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it actually did! Upon reflection, I began to see how previously I was looking for an external, objective justification for the inequalities that troubled me. But in reality no such universal factors existed. Rather, in order to understand why my boss would shout at me, I had to look a little closer to home. I came to understand that I was the source of all my personal experiences, and that the events of my day-to-day life were directly connected to interactions that I had instigated in the past. With the knowledge of the human soul and an awareness that I had lived on this planet many times before my present birth, I came to see how my current relationships were nothing other than the energy returning to me from other souls, that I had previously passed to them.
I studied accounts of a Shinto priest who upon entering into a state of meditation in the presence of someone else, began to witness the acts this person had carried out in their previous incarnation. On one occasion his mother came before him. For years the priest's father had physically abused his wife, even though she had done little to warrant such behaviour, always treating her husband with respect and gentle care. In meditation however, the priest witnessed how his mother had been married to her present husband in their previous life. But in that birth she had been the husband and he the wife. In that relationship she had been the abuser, and had treated her husband in a manner that was not dissimilar to the way he was now abusing her. The priest clearly saw how their current relationship was simply the settling of a karmic account she had perpetuated in their previous life together.
As a result, my view of my boss's behaviour changed. Before, I would question myself as to what right she had to act in this way and how unfair it all was since I had done nothing to warrant such treatment. But now I accepted that I was only receiving energy that I had previously given out to her, albeit not necessarily during our present relationship. I therefore had no right to blame her for acting in this way, and it would be better to focus upon the way in which I chose to respond to her. Instead of returning her actions with more negativity of my own making, I should seek to break that cycle and begin to create more positive karma by offering her even more love and respect than I had done before. For I knew that in time the negative account would settle. As the effect of my transformed attitude begins to kick in, a new and more productive chapter in our on-going karmic relationship would result, which we would both come to appreciate.
Once I accepted that I was the architect of my own life experience, I began to resolve many questions. But then I found myself wondering what the motivation behind karma might be if indeed there was one!
At university I chose to study the classical Indian traditions
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of thought upon which Jainism, Hinduism and Buddhism are ultimately based. In doing so my understanding of the soul was greatly enhanced and I came to believe that at this moment every human being basically consists of two separate identities - a pure spirit and acquired personality. Whilst essentially I am an individual comprised of the purest energy manifested in the form of love, purity, wisdom, joy and truth, over time I have lost touch with this self-awareness and with these divine qualities. Instead, I have come to identify the self in physical terms, such as gender, age and the beliefs and roles which I see myself carrying out. As a result, an acquired personality emerges based upon the way I come to perceive myself and how others see me.
"I am the architect of my own life experience and do not blame anyone
for my problems."
Still, deep down my true self is bursting to emerge once again, and here is where karma fits in. I believe that my events and experiences are influenced by my latent spiritual self who needs them as opportunities to develop those virtues and qualities that have become lost within me. With this view, our world becomes like a karmic gymnasium, whereby situations come my way specifically to address spiritual deficiencies within my emerging nature. Just as in a gym one would find different apparatuses to exercise different muscles within the body, I believe the human soul designs specific situations in order to develop parts of itself which have been lacking before.
Why Me?
In the case of my boss, I feel that my spirit sought a job in the company where she was, not only to settle a karmic account between us, but also to help me learn to overcome my ego and practise the qualities of tolerance and love more deeply. In choosing to see potential problems in this way, instead of reacting and creating even deeper karmic problems for myself, I have come to realise that I can use them to actually assist me in my journey to return to spiritual completion and perfection.
My questions have been replaced lately with an understanding that the things I previously thought were unfair are actually perfectly fair, as they have a directly attributable cause and reason for being. But more than that, each situation is my teacher, and a very useful and well-meaning one at that! For never being able to catch a bus to get to work on time, or persisting with a car which I love dearly even though it continually breaks down are actually situations which have been designed and sent to me to help me become the perfect being that deep down I really am. The only thing I have to do to return to that state is to be open to see the underlying reason for every occurrence which comes my way, and actively practise the spiritual quality and understanding it is asking of
me.
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Ravi Khanna is a freelance writer, consultant and trainer in the Brahma Kumaris Spiritual University, London and Oxford.
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September November 2002 Jain Spirit
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