Kshamapana

Author(s): Kumarpal Desai
Publisher: Jaibhikkhu Sahitya Trust
Catalog link: https://jainqq.org/explore/034280/1

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KSHAMAPANA By Kumarpal Desai Shri Jaybhikhkhu Sahitya Trust Ahmedabad-380007

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KSHAMAPANA By Kumarpal Desai (c) Kumarpal Desai First Edition : 1999 A.D. Published by: Shri Jaybhikhkhu Sahitya Trust 13/B, Chandranagar Society, Jaybhikhkhu Marg, Paldi Ahmedabad-380007 Available at: Institute of Jainology 501, Mahakant Building, Opp. V. S. Hospital, Ellisbridge, Ahmedabad-380006 Printed at: Unique Offset, N. R. Estate, Tavdipura, Ahmedabad-380004 Our Special Thanks For This Book Shri Jivandas Godidas Shankheshwar Parshvanathji Jain Derasar Trust, Ahmedabad Shri Shrenikbhai Kasturbhai Shri Arvindbhai Panala

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KSHAMAPANA khAmemi savve jIvA, savve jIvA khamaMtu me / mittI me savvabhUesu veraM majjha na keNaI / / [I ask all sentiments to forgive me my misdoings. May all sentients forgive me my offences. I love all sentients. I bear animosity towards none.] Paryushana, the greatest Jain religious festival, gives us this message : We should speak words of forbearance and direct a loving glance towards all. After seven days of penance, rises the Samvatsari day, the day of accomplishment. The seven days of austerities and the purification of the soul culminate in asking forgiveness. After practising penance charity, introspection and pratikramana for seven days, the hearts of the devotees become

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8 Kshamapana clear like the skies : cloudless and clean, as if touched with rainbow colours after heavy rains. The rainbow lines of lust, anger, pride and conceit now do not spread their charms to obstruct them. As new waters pour themselves into rivers, mud and mire are washed away. Similarly, as the spirit of non-violence (ahimsa), non-absolutism (anekanta) and non-possession (aparigraha) rises of life at the time of Samvatsari Pratikramana, the waters of forgiveness rise up Some people stand on the shore. They get only shells and pebbles from the surface. They have no courage or desire to dive into deep waters. The austerities of all those who do not dive into the waters of penitence, of generosity, to be immersed and purified, bear no fruits. They truly propitiate who forgive and ask forgiveness. Today every home, every family is ablaze Some minds are angry and some hearts are offended. Jealousies sting here and animosities burn there. Do we wish to keep the fire burning all through life or receive the healing balm of the waters of forgiveness? The decision is to be taken today. That is the only justification for celebrating the festival. Bhagavan Mahavir has told an ingenious story Kshamapana 9 of a man who lost nine hundred and ninety-nine rupees for a cowrie : "Once upon a time a man went abroad to earn money. He worked hard and earned a thousand rupees. He set out on his returning journey in good company. He put 999 rupees in a long, narrow purse and tied it round his waist and kept one rupee apart. He changed the rupee for cowries. He decided to meet all expenses on the way home with these hundred cowries. After a long journey, he was now nearing home and his village was only a short distance away. He then sat down to take his meal. Through negligence he dropped a cowrie there. He resumed his journey. On the way he remembered having lost a cowrie through carelessness. Moreover, he would have to get change for another rupee for want of a cowrie. But he had a purse of 999 rupees tied round his waist. It was not safe to return alone with the purse. He dug up the soil at a particular spot and buried the rupees there and returned to fetch the cowrie. He searched for the place where he had halted. He ransacked the place where he had his meal. At the place where he had drunk water, he put his hands into the mud, looking for the cowrie. But nowhere was the cowrie to be found. He ran

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10 - Kshamapana back to the former place only to find that someone had meanwhile taken away the rupees that he had buried there. He lost both the cowrie and the nine hundred and ninty-nine rupees." Bhagavan Mahavir says that as the man lost nine hundred and ninety-nine rupees for the sake of a cowrie, so man loses his valuable soul for the sake of his desires. He loses the dignity of the soul for the sake of the body that is worth only a cowrie. Significance of Samvatsari In the propitiation days of the Paryushana. parva, we need to search the soul. Let the body which is worth a cowrie, along with the passions that inhabit it, be lost, but let us search the valuable soul. Paryushana is the festival (parva) when we should examine the soul, search the soul. Forgiveness is its culminating original incantation. The festival (parva) of penitance and spiritual love has came today for the soul roaming in the darkness of animosity and the fire of jealousy, with an evil desire for retaliation, on the festival Deepavali. We draw up the balance sheet of profit and loss. Samvatsari is an annual festival. On this day the account of good and bad deeds of the whole year should be settled and sincere efforts should be made to get free from bad deeds. In the Agam scriptures, there is the Kshamapana a 11 story of three merchants. With an equal capital they set out trading. The first merchant doubled the capital and returned. The second merchant got entrapped in depression of prices and returned only with the original capital. The third merchant incurred a loss. Let alone gains he lost the original capital. All the human beings, of the jivas in the world are like these three merchants. The first type of jivas preserve the original capital of humanity and moreover they attain reverence. They practise good conduct, keep vows and attain emancipation. The second type of jivas do not attain emancipation but preserve humanity. They practise good conduct. The jivas of the third type lose even the traces of humanity. They practise bad conduct and are consigned to hell. Fault-finding and Inner Search Today we should search the self. Who does not err ? To err is human. Errors are committed sometimes automatically, sometimes by force of Karma and sometimes through misunder. standing. We may or may not wish but we have quarrels and distrees in life. All these errors are no doubt earmarked on the slate of Karma and the effort to clean the slate before the errors are

