18 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ Stavan has been presented in the form of a girl talking about her lover to a friend. Its last stanza is as under. Chittaprasanne Re Poojan Fal Kahun, Pooja Akhandit Eh; Kapatarahit Thai Ätam Arapanä, Anandghan Padareh (The essence of worship lies in mental pleasure; that constitutes uninterrupted worship. Total surrender without reservation constitutes the unobstructed bliss.) While explaining the stanza Shrimad has written, "Friend, There are many ways to please the husband. He can be pleased by words, touch etc. Internal pleasure is the topmost of them. It can continue uninterrupted. Surrendering to him without reservation leads to intense pleasure and hence to the rise of fortune. “There are many ways of pleasing the Lord, e.g. material worship, modal worship, obeying, touching, etc. The topmost worship consists of internal pleasure, i.e. attainment of unity with the Lord by keeping the tendency within him. All other means are covered therein and that constitutes the uninterrupted worship. If the mind stays in Lord, tendencies also stay accordingly, because their functioning depends upon the mental state. If mind stays absorbed in Lord, the tendency would not turn to the worldly modes. Since the concept of acceptance or rejection would not prevail there, it remains uninterrupted." Similarly Brahmachäriji has showered the pleasurable smile throughout his life and has made others the partners thereof. That was characteristic of the graceful joy of Vraj girls emanating from their devotion. His expressing capacity was in tune with his high character. When he spoke, the people used to listen for hours without getting tired; they were always ready to listen to him. His talk was far from exciting; it was cool like the ambrosial full-moon light. It could penetrate the innermost parts of the listeners and confer calmness to them; it illuminated and purified their hearts. He had never to make effort to present the truth; whatever he spoke turned out to be truth. At times it could also give the glimpse of past or future; it provided advance indications of the comfortable or uncomfortable situations that could lead to the blissful or miserable state. Sometimes his one single question would relate to several aspects, while his one answer could solve many problems. Quite a few liberation-seekers got the solution of their problems from his talks and their minds were set at rest. He could talk without hurting any viewpoint. His talk was full of inner meaning, but at times it could be amusing too. He used to talk in suggestive tone, not in a commanding one, but it was effective. During his student career the boarders used to bring shawls, blankets etc. for protection against the cold of winter. Their cost could vary from Rs. 2/- to Rs. 50/- That time he used to say that more the money, the colder one feels. Dr. Shantibhäi once asked whether he should start reading English books. Brahmachäriji asked him to do so, if he could not stay without chilies. That reply may seem irrelevant, but it actually served two purposes. One was to indicate that English reading was not going to help him and the other was to give a hint for discontinuing chilies, because Shäntibhäi had started eating chilies after a long time. A person once asked whether he should go to Africa. Pat came the reply, 'That is akin to getting married.' That man did not want to marry, but was feeling perturbed due to pressure for getting married. Taking a hint from the reply he decided not to marry and also not to go to Africa. There arose once a serious but delicate occasion. One well-known liberation-seeker was not sure about Brahmchäriji's attainment of enlightenment. He decided to ask him and said, 'If enlightenment is gained, please let us know; do not keep us in dark.' The meaningful reply was, 'whoever gains is going to get from within, not from without.' Another significant aspect of his talk was that he took everything from the spiritual angle. His daughter in law once came to Ashram. During their talks they happened to refer to the family aspects. In light of the advantages of living in joint family Brahmachäriji asked, 'Is everything going on jointly?' She replied 'yes', but amusingly asked him to come home and divide the property between the two families. Brahmachäriji replied, 'The things do stand divided. What is required is to make out the difference between the body and the soul; it is necessary to separate soul from the physical aspects." His silence was more powerful than the talk. His remaining silent looked like giving instructions. Fancies Page #19 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ and defiling instincts used to evaporate in his presence. He looked like a banyan tree under which everyone could get the rest. From his face one could get the glimpse of nonattachment and of desireless state. During last year of his life when he had to stay at Näsik for three months, he remained so detached that everyone was induced to observe silence in his presence; that time everything looked dreamlike. He had