________________
fears are different from parents' fear. My inspiration for this essay came from the fear that I saw among young adults. In talking to various people about writing an essay that dealt with non-traditional issues, I began to see a trend of fear. First, there were many women who voiced that they had wanted to write about some issues and concerns that are very important to them, however they were sure that society would be angry and that they and their family would have to suffer because society would make it difficult for them. It seems clear that they were afraid. They knew that society would not be able to tolerate unconventional or non-traditional ideas. Out of this fear and concern for their parents many women did not write essays on topics that need to be talked about. The second incident had to do with a young adult male, whom I do not know very well, but I get the impression that he is an intelligent and concerned individual. After discussing many of my essay ideas with him, I received the warning that I should be careful, that I should not be too liberal or too radical. I got the impression that there were certain topics that I could not discuss because society would become upset. After hearing these types of things from youths my age, I realized that there is a serious problem in our communityfear of communication, sharing of ideas and concerns, and talking openly about issues. I think that our community has done an excellent job on spreading Jainism and creating more Jain events, but our community has failed in terms of teaching us how to live our daily lives in terms of utilizing Jainism to deal with the issues that are in all of our heads, but those that we are all afraid to address.
Communication is lacking in two main areas-at home between parents and their kids, and in the type of education that kids receive from their religious society. Parents need to engage in interactive communication with their kids. An example of this would be to ask your kids what they think is right or wrong instead of only telling them what you think. By interacting in this way, the kids will learn more and remember it longer. For young children, the parents are responsible in terms of starting the
Jain Education International
communication. However college age youths should really try to talk to their parents, even if you know that they have views different from yours. It is important to let your parents know who you are and what things are important to you. Communication between parents and their kids is effective when both sides are willing to listen to the other's point of view. It is effective when the fear of 'what will they think' is removed from the situation. Jainism teaches us to be open and honest, to avoid or minimize mental and verbal violence. The times when these types of violence is most often witnessed is when people are being stubborn, rigid, and close-minded.
Our Jain societies educate us about Jainism by inviting gurus, swamis, learned scholars, etc...to come and speak to us. I honestly feel that most kids cannot relate to these scholars who basically study Jainism and spend much of their time in India. What we think we need is education in Jainism in terms of the basic principles, fundamentals, goals and ideas. Then we need people to talk to us about how to apply our learned Jain principles to issues in our daily life. At this time I know of only one man that has achieved this. Pravin Shah from Raleigh, North Carolina, came to the Atlanta Jain Society one year ago and he taught youths 15 and up for two days. The first day he clearly told us that we were going to learn the Fundamentals of Jainism and that later we would apply these fundamentals to any and all issues that the youth wanted to bring up. The next day we covered topics such as abortion, the death penalty, suicide etc...using the principles of purusharth, nimit, upadan and the karma theory. I learned more that day and remember it more than anything I learned from visiting scholars in eight years.
I feel that there is a need for both types of scholars. Parents can fulfill the role to some degree that Pravin uncle did for me on a daily basis. He was an excellent listener, someone you could argue with and challenge without fear. It is easy to say that we should all communicate openly and honestly, but doing it is difficult. The point is that we should all try 62
For Private & Personal Use Only
www.jainelibrary.org