________________
102
life without Conflict
life without Conflict
103
can be their security blanket or safety net, do they not? There is attraction towards the worldly life but once you enter it, you find it suffocating but then you cannot get out. There is a saying:
"The one who eats the wooden ladoo, regrets doing so but so does the one who does not eat it.'
People get married and then they regret doing so. Regret however, brings experiential knowledge. Is it not necessary to learn through experience? Is it possible to attain detachment (vairagya) towards the worldly life by merely reading books? Detachment is acquired only through regret.
Choosing A Life Partner
choosing a bride: go and see the girl and if your eyes are attracted, then that is the sign and the cue to get married and if there is no attraction, then he may say no.
Insult & Vengeance In arranged marriages when young men go to choose a bride, they scrutinize the girls and tell them, "Turn around, turn this way, turn that way. Stand this way.' One boy was doing this and I told him, 'Your mother was a daughter-inlaw once too. What kind of a man are you?' How insulting is it to the woman! Today there is an over abundance of girls and that is why girls are being insulted so. In the times gone by these very fools were the subject of ridicule themselves and now they are getting even. In their past lives, five hundred or so of these foolish princes would present themselves in a line one after another at a king's court hoping to be the chosen one for the princess's betrothal. As the princess would walk by with a garland for her potential groom, these fools stood begging with their necks extended forward, each assuming he would be the one! As the princess would walk past them, each fool felt so insulted that he would not bleed even if he got cut. What an unbearable insult! And that even for wanting to be married! It is better to remain a bachelor.
There was a girl who did not want to get married, so her parents brought her to me. I explained to her, 'In life there is no choice but get married and there is no choice but regret getting married.' I told her that it would be better for her to leave aside all her crying and protests and just get married. I told her that no matter what kind of a man she married, she would have a husband. Having a husband will stop people pointing a finger at her. I explained to her the science of how girls should decide on a husband. She understood and got married. She did not find her husband attractive but married him nevertheless because that is what I told her to do. She acquired Gnan before getting married and she did not cross or question a single word I told her. She is very happy now.
Boys are very critical when it comes to choosing a bride. She's too tall. She's too short. She's too fat or she's too thin. She's too dark.' You fool! Is she a water buffalo or something? You should explain to your son the method for
Nowadays, even girls scrutinize the boys and make them turn this way and that way, saying, 'Let me see how you look! Just imagine! You are the one who discovered this system of scrutiny and now you are the victim of it. Just look at your predicament! Instead is it not better to have no such systems? You dug the hole and now you have to lie in
It is only in the past five thousand years or so that men