maintained his body under full control and kept it uptight. He would move alone in the midst of hills and canyons. When some liberation-seekers were with him, he would always be ahead of them; it was hard for others to keep pace with him. He maintained that strength and zeal till he was 64. Since he adopted celibacy in 1925, he had avoided taking bath or resorting to sponging, kneading, massaging, etc. (Sponging had to be resorted to while undergoing medical treatment during the last year of his life). Still his body remained clean, bright and luminous. He hardly availed of sleep or rest. At times, the nights were passed while meditating in lotus or standing posture. He hardly took rest for an hour or two, yet he remained fit till the age of 60; it seemed, he was neither old nor young. Not only did he remain busy with study, devotion and meditation, but also induced the liberation-seekers to resort to the same to the extent possible. He used to undertake tour every year and took the liberationseekers to different places in Charotar, Dhäman, Märwäd etc. At his hand were set up Shrimad Rajchandra Ashrams at Bhädran, Sadodarä, Kävithä, Dhäman, Ähor etc. He made them the centers of worship. He was also enthusiastic of going on pilgrimage. Every two or three years he would undertake pilgrimage along with 100/200 or even 500 liberation-seekers. He had been to Mt. Abu, Shatrunjay, Girnär, Rajkot, Vaväniä etc. in Gujarat, Indore, Ujjain etc. in Madhya Pradesh, Kesariäji, Näkodä, Panchtirhi, Jesalmer etc. in Rajsthän, Mathurä, Ayodhyä, Käshi etc. in Uttar Pradesh and Sametshikhar, Räjgruhi, Päväpuri etc. in Zärkhand. He did not forget the South and had been to Näsik. Mahäbaleshwar, Bhadrävati, Kärikal, Mudbidri, Shravanbelgodä, Ramanäshram etc. During the pilgrimages he used to point out to the liberationseekers the significance of the places concerned. Simultaneously he used to continue the work of translating the books like Jnänsär or composing of Self-realization. Chapter 7; Evaluation It is, of course, hard to evaluate the life of a great man like Brahmachäriji. It can, however, be said with certainty that he had experienced the soul and that had led to the manifestation of utter devotion and spirituality in his life. By virtue of his extra-ordinary genius he could make out that devotion does not consist of mere lifeless rituals, the true devotion should lead to liberation. One could see from his life that spiritualism is not merely bare verbal knowledge; it is the vigilant, meaningful endeavor for a delighted life. He was not merely a visionary, he had a real, concrete and accurate approach that cannot be measured by our yardsticks. After renouncing the worldly life he consistently stayed away from all the concepts related to personality, property or sense-objects. To him the devotion for Graceful Lord was the great endeavor for realizing the Self. Shrimad has said, "Always keep it in mind that I do not belong to any sect or creed; I abide within the soul.... Religious are the ways by which one can gain the true concept; those, which turn to other concepts, are not religious.... All souls are like the liberated ones and one who understands gets liberated: the precepts of true Guru and the state of omniscience are among the instrumental causes... Saintly is he, who continually stays within the Self, whose words can come to the experiential level even though they might not occur in scriptures or are not even heard of, and who has no desire whatsoever, it is hard to say anything beyond that." In tune with those words Brahmachäriji remained totally unaffected even during the adverse times. That he was above such aspects can be seen from the fact he could prepare the commentary of a tough composition like Samädhishatak during the adverse time, thereby he has stamped the mark of victory over the hard time. In that composition he has put the words of great men in meaningful order. The level required for preparing it can be gauged from the following description of Samadhishatak narrated by him. Page #20 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ "That book was composed by Poojyapädswämi and is capable to lead to the quietude. It would be vitally significant to those, who aspire to advance spiritually. Its 17th stanza is very significant. If one sincerely resorts to it for one month, he can realize the soul. The author has reached the climax by 50" stanza. It is a short composition, but many scriptures can be composed thereon. "Samadhishatak is like a law-book, which can solve many problems arising at internal level. One can refer to it any time when the necessity arises. While being a short text, quite a few books can be based on it. One can realize its significance to the extent of his own worthiness. It can, however, be said that when one comes across something in a text that corroborates his experience, he gets a strong support; he feels pleased and gets the incentive to go ahead." In Ätmasiddhishästra it is said: Ek Hoy Tran Kalaman, Paramarathano Panth; Prere Te Paramarthane Te Vyavahär Samant. (There is only one path of quietude