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did I have prior to enlightenment?' He says that, 'I did not have any illusions of any kind. I had no inclination for money or sex. The only thing I did have was pride maan. There was no pride with 'myness' abhimaan. Abhimaan can only exist if there is myness- mamata'. This was pride without any myness.
If from the young age someone had seen only insults, he will have a strong appetite for respect, if only respect and respect only was given from everywhere in childhood, the appetite for respect will not be there later.
When the one with the tuber of pride maani gets respect, his tuber of greed will decrease. Whereas the one with the tuber of greed lobhi will not let go of his tuber of greed, there will be no decrease in his greed, even when served with a lot of respect.
From the perspective of liberation, simple pride is acceptable, but to think all day and night, and to move all one's energy in, 'where will I get respect from, how can I get respect and recognition in the eyes of the world?' is gravely dangerous. Pride can be removed but it is very difficult to eradicated the beggary for pride.
If people give you respect, you should enjoy it but do not become habituated by it. One should be careful not to become attracted and then attached to the one who gives you respect.
In the process of enjoying respect, awarenss of the Self is diminished and if deceit enters in to the acquiring of respect, there will be total darkness. There is no objection in enjoying respect that comes naturally but the if this leads to covetousness for more pride, then this of deformity of pride results in intoxication of pride; that is objectionable. The very existence of pride makes one ugly, and then he can not be attractive. The pride persists because of believing others to be inferior.
Can one who loves respect love insult with the same intensity? Constant awareness to avoid being insulted is verily the beggary for pride maan..