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12 Kshamapana cemented on it, is true forgiveness. In his previous bhava (birth) as Triprushtha Vasudev, Bhagavan Mahavir poured overheated lead into his servant's (shayyapalak's) ears. Ages passed by. The servant (shayyapalak) of the previous birth came as a cowherd and thrust straight long thorns into Bhagavan Mahavir's ears. This happened during the twelfth year of his penance. This incident shows that if animosity is not calmed and quietened in time, it produces very horrible results. The real way of celebrating the Samvatsari festival lies in seeing one's own faults, in rising above the mud of attachment and a version that lies at every step, in being awakened to one's errors. If a man does not get awakened to his errors and enjoyments in time, he is put into a very bad plight. He becomes untruthful, addicted, attached and full of harm of others. Regarding the plight of such an ignorant man, "Dashavaikalika Sutra' says: niccubviDago jahA teNo, atta-kammehi dummi| tAriso maraNaMte vi, nA''rAhei saMvaraM / / (- 421.31.4, 3.2.. 38) As the ever-fearing thief comes to grief as a result of his own bad deeds, so the ignorant person comes to grief on account of his misdeeds and even when his end comes near he cannot Kshamapana 13 restrain his sense organs. An old woman of eighty wa lying on her death-bed. She was breathing her last. Somebody told her, "Granny, now ask everybody's forgiveness." Then the old woman said, "I will ask forgiveness of everybody except my second son because I don't want to see his wretched face." Thus even at the age of eighty, even when one is breathing one's last, the mind is pre-occupied with past hurts of anger and of spite. At the end, even when navakar mantra is being spoken to him, man tightens the knot of his animosity and retaliation. Thus, these days of Paryushan are the days of introspection. Man constantly roams outside. It is easy to see the outside world. For it, eyesight would do, insight is not needed. Our sense organs are also inclined towards the outer world. But the days of Paryushan are the days of looking inwards. In daily life we offened a number of sentients. We happen to be unjust, disrespectful or offensive to them. We bear animosity or hostility. Considering all this, we should retrace our steps from the wrong path. To ask their forgiveness, to abandon animosity towards them, to love them - is the aim of forgiveness (Kshamapana).

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14Kshamapana Godliness in Humility The incantation (Mantra) of forgiveness (Kshamapana) includes both forgiving and asking forgiveness. Before asking forgiveness, one has to climb down from the perch of arrogance. Greatness or smallness does not prevent one from asking forgiveness (michchhami dukkadam). Here all preferences, prejudices, status and dignity cease. The best illustration of asking forgiveness is found in the life of Bhagavan Mahavir's chief disciple, Gautama, who was a treasure of knowledge and a model of saintliness. Once Bhagavan Mahavir's chief disciple, Indrabhuti Gautama, was returning bare-footed and bare-headed after begging for a meal. Humility was glowing over the face of Gautama who had conquered the directions and the ends of the four quarters. All arrogance of knowledge had melted. This great disciple of Mahavir believed "What is true is mine." He did not believe - "What is mine is true." Walking along the main road, Gautama knew that Bhagavan Mahavir's lay-disciple, Ananda, who was on fast unto-death was lying on a darbha (sacred grass)-bed. Gautama, the merciful, called to see Ananda Shravaka, the owner of eighteen crores of gold-sheets and six Vrajas (herds) of ten Kshamapana 15 thousand cows each. When Ananda saw this chief disciple of Mahavir, he bowed down and asked "Bhagavan, can a layman attain clairvoyance ?" "Surely, while living his worldly life, a monk's devotee can attain the third great knowledgeclairvoyance." Ananda's face lighted up when he heard this. He said, "Bhagavan, I have attained clairvoyance. By virtue of it I can see fifty jojans (50 x 8 = 400 miles) deep in the Lavana sea to the east, the west and the south. I can directly recognize all things as far as Saudharmakalpa in the sky and as far as Lolachchua hellish abode in the nether regions." Ananda's voice smacked of experience. Members of his family who had collected around heard this with surprise. Gautama Swami thought for a while and then said, "Ananda ! A shravaka can attain clairvoyance but it cannot be so far-reaching as you said. Your statement is delusive. You should immediately practise penance for it." Shravaka Ananda had full faith in his contention. He said, "Bhagavan! Does Bhagavan Mahavir's dispensation perscribe penance for him who tells the truth?"