for all the time; the practice that leads to the bliss is worth adopting.) Brahmachäriji's depth in scriptural realm can be seen from the fact that after straining their contents he has presented their essence in a way that can be put into practice. That is the proof of his live spiritualism. Prajnävbodh and commentaries of Samädhishatak as well as of Atmasiddhishästra provide the evidence thereof. The secret of his expertise in scriptural realm lay in his truthful, unobstructed and pure perception. Remaining true to the Self gave sharpness to that perception. The truthfulness was evident in all his works, whether they related to writing of letters, composing of texts, preparing commentaries or mere instructions. While writing the life of Shrimad Rajchandra he has stated in 'Blissful Words': "I am undertaking this work of narrating the life of the great man with the wholesome intention of being helpful to those, who intend to look at the glory of Shrimad Rajchandra and also of turning my tendency towards his esteemed words and ascetic life. I have held this pen after being convinced of the wholesome and all-round beneficial nature of the work." His words came out of his approach to life. That could have been noticed from the letter to his brother given in chapter 3. He was not a professional writer; his approach in writing was spiritual. This can be easily made out from Prajnävbodh. A liberation-seeker had once brought to him the manuscript of Prajnävbodh prepared by himself and said, 'Since no one has so far written Prajnavbodh, I have prepared it as per my ability, please see if there need to be any corrections or additions.' Brahmachäriji went through it and said with the sense of intimacy, "This needs to be done by the self-experienced; one can surely write for study's sake, but to write on the pattern specified by the Graceful Lord requires Self-experience." Equally unique was his endeavor resulting from his spiritual perception. He always remained vigil and left no stone unturned in overcoming character-related delusion. For that purpose he never cared for the body. When he went to Idar, Mt. Abu or Girnär on pilgrimage, he used to spend the nights in terrific wilderness among caves and hills. He used to stand in Käusagga at steep places. If he happened to doze or developed numbness, he could fall deep in the creek below. During his stay at Simardä he passed night after night undertaking Käusagga at risky places. If someone pointed out towards the necessity for sleep or rest, he would say that sleep needs to be overcome, not to be resorted to. His capacity of bearing pain was noticed when his thumb was ruptured at Baroda while traveling from Bombay. He had lost one eye, but the people came to know of it six months after the loss. Similarly they came to know of the acute pain at his waist and foot a year and a half later. The fact of his neurotic system having been affected by being slapped at his temples by an evil spirit came to be known after his death. The unending vigor operating behind his endeavor resulted from his unique devotion to Guru. He used to say that knowledge is unending, no one can fathom it. It lies in soul, lies within the enlightened and cannot be gained from without. It is manifested in proportion to the internal purity; and devotion is the easiest and the safest way for attaining purity. If one dedicates himself to the enlightened, if he gives up worldly identification and stays in contact with the enlightened, he can gain the knowledge of the latter. One should therefore make up his mind not to aspire for anything different from what the Graceful Lord has suggested. He used to say that whatever else one wanted to read should be for understanding the words of Graceful Page #21 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ Lord; life is worth living only for that purpose; one needs to live as well as die at his shelter. His following words are very significant: 'They are the heroes who hold the Graceful Lord in every part of embodiment.' That could be evident by coming in contact with him. It seemed as if he had forsaken himself within the Graceful Lord. That had come to a stage where he did not need to make any effort; everything seemed to occur at ease. His faculties used to function innately. No effort was noticeable; it looked as if some unfathomable energy was functioning automatically. The presence of Graceful Lord was always noticeable in his proximity. One could hear the voice: ‘Everything happens by the ascetic force of Graceful Lord; one should therefore act as per his commands.' If someone asked him, 'Is Graceful Lord going to come for commanding?' he would reply, "That is quite possible; Prabhushri used to say that the Graceful Lord is present and the enlightened one can talk to him. The Graceful Lord had told Prabhushri not to see any difference between him and the detached Lords. How can one believe it unless he has firm faith therein?" On one occasion this became clear. The sister's son of Graceful Lord, daughter Jawalnen and her daughters had once been to Ashram. They asked, "Who