Harmony in Marriage

SR No.: 007548
Original Sutra Author: N/A
Author: Dada Bhagwan
Publisher: Dada Bhagwan Foundation
Publication Year: 2001
Total Pages: 69
Language: English
Classification: Book_English & Akram Vigyan
File Size: 9 KB

Page 38

Harmony in Marriage
Harmony in Marriage
Gnan?
Dadashri: Yes! After I attained Gnan, then I came to understand her. Otherwise one will not be able to understand. A person does not have the capacity to understand or see his wife. A man is not able to understand himself, as to what he is all about, let alone the wife. Therefore, this sentence that we understand each other' has no meaning. No mistake was made in choosing each other.
(276) Questioner: Explain to me how I should come to understand. How can one slowly and subtly understand her with love? How can a husband do that for his wife, explain this.
Dadashri: When can you understand? When you make her your equal. Next, give her space. When you play the game of checkers, you enjoy the game only when both sides have equal rights in taking turns. However, here where do they give equal rights? I give equal rights.
Questioner: How do you do this? How can this be done practically?
Dadashri: Even in your mind you should not regard her as a separate entity, and she should not feel separate from you. Even when her speech is inappropriate, you should treat her as an equal; in this manner you will not bring any pressure on her.
So try to recognize the other person's prakruti (inherent characteristics/tendencies). Then try to find some other ways that can help you. Don't I try different methods to get people to do things? Don't people do as I tell them? They do and it is not because I have the skills, but because I use different methods. They do not feel that they are under any pressure.
Even if you do not like staying at home, you have to say to her that I do not like being away from you'. Only then will you be able attain liberation. Now that you have met Dada, you will definitely attain liberation.
Questioner: Do you say that to Hiraba? Dadashri: Yes, I say that to Hiraba, even now.
Even at my age I say this to Hiraba, 'Even I do not like it when I am away from you'. Now she probably would be asking herself, 'I like it, why does he not like it?' When you speak in this manner, then your home life will be full of harmony. Pour some butter on it, enrich your life with your wife, otherwise it will be too dry. Pour in some beautiful feelings. Here she is sitting, as I speak. She asks me 'Do I come in your thoughts?' I say "Yes, very much. All these other folks come to my mind, why not you?' really, she is in my thoughts.
(278) Our life is ideal. Even Hiraba will say come home early.
When can one be said to have fulfilled the role of a husband? It is when the wife develops a constant reverence for him. What should a husband be like? He should never ever let any difficulties befall on the wife or the children. what should the wife be like? She would never cause problems for him. She would be constantly living with this awareness. (279)
Chapter 17
QUARRELS WITH WIFE When husband and wife are fighting verbally, it is generally superficial. They do not harbour any vengeance from within. If you interfere in them, you will get into problems whereas they will unite with each other. When a fight does