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16 Kshamapana "No." "Then you should practice penance. You made a wrong statement," said Anand with confidence. This statement of the monk's devotees confused Guru Gautama for a while. People began to say that Ananda had crossed the limits of polite speech on the one hand, there was Gautama, the greatest of monks, and on the other hand, there was Ananda, the layman. An ocean is an ocean and a lake is a lake. Guru Gautama is an ocean of knowledge. A lake has its limits. Can an ocean have a boundary? Gautama, the great ganadhara, was very eager to know the truth. He soon went to Bhagavan Mahavir and narrated the incident. He asked in humility, "Bhagavan! Who should practise penance for this - I or Ananda ?" Without the least hesitation, Mahavir, the great justifier and propounder of truth, said, "Gautama! You should practise penance for this. You should immediately ask Ananda's forgiveness." As a wild storm shakes all the trees in a forest, so there was a violent commotion in the atmosphere. What a judgement! God Himself asked his chief disciple to beg pardon. No concession, no moderation! In case Gautama of Kshamapana 17 vast knowledge made a mistake, he could be asked privately to practise penance. But to go to a shravak to beg his pardon was improbable, impossible. Between Gautama and Ananda the difference was great. The Shravak who had a little knowledge of religion and religious rites, and Gautama who had explored the vast ocean of religious principles were poles apart. The world wondered but Gautama who had conquered pride and arrogance went straight to Ananda and said, "Ananda, you are right. I ask your forgiveness (michchhami dukkadam) for my wrong statement." Tears flowed from Ananda's eyes. Joining his hands in supplication he said, "You have brightened my last hour. What humility befitting a man of knowledge ! What modesty, difficult to attain even after a number of bhavas (births) ! Victory! Victory of Lord Mahavir ! Victory of Gautama of wast knowledge !" While begging pardon one should be humble and modest. "That is why Bhrami and Sundari, the two savant sisters of Bahubali, said to him, "My brother! Alight from the elephant." These words reminded Bahubali of his great fault. "His younger brothers who had taken the diksha

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18 Kshamapana earlier were senior to him in respcet of knowledge. This is why Bahubali ought to bow down to them." Bahubali went on raising his degree of austerities. But the small thorn - "I am elder"would not let Bahubali's severe austerities fructify. But when he knew his fault, Bahubali begged pardon from his heart of hearts. The next moment his austerities fructified. Forgiveness and the earth are alike. Thus, forgiveness is the joy of life and the spring of penance. When spring comes, nature is in full bloom. The spring of spiritual merits blooms in the life of the man who adopts forgiveness in life. Today forgiveness has become a formality. By force of habit man says, "Thank you', in ordinary dealings of life. But this is only a formality, only a habit. With a number of people, it is a habit to say "Thank you. If a man turns the tap on and water comes from it, he says, "Thank you'. But this is an ordinary type of forgiveness. The forgiveness that we talk of in paryusana days comes from a vastness of heart, from an abundance of good qualities and tranquility of mind. One of the meanings of the word, 'forgiveness (Kshama)' in Sanskrit is 'the earth (pruthvi)'. The man living on earth digs it deep and constructs a mine there. But the earth bears Kshamapana 19 all this. The earth is considered to be a symbol of forbearance. That is why the Mahabharata says, "Violence is the strength of the wicked, penalty is the strength of of kings, service is the strength of women and forgiveness is the strength of the virtuous." In the Mahabharata we read that at midnight, after the victory of the Pandavas, Ashvatthama came secretly and brutally killed Draupadi's five sons. The ocean of victory turned into deep lamentation. Instead of cheering, loud wailing was heard on all sides. Seeing this cruel killing of her sons, Draupadi often became unconscious and fell on the ground. Bhima and Arjun ran to catch Ashvatthama, the killer that had got away. They catch him in a wild jungle and presented him before Draupadi. Shri Krishna said to Draupadi, "This is the killer of your sons. What should be the punishment for his crime? A single blow of Bhima's mace or Arjun's weapon can separate, can remove his head off his trunk. How shall we punish him?" Draupadi burst into tears. The murder of her five sons had filled her heart with pain. She sobbed and said, "How terrible is the pain of a son's loss! I actually have experienced the pain. I don't wish that his mother should experience

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20 Kshamapana the pain. Don't kill him. How agonizing is the pain of a mother's heart ! I won't have Ashvatthama's mother experience the pain. Release him." Formal forgiveness (Dravya Kshama) And Ashvatthama, the murderer, was released. This is the grandeur of forgiveness. The animosity and retaliation in our heart should be tranquilized before we ask forgiveness. He who becomes tranquilized, deserves to be propitiated. This means that you cannot practise spiritual austerities before asking forgiveness. We often make errors and develop animosities in life. If our hand touches someone and we say 'Sorry, or conventionally post a card of forgiveness, it is a formal forgiveness. Such formal forgiveness is a matter of routine in life, but it is inconsequential. Forgiveness for show is a vanity. Some say that absence of anger is forgiveness. To grow angry first and then to ask forgiveness is no forgiveness. Bhagavan Mahavir compares anger to a flaming fire. In the Puranas, anger is said to be the gateway to hell. In the Koran, anger is said to be Satan's son. In the Bible, anger is said to be a volcano burning every man to ashes. Anger Kshamapana a 21 expresses itself in four stages. In the first stage, a person senior in respect of age, status or wealth grows angry with a junior person. A mother-inlaw grows angry with the daughter-in-law, a guru grows angry with his disciple and father grows angry with his son. For a slight reason they grow angry. The second stage is that of suffocation. When a person is unable to express his anger openly, he becomes mentally upset and seeks an opportunity for retaliation. The third stage is that of weeping. This is a helpless condition of anger, when feelings of anger cannot be expressed or contained, person bursts into tears. The fourth stage of anger is excessive tranquillity and it is found in gentlemen and great men. They transform anger into tranquility. They do not wish to retaliate. Anger is Like Fire Anger is said to be blind. It means that anger destroys itself. Chandakaushik, the snake, was an ascetic in his previous birth. He grew angry with children who had completely destroyed his garden. So with an axe in hand he ran to strike them. But he came upon a ditch. Kaushika, the ascetic, did not see the ditch, and the axe in his hand recoiled on him and killed him. A similar incident happened during Bhagavan Mahavir's

