________________
Aptavani-9
Aptavani-9
for that morning. So I checked further to see what I had lost during the day and discovered that at the end of the day I gained nothing and on the contrary I lost out. Later everyone in the house tried to appease me by giving me a lot of importance but I lost my morning milk nevertheless. As a child I saw what happens in becoming upset and non-communicative, and I concluded that I lost out in doing so, therefore I stopped it all together. Does a person not lose out?
Questioner: Yes he does.
Dadashri: Now we have become the Self, so this is not applicable to us anymore. Have you ever become upset and non-communicative (risavu)? Does anyone become upset and non-communicative at home?
Questioner: No. Dadashri: That is good.
Questioner: You said you lost out in your morning milk because of your obstinacy (aadayee). How old were you?
Dadashri: I was about nine or ten then.
Questioner: But Dada, even we did the same thing. We too missed our share of milk at that age. We too were left hungry but we still continued the obstinacy, so how did you stop?
Dadashri: My morning milk and everything went. I concluded that all the loss was due to my obstinacy. Obstinacy is filled with losses, so stop it. One should not be obstinate.
Was all that not obstinacy on my part when I insisted questioning 'Why do I get only this much milk?' Why could I not just let go and drink it? I thought that maybe I will have my way the next time. Do you know what I used to tell my mother? 'Why do you give me half a cup of milk when you give my sister-in-law half a cup also? Give her less. 'I was happy with
what I got, I did not want any more, but I wanted my sister-in law to have less than me. So what did my mother tell me? 'Your mother is here, her mother is not, is she? I have to give her the same otherwise the poor girl will feel bad.' I was still not satisfied. My mother continued to explain things and reason with me; she kept patching up the situation. However, one day I became obstinate and lost out and so I decided never to do so again. Generally people would say, Just let him be. Would that not happen? Thereafter he never became upset and non
communicative Questioner: To instantly recognize a loss is vaniyabuddhi (the intellect of a baniya-business man), is it not?
Dadashri: It is nothing like that. Vaniya-intellect is vanik-intellect. Vanik-intellect means thoughtful intellect. It is wise intellect. Having understood the loss, one would never incur that loss again. Would he?
You lose when you become upset and non-communicative (risavu). What will others do if you do so, throw a tantrum and refuse to eat dinner? Will they all stay awake for you? They will go to sleep when it is time, so you will be the only loser.
What a cycle of becoming upset and non-communicative (risavu) and the appeasement that follows? And who would bother pampering and appeasing? When the dinner is ready, they will call out, 'Uncle, please come down for dinner. It is ready and everyone is waiting for you.' The uncle will say, 'Go, I am not coming. Would everyone beg him over and over to come? Would they not start eating without him?
So I never became upset and non-communicative (risavu) again. Even now, I never become upset and non-communicative with anyone. Not even with our business partner. He used to become so occasionally, but not seeing any reaction within 'us' he stopped being that way again.