is to revive the religion fifty years after passing away of the Graceful Lord?” Brahmachäriji replied, "Those who accept the Graceful Lord as godly and stay devoted to him can do it. Others cannot manifest him; they are the obscurers. Whatever meaning one may derive out of his words that he knew what was at the heart of Lord Mahavir, it is obvious that those, who knew what was at Shrimad's heart, can bring him to light. It is, however, not easy to make out what was at his heart." Regarding his compositions the mention has been made earlier of Prabhushri's biography, Vivekbävani, Jnänsär, Jnänmanjari, Prajnävbodh, Self-realization, commentaries of Atmasiddhi and Samadhishatak, and Jivankalä. Moreover he has prepared Sämädhisopan based on Ratnakarand Shrävakächär of Samantbhadra and Laghuyogväsishtha based on Yogväsishtha, Praveshikä and Explanation of Ath Drshtini Sajzäy. He has thus left to us a very valuable heritage. Besides that he has devised Nityaniyamädi Päth, which has been of immense help to liberation-seekers in undertaking daily worship. Moreover, he regularly used to give talks, of which some liberation-seekers had taken notes. Mokshamälä Vivechan has been prepared based on his elucidation of the text. His talks relating to general topics have been compiled and published in Bodhämrut part 1, while those relating to Shrimad's Vachanämrut are included in part 2. In addition he used to write letters to the liberation-seekers, who were looking to his advice. 1025 of them inclusive of his letter addressed to his elder brother, two letters addressed to Prabhushri and 19 letters addressed to Graceful Lord (treating him as live Guru) have been published in Bodhämrut part 3. They are highly valuable to truth seekers. During his last days Brahmachäriji used to sit with others every morning for proof-reading the press copy of Prabhushri's teachings. Two days prior to his passing away he pointed out that it was necessary to work in the evenings too so that the work could be finished soon. That evening he said, 'I pray for forgiveness. Now I do not want to say anything to anyone; I do not want to point out the faults even if they ask for.... If one feels that there is no one to point out and he has to get rid of his faults, he would try for that. We need to face the death in quietude; we are also destined to die." In the last letter written on November 12 1953 i.e. the day before his passing away he had stated as under. "It is true that the worldly life is full of affliction as pointed out by the enlightened. It cannot allow even the enlightened beings to live at ease and hence they have turned their back towards it; they have closed their eyes towards it because there is nothing worth seeing therein; they have resorted to inaction because there is nothing to be done about it. Assuming the lotus posture they have stopped making movement. One, who is inclined towards detachment, needs to resort to objectivity. Whatever is seen happens as destined; it is not worth attaching importance to it. In the worldly life one comes across different circumstances in which his ability is put to test. By resorting to the absolute state the enlightened beings have reduced the unfathomable worldly life to the size of a cow-hoof and have crossed over it. Page #22 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________ "Knowing that the death may occur at any time the enlightened beings have been strengthening the soul by augmenting their detachment till the attainment of omniscience; we need to stay firm for supreme well being while resorting to those great men. ... Equanimity is the source of protection in every situation. ....Always keep the death in mind. All of us are like guests." On the last day after finishing the evening session he went for toilet as usual. After coming back he washed his hand and feet and went to Rajmandir, where he attained the ultimate quietude in the Kausagga posture. Though Brahmachariji is not physically present, the following lines continue to echo his total dedication to the Graceful Lord. Krupaluni Krupa Dhari. Banishun Poorna Brahmachari; Sahanshilata Kshama Dhari, Saji Samata Niti Sari. With the grace of Shrimad Rajchandra we shall be absorbed in pure consciousness by resorting to the bearing capacity, forgiveness, total morality as well as equanimity. Karishun Karya Suvichari, Kashayo Sarva Nivari; Ganishun Mat Parnari, Pitasam Parpurush Dhari. We shall do everything thoughtfully, shall avert all the defilements, treat all the women except wife as mothers and all the men except husband as fathers. Jivishun Jivan Sudhari, Swaparane Atmahitkari; Banine Alpasansari, Ughadi Mokshani Bari. We shall improve our lifestyle and lead a life that is beneficial to us as well as to others; we shall shorten the worldly wandering and open the gate of liberation. Khani Kubodhai Kyari, Vicharashun Vasana Mari; Samarpi Sarva Swamine, Tarishun Sarvane Tari We shall weed out the bed of wrong teaching and move about free from wrong fancies; by dedicating everything to the Lord we shall cross over and help others in crossing over.