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22 Kshamapana period of penance. He came to the rich city of Vaishali. For meditation he selected a blacksmith's desolate low-roofed house. The sick blacksmith had gone to live elsewhere for change of air. But the blacksmith recovered and returned. He saw that a monk had taken possession of his house. He thought that surely somebody has taken occupancy of his premises in his absence. He who believed that 'All land is God's land had taken possession of his land. The blacksmith had recovered from a long illness. He had become irritable. Moreover, as soon as he stepped into his house, he saw this. Wild with anger, the blacksmith lifted a weighty sledge-hammer. He thought of hitting the weighty sledger-hammer hard on the monk's head so as to kill the monk in a moment. Some tried to dissuade the blacksmith, some tried to prevent him, and some warned him of the great sin of killing a monk. But as they tried to calm the blacksmith, his anger rose. At last, it was a question of life and death. The blacksmith lifted the weighty sledge-hammer and began to brandish it. Mahavir stood firm as before. No fear. No tremor. Resolute like Mount Meru he stood full of equanimity, engrossed in meditation. The monk's tranquility provoked the blacksmith all Kshamapana 23 the more. He vigorously brandished the sledge. hammer. In a moment he would strike the monk and the latter would fall dead. But a strange thing happened! As the blacksmith began to brandish the sledge-hammer, his hand started trembling. He was so excited that he wished to kill the monk there and then. The blacksmith's hand was arrested. Instead of being brandished forth, the sledge-hammer receded. It recoiled on the blacksmith who, just recovered from illness, killed himself through anger. Mahavir stood firm in meditation as before. Anger hurts the angry person himself. How preverted a man becomes when he grows angry! His eyes are dilated and emit sparks. Sometimes he stamps his feet and sometimes he utters foul language. He who is angry defiles not only the other person but the whole atmosphere. That is why Shakespeare said that anger is deep like the sea and quick like the fire. Saint Tiruvalluvar says that fire burns whatever goes near it, but the fire of anger burns the whole family. An angry man closes his eyes and opens his mouth wide. Anger expels discrimination from the mind and bolts it out. Such anger can be compared to a stone thrown at a bee-hive; it soon gets

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24 Kshamapana transformed into enmity. A great man was returning from a riverbank, after having a bath. A Chandala (sinful man) splashed him. The great man flared up and began to abuse the Chandala. He bathed again. When he came out of the river the Chandala went to bathe. This added to the great man's anger. He said, "Why do you need to bathe?" The Chandala said, "It is necessary to wash out a Chandala's touch. When you were abusing me, the great Chandala of anger was inhabiting your mind. I bathe to wash out its defiled touch." Thus, anger makes of a man a great Chandala. It commits the offence of violence and destroys joy. Anger comes like a wave and develops into a great ocean engulfing man's mind. From a small seed of anger a great banyan tree of enmity shoots up. Through a small hole it enters the mind and pervades everywhere. Anger turns a man into a demon. In order to know it, we should find out the seed of anger. After the seed has been found, we should stop fertilizing it. This is what saints have done Tukaram, the saint, never grew angry. Someone is said to have declared a prize for making him feel angry. A man took up the challenge. He went to the place where Saint Tukaram was singing hymns and sat in his lap. Kshamapana 25 Tukaram began to caress him like a small child. That man tried another trick. He jumped and sat on the back of Tukaram's waife in order to anger him. Tukaram said to his wife, "Take care lest he should fall." His trick failed. Thus, only he who knows the root of anger can forgive. Forgiveness Saves us from Transmigration Anger is foreign to the soul, forgiveness is natural to it. Anger is enmity, forgiveness is friendship. Anger kills, forgiveness saves. When the soul performs its ablutions in the nectar of forgiveness, all obstinacy, quarrels, enmity, treachery, etc. melt away. If anger is harboured, it gets transformed into enmity. For births to come enmity keeps man submerged in anger. "Enmity is fight, Kshama is restraint. Enmity is destructive, Kshama is conducive to progress. Enmity disjoins, Kshama joins. Enmity unfair, Kshama is fair. Enmity argues, Kshama confesses. Enmity is perversity, Kshama is culture. Enmity is whirlpool, Kshama is a lotus. The surest remedy for the poison of enmity is forgiveness. Three Categories of Men In view of the pace of life today, forgiveness is

