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used as a weapon to compete and argue. There should not be any competition. Competitiveness spardha , chadas are worldly things and will keep you in it.
Grace and awareness are different
As awareness jagruti increases, the kashayas that lie smoldering or dormant oopsham will be destroyed. One will have to take advantage of this awareness. These external karmas (which present through an external nimit and ignite the kashaya) lie smoldering and they die through samayik focused application of the light of the Self on the events of kashayas that happened. However, nothing is guaranteed until one become 'tested'- devoid of any reaction to a future situation which would have otherwise give rise to a kashaya. Such 'test examinations in life are necessary.
Awareness jagruti is that which 'sees' this, 'sees this and see everything.' That is jagruti. This 'Dada' remains in memory yaad all day long. And this awareness 'I am Shuddhatma' is because of 'Dada'. It is there because of 'Dada'. It is called the fruit of is grace krupaphala. Jagruti - awareness is a different thing altogether.
There is no need to rush in this. This Gnan is so rare, that it eludes a a living being for a hundred thousand life times, and You have attained it. Having obatained it with such ease and in a short while, one becomes embroiled in a rush and frenzy raghavaat. This is not a line of the impatient and shortcuts. This is the line of harmony patience and stillness.
The Lord, considers the establishment of awareness laksha 'I am Shuddhatma' a great state. In the Kramik path, this pratiti conviction is only of the 'word' that describes the attribute of the Self. There is a great value attached to this conviction of the 'word'. The guna attribute of the word, 'Shuddhatma' pure Soul, is the one on which the conviction is established, that, 'I am this'. That is called samkit and there is a very high value placed on it, and yet it is only a conviction pratiti on the word. And to You all, the pratiti conviction is of the vastu the Self. It is swabhavik natural to the Self. That is why this conviction pratiti is called kshayak eternal. This Gnan is on its way to do tremendous wonders.