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win the love of his family by dealing with them with equanimity. But he does not remain in the Agnas; he does not even know what the Agnas are. He knows the Agnas only through the medium of his intellect or words but he does not understand what it really means bhaavarth. Those abiding by the Agnas may have some seaparation due differences of opinions matabheda but they do not have quarrels. People at home will not get emotionally and physically exhausted kantado with him.
Questioner: So in practical terms , one has to remain as the pure Self, do pratikraman and stay away from that which makes him slip?
Dadashri: Yes, and one should be able to adjust with his family members. 'Settling files with equanimity', is the main Agna, no? And should one not see the pure Soul in everyone at home? But he does not even think that way; he does not even have this much awareness.
The solution for this is to make a firm decision that one wants to remain in Dada's Agnas and then start practicing it from the next day. Then do pratikraman for the times one did not remain in the Agna. Please everyone at home by dealing with them, with equanimity. Despite doing all this, if anyone in the family gets upset, just 'see that, and continue 'seeing' that. They are acting that way because of the past account. It is only today that the decision to abide by the Agnas has been made, so win the family over with love. Then, one will notice that things are beginning to settle down. But one can only believe this if the family members agree that things are changing and settling down for the better. Eventually the family will always be there for the one who has overcome this distastrous kashaya of lalacha.
Then one should not dominate and boss over the wife dhanipanu. You are not an owner-husband dhani and so why behave like one? You are only a husband in name only so why behave as a owner-husband? There is no problem if you really were her boss dhani. Would problems not arise if you try to boss her around when you are not even her boss? Therefore, you should not be bossy. When she bosses over you, accept it with a smile and tell yourself, 'Oh ho ho! Even you made me pay up a pending account!' Isn't it good that she is making you pay off your accounts?
If one remains in the Agnas of Dada constantly, there is no problem . When this does not happen, then one should do pratikraman.