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26 Kshamapana more important than ever before. In the cultural context of today, there is a greater need for forgiveness today than ever. In the times of Bhagavan Rishabhdev, men were simple and dull. By nature they were simple, but intellectually they were dull. A disciple went begging. He got 32 vadas. (A vadun is a fried eatable.) He thought, "Out of these sixteen some are to be given to the guru. Let me then eat sixteen fresh vadas." He walked a little way further and thought, "If I show these to the guru, he will give me half of them. Let me then eat eight vadas." Then the disciple walked on, halted and ate half of the vadas each time. At last there was but one vadun left with him. The guru asked the disciple, "Why is there only one vadun ? What became of the other vadas ?" Then as the disciple ate the vadun he said, "This is how I ate them." The disciple was simple by nature, but intellectually he was dull. During the period from that of the second Tirthankara to that of the twenty-third Tirthankara, people were simple and intelligent. In the times of the twenty-fourth Tirthankara, Bhagavan Mahavir, and in later times, people are crooked (vakra) and dull. Today simplicity Kshamapana o 27 has been all but lost. Simplicity is taken for silliness and roguery is taken for cleverness. Man's intellect has reached great heights but his heart goes on contracting. Forgiveness without simplicity is formal. So, in these days of crookeddull people, we need to cultivate the virtue of forgiveness. When we say, "May all sentients forgive me my offences !", we need not have any inferiority complex. We should feel ourselves uplifted. Pride should melt. We should have a firm conviction that the other person is like us in all respects. In the times of Bhagavan Mahavir, Chanda. pradyota, the lustful king, broke into the house of the royal sage Udayan who lived a lotus-like life. He came riding on a ferocious elephant, named Analgiri, carried off from Udayan's palace a beautiful maid-servant and a sandalwood idol from his temple. These were no ordinary things, the maid-servant and the idol. At the time of her death Udayan's dear wife Prabhavati had asked the king to worship the idol and to take care of the hunch-backed maid-servant. Seeing this idol, Udayan gradually tried to reduce his wailings over his wife and the delusion of samsara. The hunch-backed maid-servant who worshipped the idol became temple attendant. Meanwhile, a

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28 Kshamapana gentleman from the Gandhara kingdom came to worship this divine idol. On account of the fatigue of the journey and the change of climate he fell ill. Seeing this condition of her God's devotee, he hunch-backed maid-servant took pity on him, nursed him well and cured him. In return, the gentleman gave to the maid-servant a medicinal gold-pill to make her extremely beautiful. The maid-servant then longed to be a queen. Udayan lived a lotus-like life and so the maid-servant hinted to Chandapradyota, the king of Avanti. Chandapradyota, the king of Avanti, carried the maid-servant off. The maid-servant brought with her the sandalwood idol which she worshipped everyday. When king Udayan heard this news, his mind became restless. Chandpradyota had robbed him of his good name. As a dutiful king, he thought that Chandapradyota had outraged his dignity and become his enemy and the enemy should be killed. With all royal authority, he gave a call to ravage the kingdom of Avanti and to imprison or kill the king. But Udayan, the discriminate and religious king, knew that much injustice is done if one fights a battle in exitement. Along with the guilty, the innocent are killed. King Udayan, Bhagavan Mahavir's devotee, first sent his Kshamapana 29 messengers but Chandapradyota took this for cowardice. At last, Udayana called up his army. He decided to fight the battle with the least possible violence. The purpose was served by a duel between the two kings. On the battlefield of Avanti, Udayan, the royal king, and Chandapradyota, the king, fought like two clouds full of thunder and lightning. Chandapradyota, the proud king, could not reject the royal king Udayan's challenge to a duel and in no time he was defeated. The adamantine body of Udayan was so strong that even this lustful king who knew a thousand treacheries, could not defeat him. Soon the fell supine and was bound in iron chains. King Udayan became victorious. King Udayan entered the kingdom of Avanti. He spread the message of non-violence and declared that the innocent would be protected, and that nobody should fear brute strength. King Pradyota was imprisoned and the words 'a maidservant's husband' were written on his forehead. Thus, king Udayan conquered Avanti and returned. These were the days of the months of Shravana and Bhadrapada. This devotee of Bhagavan stopped the march of the army for the eight days of Paryushana and pitched his tents at a safe place. The Samvatsari day came. In the

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30 Kshamapana morning King Udayan said, "We shall fast today. But don't keep them hungry who do not fast." The chief cook of the army said, "Sir, all others have followed you. Only the prisoner Chandapradyota remains to be asked." King Udayan said, "Ask him but don't starve him. Ask him his wish and then cook." The chief cook went to ask king Chandapradyota. Chandapradyota tried to know why only on that day the question was asked. The chief cook of the kitchen explained it all to him but the deceitful mind of Chandapradyota had a doubt. He thought that perhaps it was a plan to give him poison in his food. So he, too, thought of fasting. King Chandapradyota said, "I am also a follower of Bhagavan Mahavir's religion. In this miserable condition my mind is confused. I didn't remember even the day of this religious festival. Go and tell you king that I fast today." The chief cook told king Udayan everything from beginning to end. King Udayan heard this and thought, "Oh, this Pradyota is a follower of my religion. Today I am to ask annual forgiveness (Samvatsari Kshamapana). Without asking for his forgiveness, my observance of the religious austerities would remain incomplete." Kshamapana 31 King Udayan's minister dissuaded him. They said, "Chandapradyota attends Mahavir's conference but he has all the vices." Someone said, "Release the tiger from the cage and it will again assault." Udayan, the royal king said, "Bravery lies as much in punishing a strong enemy as in forgiving an enemy." Before the moon of the fifth day of the bright half of the month of Bhadrapada gilttered in the sky, king Udayan himself severed the chains of Pradyota, the king of Avanti. He seated him on a seat equal to his. He asked forgiveness for his immodesty and offence and said a few words about the upliftment of the soul. Thus Mahavir's forgiveness is a brave man's forgiveness. It need king Udayan's fearless heart. A weak mind does not forgive readily or become generous. A man of weak mind cannot stretch his hand for friendship. A Mine of All Virtues Forgiveness is the gift of an adamantine heart. Forgiveness is a promise of a pious heart. That is why they say that forgiveness is a brave man's virtue. Forgiveness means strength. Forgiveness calls for a strong heart. At the time of his crucifixion, Jesus forgave them who sent him to

