________________
We would then turn inward and stop seeking pleasure from sensuous contacts. The way of observing celibacy is therefore to gain the realization about the true source of pleasure.
In Indian mythology there is an interesting story about the god of love who is known as Kämdev. He rouses passion among his targets by darting the arrows of flowers. There is another god Shiv, who likes to stay tuned to his Self. Once, Kämdev threw his arrow at Shiv and disturbed his peace. When Shiv realized that the disturbance was caused by Kämdev's arrow, he got enraged; he opened his third eye lying in the forehead and reduced Kämdev to ashes with fire emanating from that eye. Kämdev thus lost his body by misadventure. Since body is called Ang, the bodiless Kämdev is known as Anang.
The story is symbolic and tells a lot, if correctly interpreted. Kämdev is symbolic of sensual instinct and his arrow stands for sensuality. Shiv means bliss. It is gained by enlightenment, which is symbolized as the third eye lying in the forehead. The fire from that eye is symbolic of enlightenment. Shiv experiences happiness by staying in his own blissful state and does not hanker for external source of pleasure. When Kämdev tried to divert his attention towards sensuous pleasure, he indicated to Kämdev the nature of true pleasure by extending to him the enlightenment. Thereby Kämdev realized that the body is not the source of true pleasure. He got rid of the physical sense and became Anang or bodiless, which means that he could derive the true pleasure from the unembodied soul.
The story thus shows that the sensuous pleasure is worthless and should be avoided for experiencing spiritual pleasure. Once we realize that all sources, other than the soul, are devoid of true pleasure, our mind would automatically turn away from them. Then it would be easier to observe celibacy, because we know that we would be observing it for gaining the true pleasure. In order to make that observance more effective, we may adopt restrictions that can aid and promote our realization. That is the right way of observing celibacy. But that is meant for those aspirants who have attained a high spiritual level.
Sexual urge being more or less irresistible for most of the people, those who cannot observe celibacy are advised to get married and stay in Gruhashthäshram. Marriage has been devised mainly for providing sheltered sex and procreation. But that life need not be unrestrained. Married people are therefore supposed to observe this restraint in modified form. Though mythology abounds in polygamy for males, monogamy has been accepted as a model and should be the object of pursuit for an average man. Keeping the males in view, Jainism calls the modified form of this restraint as Swadäräsantosh. Swadärä means one's own wife and Santosh means content. Therefore, the term means staying contented with the wife. By implication, it also denotes staying satisfied with one's husband.
But, sex life for a house holder should not be unrestrained or lustful. Jainism therefore lays down the following five activities as transgressions of this restraint, i) premarital sex, ii) extramarital sex, iii) lustful play, iv) undue indulgence in others' weddings etc. and v) intensified attachment. The third category also covers incest, gay life, masturbation, pornography etc. that need to be avoided. If a person therefore stays aware of his instinct and properly observes this restraint, he or she can lead a happy married life, beget and raise children and lead stable family life. Such persons would obviously refrain from