Brahmachariji

SR No.: 007622
Original Sutra Author: N/A
Author: Manu Doshi
Publisher: Manu Doshi
Total Pages: 22
Language: English
Classification: Book_English
File Size: 258 KB

Page 10

used to get such emotions for renouncement many a time, but in absence of clear idea about the right place it could have amounted to a leap in the dark. I was therefore passing time waiting for an opportunity.
I feel that I was simultaneously consuming the Karma of availing the worldly life. Though my son Vitthal survived only for three years, he gave me as much worry as one gets for raising a son up to 30 years. I had considered about his education, the arrangements to be made for the purpose, how I should behave as the father etc. In short I had harbored a greater sense of attachment for him than for any other worldly aspect. I did not, however, make out that his body was mortal. That was similar to the darkness prevailing under a lamp. Such drawbacks prevail in all the activities of the worldly beings. We talk of wisdom, but that does not have any experiential basis; it is more or less parrot-like. I had even thought of what I should give him in heritage. By virtue of some earlier wholesome Karma it had occurred to me that the best heritage a father can leave consists of observing the best conduct. I therefore did not dream of his prosperity or of getting him married and raising a big family. By way of heritage I had wished that he should lead the best possible life as per my concept and that he should fulfill the task left incomplete by me.
Similarly I had thought of completing the work left behind by our father. With a view to spending the rest of life in devotion he had started observing Marjäd, separated himself from the home life and had given up the body while observing the same. Though he did not have the earnestness to give up the worldly life, he did get alert at the fag end. Setting himself apart by observing Marjäd was similar to one's saving as much as possible when the house is on fire. I have not forgotten it, nor am I ever going to forget it.
You have so far undertaken the burden of worldly life and have been managing the family matters; I have luckily stayed away. I have been living in search of spiritual bliss and have been endeavoring to attain the same. While you have been trying to maintain and augment the social prestige, I have been trying to augment what I have gained from the parents and from the Guru. I am now craving for the superb state and am prepared to give up everything for that purpose. I am narrating the difficulties in that respect with the intent that my work would be easy, if I get help and blessing from you as the elder brother.
I am sure of having gained the right Guide; I am not old enough to get tired of proceeding on the path indicated by him, nor am I going to be content with a superfluous gain. By the grace of God I have not been afflicted with agedness or disease and hence it is possible for me to reach my goal. Of the earlier said four factors of worry, you have so far helped me in remaining free from the family worries. Now I need your help and blessing all the more. If you therefore agree to take care of Babu, I would endeavor to get freed from the worries pertaining to the Society and my physique. I have made sure that by staying a few years in the favorable circumstances obtaining in Ashram I would be able to avert forever the worries pertaining to Society, family, Babu as well as my physique. I feel that after giving up all those worries I would have never to recollect the same by the grace of Guru. I also feel that longing for the worldly comforts and happiness would not arise, even if I come across much hardship.
The question would be, 'what would happen if I come across superior type of worldly situations?' By virtue of Guru's grace and by remaining at his shelter as well as by getting trained under those saints I hope to attain a state where my mind would remain steady even in such favorable circumstances. I am particular to get initiated early, because if I try to lead the life of detachment in the circumstances obtaining in the Ashram, there is good possibility of steadying my tendencies under the aegis of Laghuräjswämi.
From my observation of the worldly life I have learnt that even if one aspires to get wealth, many a times it takes time before his target can be accomplished; but if one is firm for renouncement, he does not need much time in implementing it. What comes in the way is laxity and ignorance. I want to spend the remaining life in getting rid of ignorance. Simultaneously I want to fight against the laxity. Since I see the possibility of getting the training which can enable me to withstand highly tempting situations in this life, I am out to undertake the task, which all of you consider very hard.
I need a desireless and self-realized Guru, who could be instrumental in removing my shortfalls. Since I have access to such a Guru, I request you with folded hands to bless me in the enterprise. You might remember that when I thought of going back to school, you did not come in the way and gave me all possible help. In that case why should you have any objection to my undertaking this noble task? Please