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32 Kshamapana the cross, because they did not know what they were doing. That is why he said while showing the importance of forgiveness, "If you remember when you are going to offer ablation that there is an enmity between you and your brother, return and compromise." This means that if the heart is full of animosity, no religious rite will be fruitful. The Jain religion fully expounds the virtue of forgiveness. It brings us a number of virtues at once. Forgiveness is said to be the seed-plot of all virtues. If forgiveness enters, greediness disappears. With forgiveness come renounce-ment, simplicity, modesty, contentment and control over the mind and sense-organs. If all these virtues are present, forgiveness can be practised. Forgiveness means being a Jain monk (nirgrantha), free from all ties, unknotting all ties, "Ksha (8) means a knot and ma (1) means 'to destroy'. Life today is caught up in a number of knot. Between father and son, there are differences of opinion. Between Guru and disciple, there are disputes. Between husband and wife, there are misunderstandings. Between friends, there are broils. Between master and servant, there is ill feeling. Between neighbours, there are quarrels. Love is absent in the relations between Kshamapana 33 near ones. Forgiveness unites broken hearts. There are knots of arrogance and there are knots of enmity. There are obsessions and differences of opinion. Man becomes a victim of strange mental diseases. In a sugarcane where there is a knot, there is no juice. this is why relations between persons have become dry and uninteresting. Forgiveness vitalizes them. During the period covering the Tirthankaras from the second to the twenty-third, life was comparatively simple. When a mistake was made, people begged pardon, but life today is complex. Man is restless and he makes the world around him fell restless. Man lives as if in a prison cell. Knowingly or unknowingly, we become victims of anger, pride, illusion and greed. These vices express themselves through our body, speech and mind. Outwardly we are good, but inwardly? Only God knows. Arrogance is a great vice. Illusion says, "This is mine, that is yours." Where there is anger, there is annoyance. Where there is pride, there is insult. What we think to be non-existent, is found to be existent. What we think to be existent, is found to be non-existent. Lust pervades everywhere. The festival of forgiveness is the festival of universal love; the festival, that promises

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34 Kshamapana fearlessness to the sentients of the three worlds. Let us proclaim from the depths of a generous heart and in a voice touched with tenderness : "Love all sentients of the universe ! Cherish all good intentions of the Heart ! Came, forgive and ask forgiveness ! The world is full of vices, full of enmity Let us sow the seeds of friendship. Then only the world will be worth living in." O! Brother mine! Why is there a collar round your neck ? Are you a wood-cutter for bhavas (births)? Are you to roam with a bundle of sticks of passions (Kashayas) ? Why can't you speak in a free voice from a frank heart : "Michchhami dukkadam! May my evil deeds be fruitless !" First is the love of the mother and next comes the love for brothers and sisters. It then develops into the care for the interests of others and it expands into compassion for all sentients. Forgiveness is the measure of the fruitfulness of all ritual. Forgiveness gives an estimate of how far religious rites have been realized. Forgiveness is the barometer of the true religious spirit. In the absence of Forgiveness vows, prayers, penances, meditations and religious rites do not give fruits. Forgiveness which is a soul's virtue, Kshamapana a 35 is distorted by anger and passions (Kashayas). Water is cool by nature. In the proximity of fire it becomes hot, but heat is now water's property, it is a foreign element. As soon as the fire is removed, water regains its natural coolness. For bringing coolness to water no other aid is needed, because coolness is its natural property. Similarly, forgiveness is the soul's natural charateristic. No external instrument is needed for it. But as water becomes hot, so forgiveness, the natural characteristic of the soul, is distorted by the rise of anger and other passions, but that distortion is not natural. In the absence of its contact with fire, heat is reduced. Similarly, in the absence of anger and other passions, the distortion is tranquillized. When the soul is its own nature, it is happy because it gains happiness in and by its own nature. When it flinches from its own nature and is mixed with foreign elements, it becomes unhappy. Thus, anger is not soul's nature but a foreign element produced by contact with outer circumstances and that is why it is harmful to the soul. There is nothing so harmful as anger and there is nothing so helpful as forgiveness. Anger brings a fall not only in this birth but also in the next birth. It is said about forgiveness: "The best forgiveness is the essence of the three worlds, it takes us across the samsara

