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10th Biennial JAINA Convention
Conflict Resolution Tools In Jain Philosophy
Darshana Shah
What is a family? Family is like a magnificent tropical tree, with branches swaying in the wind but anchored firmly to the ground by a strong heavy supporting trunk. Storms and hurricanes come and go. A few poorly linked branches break away. But the tree weathers it all and continues to stand tall, giving shade, shelter, and pleasure to all those who seek solace in its presence. Over the years, however, the conditions have changed, the branches are weakened and breaking away, and the tree is becoming increasingly barren.
Once upon a time, family included brothers, sisters, grandparents, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, and even everyone in the same tribe or the same village. In fact, all those who shared common goals and values, loved, respected, and protected each other formed a family. Modern times have hacked away these branches. Nieces and nephews, uncles and aunts have fallen by the wayside. This barren sickly looking trunk of a tree is euphemistically called the nuclear family. Now we wonder if it will survive.
What breaks down a family? What are the causes for the erosion of this noble institution? It is easy to blame external factor such as TV, economy, cities, materialism, emigration, and so on. However, is not conflict the real reason for the breakdown of any relationship? How does conflict arise? The root causes of conflict lie within our own minds. Human desire to want more, and to dominate and exploit others is perhaps the main reason for any conflict. Here, the teachings of Jain religion, its philosophy and rational thinking can help. The five basic principles or great vows of Jainism are ahimsa (nonviolence), satya (truthfulness), asteya (non-stealing), brahmacharya (celibacy), and aparigraha (non-possession).
Let us examine the first vow, Ahimsa, in detail. The idea of non-violence is based on a deep reverence for all life. The reverence for all life begins by cultivating a genuine respect for one self. One should make a determination that one will not take any hurtful influence into his or her body or mind. This implies that one should try not to be upset by the unpleasant happenings in one's life. Such an attitude helps to curb feelings of anger, greed, depression, frustration etc. It promotes feelings of brotherhood towards all human beings. It helps to cultivate feeling of equality of all living beings. It helps to minimize intentional violence.
Violence though is not always physical. Verbal and mental violence is also harems and destructive of family. When one gets in an argument, one gets angry, insults others, deceives, and becomes suspicious of others. Not only does this verbal and mental violence hurt the person it is directed to; it also hurts one's own self. It works like a matchstick, before igniting something else; it burns its own mouth.
The second vow lays stress on truthfulness. It is obvious that truthfulness and openness can help any relationship, but it must be practiced to reap its benefits.
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