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She decided to confess her thoughts and began her journey towards her Gurudev in order to confess. On the way, a thorn pricked her foot. She considered it to be a bad omen. She thought, "If I confess, I will be looked down by Gurudev. He will consider me to be faithless and devotionless. She was confused by such thoughts. Finally, she decided to take atonement for the sins by not disclosing herself. She told Gurudev, “Oh! Gurudev! if anybody thinks such then what could be the atonment for it?". She did not reveal that it was herself who thought such & thus she did not make pure confession. After that, for 10 years she did several fasting of 2, 3, 4 & 5 days. She consumed roasted grains for two years and monthly fasts for sixteen years. She did Ayambil for 20 years, & consumed only dried chana for 2 years. Thus, she
observed severe penance but her sins were not purified & she had to take many births on this earth. She will get salvation in the duration of the first promoter of Jainism of next twenty four promoters. As she did not confess sincerely, her soul wandered in life forms. If she had confessed sincerely then she wouldn't have to observe so many fasts, nor would have to suffer in future births. As she hid her sin, her penance also were in vain. So one should get purified by confessing evil thoughts also.
Many confess their sins occurred by the body but neglect the sins committed by thoughts. Very few of them confess their evil thought. It should be kept in mind that while confessing, one should also reveal their evil thoughts. Atonement is necessary for the mental sins as well as the physical sin.
Confession: The Path to Self-liberation...71 For Personal & Private Use Only
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