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36 Kshamapana or transmigration, it gets us the three gems and it prevents our downfall." Merciful Eyes Such excellent forgiveness is best illustrated by Mahavir's life. He experienced a number of calamities (upasargas) in life. But God bore them all with patience. When Indra, the greatest of gods, praised Bhagavan Mahavir's greatness, a god named Sangam became conscious of divine egotism. He made up his mind to put Mahavir on trial. At that time, Mahavir was engrossed in meditation in Paulash temple outside the village Pedhal in the region named Dridhabhumi. His meditation was extraordinary. He was practising penance with his eyes fixed in a dry substance, without any movement of his eyelids. The god Sangam stepped forth. The earth and the sky thundered. He thought to himself, "Indra made a mountain out of a mole-hill, I will make a molehill of the mountain." Sangam came to Mahavir and tried his tricks, one after another. He wanted to prove that man is helpless in front of God's wonderful exploits. Now it was a dark and dangerous night. Ghosts were crying terribly and evil spirits were running about impatiently for food. But these terrible noises had no effect on Mahavir. He was Kshamapana 37 meditating open-eyed. A storm arose and poured a basketful of dust into his eyes. But Mahavir and his eyes had no relation each to the other, because the soul and the body are different. Ants acutely stinging like piercing needles and gnats with poisonous stings came. Then came large red ants capable of carving a human body into the shape of a sieve, The pain was so terrible that even an elephant would dash on the ground and die. But this ascetic would not move at all. Not a word of pain would come out of his mouth. Thus, on the one hand, the wicked one would not flinch from his wickedness and, on the other hand, the saint would not flinch from his saintliness. Meanwhile, his wife Yashoda and daughter Priyadarshana came. The unattached king Bhartruhari's heart which would never melt, was melted by his daughter's wailings. But nothing could affect Mahavir. Lust defeats him whom nothing else defeats in samsara.Age, strength or time do not count there. Beautiful women dancing and singing in the spring came to his ascetic but not a single hair on his body was affected at all. These tricks of Sangam failed. These moves in the game were defeated. Now he only wished that excited by mental torture and physical pain

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38 Kshamapana Mahavir should but once pray for God's help. If man accepts god's greatness, it is a great victory. He could then return to his Heavenly Abode with a bright face. Under Mahavir's feet a cook made a fire to cook food. A hunter hung cages on his body which was steady like the trunk of a tree. With strokes of their beaks, hungry birds prayed upon the flesh of his body. At the time, a thief was caught by chance. He said, "I am innocent. I have only carried out the orders of my guru. Come, I will show you my guru." The thief led the policeman to Mahavir who was practising penance. That 'Disciple' got free and the policeman beat up Mahavir like a beast. But speaking or asking for help was out of question. That was the re-payment of a particular debt, whether man or god - everyone is bound by the rope of Karma. The rope was being out that way. Mahavir got released from the kings gallows but in fact he was cutting the bondage. Six long months passed by. He had not got enough food by begging. But it was not in Mahavir to bow down. The gold of his soul stood the test of fire. Kshamapana 39 At last, Sangam fell down in supplication at Mahavir's feet. This god's pride yielded to Mahavir's conquest over internal enemies viz. lust, anger, greed, etc. His tolerance melted Sangam's heart, agonizing like bee's wax. Bhagavan Mahavir forgave Sangam who had agonized him in a number of ways for six long months. The Jain scriptures describe this spirit of forgiveness as under: jahiM AkosaNavayaNa sahijjai, jahiM paradosa Na jaNi bhAsijjai, jahiM ceyaNaguNa citta dharijjai, tahiM uttama khama jiNe kahijjai / [Those people who regard the harsh words of wicked persons as fruits of their own accumulated Karma, rather than blame others and get engrossed in the experience of the natural qualities of the soul and it is this that God calls forgiveness par excellence.] The Jain monk is forbidden to let the spittle pass down his throat before he asks forgiveness for his error. To love him who has spread thorns for you is the real test of forgiveness. Excited by jealousy, Bhagavan Buddha's own disciple once threw a slab of stone at him. Bhagavan Buddha was hurt on his leg. For a number of days he could

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40 Kshamapana not walk. Even then Bhagavan Buddha had no feeling of bitterness towards his disciple. Moreover he said, "If we bear this, they will ultimately realize their mistake." Forgiveness should be genuine, not artificial. We are to pray in the festival of Paryushan, not to celebrate it. Is forgiveness infused into life or is it simply verbal or formal? Forgiveness is the tremendous power that takes the soul near supersoul in a single leap. Have we made this forgiveness a matter of convenience? Are we sure that we do not believe that the evil deeds that we did for 364 days have been suddenly washed off only by saying, "I beg pardon of all sentients. May all sentients pardon me!" Joining two hands in supplication, saying over the phone or sending a printed card is of no use. The real forgiveness is that asking, which the mind does not hesitate or the creeper of the heart does not wither. The real forgiveness is that which decorates the street gates with wreaths of flowers of love and overturns the deadly thorns of past quarrels. The real forgiveness is that which showers nectar from the heart and regards all with love. About natural forgiveness, St. Jnanadeva says, "sahana karata sabameM baDo, garva na kSamA karAya, jimi zarIra romahiM dharata, tAko sudhi visarAya" Kshamapana a 41 There are innumerable lines of hair on the body but the body takes no notice of them. Similarly, enduring everything we should not be proud at all.] Forgiveness is the brilliance of the brilliant and the penance of ascetics. But are we really brilliant or is ours only a cover of hypocrisy, fear of cowardice? We see that a number of people are afraid not of lies but of detection of lies; not of evil deeds but of being caught doing evil deeds; not of stealing but of being exposed as thieves. As long as man is fearful, he cannot attain forgiveness. We do not torment the minds of others only, we do not say bitter words to others only, we do not offend the souls of others only, but we offend our own souls. We torment it by thoughts and words. We grow angry with ourselves. We should thus be aware of our offences not only to others but also to overselves in order to be able to ask forgiveness, for it is necessary for a person to confess his sins. If a man has exploited a poor person, if he has been instrumental to someone's exploitation, if he has given or taken bribes, if he has pained someone with his possession or killed someone with violence, he should confess his misdoings with himself as a witness. That is why Acharya Bhadrabahuswami says,

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42 Kshamapana "jaM dukkaDaM ti micchA, te bhujjo kAraNaM apUrato, tiviheNa paDihaMto, tassa khalu dukkaDa micchA." [The worshipper who performs pratikra. mana with thoughts, speech and body, who asks forgiveness for his offences and does not commit more sins has his sins made futile. When you become aware of sins, confess them frankly and take a vow not to commit the sins again, you approach forgiveness. May my misdeeds be forgiven !' means that we should take a firm vow always to refrain from the mistake which we have once confessed, the fault for which we have practised penitence and the sin for which we have atoned. In Avashyak Niryukti, Acharyashree clearly says, "Having once asked forgiveness for an offence, if someone again commits the sin, he evidently tells lies and weaves the net of hypocrisy." This is how forgiveness should be given and asked. Both these activities and their effects are different. Asking forgiveness is a bit easier than forgiving. While asking forgiveness, egotism is melted. Whether the other person forgives or not, he who asks forgiveness purifies his soul. But it does not suffice to ask forgiveness, to be tranquilized after asking forgiveness. One has to Kshamapana 43 tranquilize oneself. Asking forgiveness is difficult because the desire to retaliate, the waves of revenge, keep on rising in man's heart. When a man becomes a victim to injustices inflicted on him, he is more wounded. A noteworthy element of the conception of forgiveness in the Jain religion is that while other religions teach to ask god's forgiveness, the Jain religion talks of asking forgiveness of all souls. It is easy to ask forgiveness of God in a corner in a temple but when a man asks forgiveness of small and big living beings around him, his dealings in life change, he is reminded of his direct dealings with the whole living world; there is a reference to a person's dealings with the whole universe. Bhava Kshamapana (Experiencing Forgiveness) Jain philosophy classifies forgiveness into two categories : (1) Dravya kshamapana and (2) Bhava kshamapana. Dravya kshamapana is only formal. The person knows that he is not asking forgiveness from his heart. The forgiveness that is asked from one's heart is bhava kshamapana. Only the person with discretion (samyakdrishti) can ask bhava kshamapana. Bhava kshamapana expresses

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44 Kshamapana itself when the anantanubandhi (continuing since endless times) passions (kashayas) get tranquilized. Some errors are realized only in a day's time. Sometimes anger lasts for one day, sometimes, for a fortnight and sometimes, for four months. Sometimes anger is like a pebble thrown into water and sometimes it is like a line drawn on the sands on a river-bank. It soon gets obliterated by the wind. Sometimes anger is like an inscription on stone. That is why in the daily pratikramana, forgiveness is asked for offences made during twenty-four hours, in the fortnightly pratikramana, forgiveness is asked for offences made in the fortnight, and in the chomasi pratikramana, forgiveness is asked for offences made during four months. But sometimes anger lasts for a year. Samvastsari pratikramana is for this. Forgiveness saves us, attachment kills us. If forgiveness expresses itself in purely good (sattvaguni) sense, enmity and opposition do not rise. But the forgiveness given in rajoguni and tamoguni sense does not purify the soul. Forgive. ness in sattvika sense destroys innumerable sins and prevents the inflow of new karma in future. If during the period of one year enmity or jealousy towards someone has come to arise he should be Kshamapana 45 asked forgiveness. If we miss it, the sin is cemented on the slate of Karma. In that case samyakatva is lost and mithyatva comes to arise. That is why the duty of forgiveness on the day of the greatest festival (parvadhiraja) assumes great significance. That is why Shrimad Rajchandra introduces forgiveness as the grand gateway to emancipa. tion. According to the Jain Religion, excellent Kshama is the first of the ten prescribed duties. Forgiveness has different categories such as upkara-kshama, apakara-kshama, vipakakshama, etc. All these categories of forgiveness are found in our life but he who rises to vachana kshama and then dharma-kshama or sahaja. kshama easily attains emancipation. The Buddhist religion shows different attainments of excellence and says that he who adopts the quality of forgiveness and develops it to its highest degree, easily attains emancipation. Whom do we call the Tirthankara ? We call him Kshamashramana. when we go to temple we say, "I wish forgiveness". Once name of the Jain religion is Arhat dharma. The Jain religion says that if you are forgiving you afre meritorious. What is sleeping, wakens. Obscured jnana or darshana reveals itself. All distortions end.

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Kshamapana 47 46 Kshamapana All religions talk of sin. Some religions pray to God or worship miracles in order to be saved from the punishment for sin. The Jain philosophy says that there is no escape from punishment for sin. You can escape the punishment only if there is forgiveness in your mind. The Jain religion holds forgiveness in such a high esteem. We should prepare ourselves for forgiveness. The eight days of paryushana are for this preparation. The first important element of pratikramana is forgiveness. The first step to forgiveness is equanimity. For this there is samayika. Samayika means awareness of the present. Then comes pratikramana. Then comes atonement. Knowingly or unknowingly man transgresses the law every moment. He breaks the law. To return to the law we perform pratikramana. We ourselves ask forgiveness and inspire others to forgive. How to develop such fearlessness, such courage ? His pet disciple Gautam asked Bhagavan Mahavir, "Why do you talk of forgiveness every now and then ?" Bhagavan replied, "By forgiving we first feel elated and subsequently a peculiar sense of inner delight."